Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The day you have dreaded has come...

There is only one waste-reducing exfoliating body cleanser left.

That's right.

Just one.

There is only one more lucky blogger who can possess this treasure. Only one more home which can be graced with this holey object.

Who will it be?

Will it be you?

Or will you be left behind?

I know that each and every one of you wants to get your hands on this amazing manifestation of radical leftist environmentalist engineering. You will be able to bathe and exfoliate while at the same time saving the earth from annihilation.

Every day, millions of Americans strut selfishly, thoughtlessly into their showers, heedless of the plight of the planet. But you have been enlightened, and now you know what you must do. You must do your part. You must be a responsible citizen.

You must have this soap!

How will you get this soap? How can you stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution? How can you be the example for all your neighbors and friends? How can you acquire the one personal hygiene product which will identify you as truly progressive?

Simple. Just tell me why you deserve the last bar of holey exfoliating cleanser. State your case, and if you convince me, the bar is yours.

This may very well be the greatest blog giveaway ever!



  1. First of all LOVE THIS! I about died laughing haha :)

    hmmm why do I deserve the soap...

    If I was the lucky enough to receive this ridiculous bar of soap, I have to admit that I probably wouldn't use it in the way it's ridiculous engineers designed it to be used.

    I would definitely be keeping this bad boy in a special spot on my dresser next to the statue of Mary on my dresser. Mary reminds me every morning of who I should strive to be, and the soap would be a reminder of how ridiculous I shouldn't be. :)

    I would show it to my children as they grew as a reminder of how humanity has a tendency to take ideas to extremes even when sufficient evidence or logic is not present.

    Then, some day when I am old and gray and on my death bed, I will ask my children to take the soap, tie it up in a plastic bag, and bury it. :) Take that biodegradable obsessive scientists!

  2. Please don't send me the soap, I just wanted to say hi.

    Tee hee


  3. I'd use it as a picture frame. Although, Leila, I'd also have to request a small picture of you to put in the middle. We'll place you on our mantle and when people ask who that is and what kind of frame they are in...you know how I'll respond, "Oh she's apart of our Little Catholic Bubble."

  4. Funny you should mention this... My husband and I were just talking last night about what a shamble our lives are in. We're not green enough. And we know it. We've known it for a long time. And we're just living in denial.

    We've decided to take some much needed steps to pursue a greener future-one that will be a blessing to every tree, blade of grass, and cow on this planet (never mind the humans that will suffer during our effort). We've turned off our electricity and will be living by candlelight. We've cancelled our water and I am now using the porta-potty behing our apartment complex to pee in (every 15 minutes of course). We're no longer eating meat or anything that comes from an animal. We're also not eating anything that mimicks something that comes from an animal (soy burgers for example) because we feel it's just making fun of our beloved cows.

    Yes, we're turning over a new leaf (but not actually, we don't want to hurt the trees). No more cars, no more grocery stores, no more internet (this will, sadly, be my last comment ever).

    But then we realized-our soap is whole. WHOLE!! Not HOLE! He cried and cried. I sat in disbelief. We'll never be green. Not with our whole soap. And unless I get this last bar from you-our efforts will be wasted.

  5. Just like God's free gift of grace and having His son die on the cross for us, I don't deserve the soap. But, I would gladly receive it! ;) (Yes, a shameless tie in to the feast days of the last two days - Exaltation of the Holy Cross and Our Lady of Sorrows).

  6. Because every toilet in our house has been taken over by potty seats so the soap would fit right in with our bathroom decor.

  7. I love GIMH idea. I think she deserves it. The little Catholic Bubble author going in a frame which could make bubbles!!

  8. Because there is a lot more of me to wash lately and we could use the extra bar! Having an easy grip on it would save me from dropping it in the shower and being unable to bend down and get it, thus not washing thoroughly, and offending the noses of others.

  9. Leila, I have two very good reasons why I need the soap. First, since we are cousins, my naughty little 3 year old has several fewer good Catholic prospects for marriage. So I'm depressed about that. Second, I'm about to have TWO boys, and no one knows better than you how filthy and disgusting little boys are!

  10. Well, truth be told, I'm not that green and this could be a starting point.

    We will hopefully find out this week if we get the house and i could put hay beauty of a bar of soap in the guest bathroom for all my guest to see just how green i am! ;) It's all about keeping up my GO GREEN appearances, ya know?!

    I will post a picture of the proof of the proudly displayed soap on my blog when that time comes.

    Man...those soap makers are awesome, Al Gore would be so proud!

