My personal favorites from Pope Francis' visit to America!

Just a quick rundown of the things that struck me the most during the Holy Father's recent visit to America, in no particular order...

The sheer joy (and tears) he brought with simple acts of love and kindness:

Underneath this video on Facebook, the comments were extraordinary, including these:

From a Muslim commenter -- "Pope Francis makes me believe in humanity."

From a secular commenter -- "I am not a religious person but i have so much respect and admiration for this pope. He is doing so much good in this world. You can tell he truly cares about people and has an amazing heart. If there is a god, this is exactly the kind of person who should represent him."


And who could not be moved by this woman's reaction to seeing the pope? Fourteen years ago, she was a first-hand witness to the devastation of 9/11, and she has been searching for hope ever since:

The Vicar of Christ's job description is to restore hope to a weary world.


How heartening was Pope Francis' unscheduled stop to visit and support the Little Sisters of the Poor, who are embroiled in a lawsuit against the Obama administration, fighting for religious liberty and conscience rights!

Pope Visits US Nuns Involved in 
Obamacare Contraception Lawsuit

Those who would say that gay marriage laws trump rights of conscience might want to know what the pope had to say about that when questioned by reporters on a flight:

...conscientious objection is a right that is a part of every human right. It is a right. And if a person does not allow others to be a conscientious objector, he denies a right." 

Francis added: "Conscientious objection must enter into every juridical structure because it is a right, a human right. Otherwise we would end up in a situation where we select what is a right, saying, 'this right has merit, this one does not.'" 

Asked if this principle applied to government officials carrying out their duties, he replied: "It is a human right and if a government official is a human person, he has that right. It is a human right."

Is anyone listening? Obama?

UPDATE! Check this out:

Kim Davis Had Secret Meeting With Pope Francis

(And he told her to "stay strong!")

And in the "Funniest and Weirdest Thing I've Seen in a Long Time" category:

The Congressman Who Stole the Pope's Water Glass 

and Drank From It 

Take note that this Congressman and the other Democrat he called over are Catholics who proudly support the evil of abortion. Perhaps their "thirst" for something holy, as misguided as it was, is a sign that they might one day turn back to Christ and Truth? Someone should tell them that the Sacrament of Confession, rather than thievery, would be a better way to cleanse their souls.


My nephew in New York waited outside for four hours to get into Madison Square Garden for the pope's mass, and he texted me after:

Mass was amazing! I've never seen so many people packed in the streets -- even for New York -- or someone so wildly popular. It was an incredible experience. You would never guess that New York was secular and liberal based on the reception haha 

Oh yes, the dying, irrelevant, out-of-touch Catholic Church, led by an old, celibate white man had secular New York City electrified and cheering! Go figure. ;)


And oh wasn't it beautiful, during the Festival of Families in Philadelphia, when several international Catholic families greeted the Pope and told their stories! The Jordanian family who has endured real persecution for Christ; the Nigerian wife and mother who poured out her painful and incredible story of faithfulness; St. Gianna Molla's own daughter reading a love letter from her mother to her father, Pietro, written just days before they married, then the saint's daughter embracing the Holy Father!

Too many other incredible moments to mention, but all so affirming of families, of our Faith, and of the universality of the Church. We are blessed, and everyone is invited to join us!

Now, as for commentary, this is my favorite. So many Catholics and non-Catholics have their reasons for loving Pope Francis, but also their reasons for criticizing him for what he did or did not do. Dr. Gerard Nadal, a pro-life and pro-marriage warrior of many years, said it best:

[Some traditionalist Catholics] paint a picture of a pope who has ignored the red meat issues of American Catholicism’s troubles in favor of a left-wing socio-political agenda. How do you solve a problem like Francis? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? (Cue the Sound of Music) 

But as this papacy has unfolded, something about traditionalists’ complaints over Francis calls attention back on the traditionalists and their hero popes, John Paul II and Benedict XVI. In thirty-five years of these two giant popes, we have witnessed all of the heavy-lifting both philosophically and theologically on the sexual revolution and the decline of the status of human persons in the twentieth century. We’ll be unpacking their writing for decades to come. As western civilization has crumbled, we clamor for more writing, more words, more defense of the sacred. And we get to the point where this author needs to ask, “What more needs to be said?” How many more words? How many more documents? How many more encyclicals? How many more speeches, homilies, press conferences?

Read the whole thing, here:

Oh, Francis...

And if some of you are still bothered by what you perceive to be Francis' "silence" on the issue of abortion, why did Planned Parenthood get so upset with him? They heard him loud and clear. Don't we hear him, too?

And as for marriage, what about this?

And this?

Needless to say, our understanding, shaped by the interplay of ecclesial faith and the conjugal experience of sacramental grace, must not lead us to disregard the unprecedented changes taking place in contemporary society, with their social, cultural – and now, unfortunately juridical – effects on family bonds. These changes affect all of us, believers and non-believers alike. Christians are not “immune” to the changes of their times. This concrete world, with all its many problems and possibilities, is where we must live, believe and proclaim. 

Until recently, we lived in a social context where the similarities between the civil institution of marriage and the Christian sacrament were considerable and shared. The two were interrelated and mutually supportive. This is no longer the case.