  11. Dear Leila,

    While I find all of the previous arguments compelling (particularly Megan's and Kaitlin's), I am going to submit some irrefutable evidence which will document my need for this waste-reducing exfoliating body cleanser. Following the links will make it plainly apparent how desperately I need this soap.

    1) My husband has problems, as evidenced by the photo. He leaves his holes. That's right, Leila. HE LEAVES HIS HOLES! In plain sight! Not only is this wasteful and damaging to the environment, but it is also damaging to our marriage, given that I am forced to either use the holes myself or risk environmentalist-protest if I throw them away.


    2) I have 2 kids, both of whom come with some serious body fluids/excrement. With all of the diaper-changing, bottom-wiping, and spit-up-containing that I do each day, it is inevitable that I will end up with some on me. Having a "holey" soap to wash with will remind me that this mothering profession and homemaking calling is a "holy" one, indeed.


    3) Now that we've switched to cloth diapers at our home, my green revolution is really picking up steam. Yet, my bar soap is lagging behind! How am I supposed to create a fully-green household when I'm still using soap that INCLUDES THE HOLE? It's a disgrace, I tell you. An absolute disgrace.


    4) You've seen a recent photo of my kids-- you know how cute they are. Don't do it for me, Leila. Do it for the children. THE CHILDREN! (Horton Hears a Who movie reference... BEST movie for kids AND parents, in my opinion)

    http://psalm34-3.blogspot.com/2009/08/oh-calm-down.html (old post of Lauren's, but it gives you a reminder...)

    You see this: 0?

    That's the hole in my life that can only be filled by soap with a hole in it.

    Leila, I humbly submit all of this evidence as proof that I NEED the soap.

  12. Ohhhh, if I didn't already have one, the fun I would have writing the MOST guilt-inducing comment EVER right now!

    Wait, why should that stop me?

    So, basically, I need the soap because it is the only reason why I get up in the morning. I am not a mother, am not pregnant, have never been pregnant, and cannot adopt. I may very well be THE most pathetic and hopeless person in your bubble. I live with my in-laws, my DH has a job that doesn't pay him, and despite various degrees and certifications, I can only manage to pull in part-time jobs that are way beneath my training level.

    But with this soap, this HOLEY, holy soap, I could start AFRESH in every sense of the word. I could wash myself like a liberal, and then begin to feel the effects of that liberal cleanliness.

    Suddenly, my life would have new meaning!! I would be OVERJOYED to be yet another DINK (dual-income no kids) couple, because really, who needs kids when you have money and a real life?? Kids are dirty, loud, obnoxious creatures who ruin our mother Earth. I would clearly see that living with my in-laws, not paying rent, and working part-time puts me in the PERFECT position to start taking advantage of welfare!! I may even quit my job and start looking into food stamps, because the gas required to bring me to work would just be wasteful and unnecessary.

    Finally, I may just be so inspired to pick up my remaining soap (of which there is sure to be PLENTY) and move to Africa to devote the rest of my life to washing genitals with it. I would divorce my husband but continue living with him, and I would be a worldly inspiration.

  13. Leila, I've been working so hard on being more holey...

  14. I hadn't heard the story of this crazy soap before, so I had to go see what you were talking about. First of all, whoever said you had to throw away the center of the soap? We never got to growing up! I remember having to use up all the soap fragments. Second of all, you can't tell me that their packaging is as green as can be when they do the extra to show the hole in the package. And if you have another bar of soap with more packaging, then green is right out the window!

    I guess I didn't have a good reason to win it, I just had to rant since I missed an earlier opportunity! :)

  15. Goodness, Leila. How are you going to decide with all these answers? I have promised my soap a couple of times in bets, but I still have it for now.

  16. hey now, wait a minute...after reading what CM said, I really think she's on to something --- do they WASTE that little circle in the packaging???(the one they cut out so you can see the shape of the soap) what happens to it?! where does it go?!

    I need more time to develop my plea for the soap. Hopefully I'll be back later :) If I don't make it, I vote for Megan, her response is right-on!

  17. Since I can't be an "Obama-Mama," I feel that the liberal holey soap would help to fill that void in my life. After all, isn't that the purpose of something liberal?? To make everyone or everything feel good and get exactly what they want, when they want it and with lots of warm fuzzies attached?? Yep, I think so! I'll send you my address. :)

  18. I am not going to ask for the soap for myself. I would like for you to give it to Jenny from all things for 3 reasons:

    1. I love my wife and her getting the soap would make her happy.

    2. She puts up with my cat. I think everyone knows what a sacrifice that is for her.

    3. If you give her the soap she is likely to do a post singing your praises.

  19. I am not going to ask for the soap for myself. I would like for you to give it to Jenny from all things for 3 reasons:

    1. I love my wife and her getting the soap would make her happy.

    2. She puts up with my cat. I think everyone knows what a sacrifice that is for her.

    3. If you give her the soap she is likely to do a post singing your praises.

  20. Did you see that I published my comment twice? That's how badly I want Jenny to have the soap!

  21. I'm nervous because I really do want this soap. It's the Oscar of my blog world... That beautiful toilet-seat-shaped-soap statue..
    Alright. Here goes.

    I believe that I should get the soap because my husband and I met on CatholicMatch.com and you LOVE Catholic Singles "Matching" so we should be your favorites!!!

  22. I know I've already written why I deserve the soap, I just thought I'd pop back in and say a quick little something (completely unrelated to this whole silly soap thing! ;)):

    You are awesome.
    You are great.
    You are pretty darn cool.
    You rock.
    Have I mentioned how awesome you are?!

    That is all! :)

  23. I need the soap because after April, I'll be watching 3 kids under 1 year old by myself (my little one due in April, the little boy I nanny for born this July and his new brother or sister due in December). I'll be so tired that I'll need to have the holey soap since it has a hole to make it easier to hold. I definitely won't have the energy to exfoliate separately.

  24. Ooooh, I think mrsblondies lied. A baby born this July and another due in December? How is that possible?
    And even if she's not lying... everyone knows a REAL liberal would never be caught dead with more than 2 kids under their care.


  25. I actually find this soap a very smart, somewhat witty and amusing design/concept. Oh wait! that's because I'm a liberal! (eeeks!) ha ha ha! :) and I find it very funny that one of you will be "awash in liberalism" soon, so to speak! : 0

  26. All right... I am seriously impressed with the submissions so far. I will give it just a bit more time, to give everyone a chance. I can tell you it is agony trying to make this decision. I don't think I will sleep tonight....

  27. If you give this gift of
    holey-ness to me, will give it back to you. THAT is true friendship!

  28. Leila, I am always asking God for oppps for humility... try a typo at 1 am. UGH. Thank you, Lord.
    Let's try this again:

    If you give this gift of
    "holey-ness" to me, I will give it back to you! THAT is true friendship!

  29. Well, and another thing...you did tell me recently my life would be complete to actual have the holey soap...so I am just saying.

    Because really, St. Therese tells us time and time again how sanctity is gained little by little, and her little way was very beautiful. So my comment about not deserving the little soap is very true, because although I do not deserve the soap, it would help me me to achieve holiness and bodily harmony...little by little.

    St. Therese, pray for us!

  30. Um, I will not make a case because FI will just throw a fit if he marries a woman who owns green soap lol. For his sake, I will allow others to enjoy this earth-friendly cleanser.

  31. OK, everyone... back down because I'm about to win this soap.


    I just came home from the grocery store. After walking in the door, I noticed a smell. Not a good smell. A very BAD smell. However, as both dogs were still penned in the kitchen with bar stools (the gate broke the other day), I assumed one of the had just... passed gas.

    I cut my beautiful autumn bouquet, put it in a vase of water, and placed it on the mantel, then stepped back to admire my flowers.

    SQUISH. Oh yes, friend, I stepped in dog mess. As I put my other foot back to get off the ORIENTAL RUG, SQUISH. Another one. Thus, with both feet covered in you-know-what, I hobbled on my heels off the rug, still managing to make a complete mess of the rug my infant son crawls on.

    I need the soap, Leila. NOW. What better than a holey liberal soap to deal with a bunch of s&%t? :-)

  32. I feel that I should also mention that the offending dog is a lab/doberman cross, so this was no teacup poodle poop, and also that I wrote the last comment while I was waiting for the Resolve to work on the rug and looking up a Oriental rug carpet cleaner in our area. I mean business with this soap contest.

  33. LIsa, oh my!! That is compelling! I think you need to do a whole blog post just on that experience.... I really have to ponder, though, whether exfoliation is called for in this particular situation? Hmmmm.....

  34. THESE WERE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!! Going to read the answers now!!! Lisa-I can't believe you included photo evidence! HA HA HA!


PLEASE, when commenting, do not hit "reply" (which is the thread option). Instead, please put your comment at the bottom of the others.

To ensure that you don't miss any comments, click the "subscribe by email" link, above. If you do not subscribe and a post exceeds 200 comments, you must hit "load more" to get to the rest.