And, if there was any doubt about the Pope's very reason for visiting America, he cleared that up when he said to the US Bishops:

“I appreciate the unfailing commitment of the Church in America to the cause of life and that of the family, which is the primary reason for my present visit.”

Can anyone be unsure of what he meant?


Finally, our Papa is fully aware of the crisis of young people who are forgoing marriage and family. In perhaps my favorite passage from his trip, Pope Francis asks pastors, in his address to bishops from around the world, to invite young people to choose marriage and family over the "culture of discouragement":

Many young people, in the context of this culture of discouragement, have yielded to a form of unconscious acquiescence. They are paralyzed when they encounter the beautiful, noble and truly necessary challenges which faith sets before them. Many put off marriage while waiting for ideal conditions, when everything can be perfect. Meanwhile, life goes on, without really being lived to the full. For knowledge of life’s true pleasures only comes as the fruit of a long-term, generous investment of our intelligence, enthusiasm and passion. 

...[W]e are living in a culture that convinces and pushes young people toward not founding a family. Some because of a lack of material resources and others because they have so many resources that they are very comfortable as they are. And this is the temptation: to not found a family. 

[We must extend] a sincere invitation to young people to be brave and to opt for marriage and the family.... We have to make young people excited about taking this risk, because this is a risk for fecundity and life.... 

...A pastor must show that the “Gospel of the family” is truly “good news” in a world where self-concern seems to reign supreme! We are not speaking about some romantic dream: the perseverance which is called for in having a family and raising it transforms the world and human history.

There is so much more from his trip to America that I missed! I want to find a way (and time) to go back and watch all the footage, every event and homily, and yet I'm pretty sure I won't be able to. At least I have these highlights, and I'd love to hear yours!

PS: The US Bishops have pretty much every event and homily and speech right here on their site.

Pope Francis' closing statement to the Synod. Worth the read!

Originally posted by Rodrigo Guerra López. Thank you!

Pope Francis at the conclusion of the 

Extraordinary Synod on the Family

October 18, 2014

Dear Eminences, Beatitudes, Excellencies, Brothers and Sisters,

With a heart full of appreciation and gratitude I want to thank, along with you, the Lord who has accompanied and guided us in the past days, with the light of the Holy Spirit.

From the heart I thank Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri, Secretary General of the Synod, Bishop Fabio Fabene, under-secretary, and with them I thank the Relators, Cardinal Peter Erdo, who has worked so much in these days of family mourning, and the Special Secretary Bishop Bruno Forte, the three President delegates, the transcribers, the consultors, the translators and the unknown workers, all those who have worked with true fidelity and total dedication behind the scenes and without rest. Thank you so much from the heart.

I thank all of you as well, dear Synod fathers, Fraternal Delegates, Auditors, and Assessors, for your active and fruitful participation. I will keep you in prayer asking the Lord to reward you with the abundance of His gifts of grace!

I can happily say that – with a spirit of collegiality and of synodality – we have truly lived the experience of “Synod,” a path of solidarity, a “journey together.”

And it has been “a journey” – and like every journey there were moments of running fast, as if wanting to conquer time and reach the goal as soon as possible; other moments of fatigue, as if wanting to say “enough”; other moments of enthusiasm and ardour. There were moments of profound consolation listening to the testimony of true pastors, who wisely carry in their hearts the joys and the tears of their faithful people. Moments of consolation and grace and comfort hearing the testimonies of the families who have participated in the Synod and have shared with us the beauty and the joy of their married life. A journey where the stronger feel compelled to help the less strong, where the more experienced are led to serve others, even through confrontations. And since it is a journey of human beings, with the consolations there were also moments of desolation, of tensions and temptations, of which a few possibilities could be mentioned:

- One, a temptation to hostile inflexibility, that is, wanting to close oneself within the written word, (the letter) and not allowing oneself to be surprised by God, by the God of surprises, (the spirit); within the law, within the certitude of what we know and not of what we still need to learn and to achieve. From the time of Christ, it is the temptation of the zealous, of the scrupulous, of the solicitous and of the so-called – today – “traditionalists” and also of the intellectuals.

- The temptation to a destructive tendency to goodness [it. buonismo], that in the name of a deceptive mercy binds the wounds without first curing them and treating them; that treats the symptoms and not the causes and the roots. It is the temptation of the “do-gooders,” of the fearful, and also of the so-called “progressives and liberals.”

- The temptation to transform stones into bread to break the long, heavy, and painful fast (cf. Lk 4:1-4); and also to transform the bread into a stone and cast it against the sinners, the weak, and the sick (cf Jn 8:7), that is, to transform it into unbearable burdens (Lk 11:46).

- The temptation to come down off the Cross, to please the people, and not stay there, in order to fulfil the will of the Father; to bow down to a worldly spirit instead of purifying it and bending it to the Spirit of God.

- The temptation to neglect the “depositum fidei” [the deposit of faith], not thinking of themselves as guardians but as owners or masters [of it]; or, on the other hand, the temptation to neglect reality, making use of meticulous language and a language of smoothing to say so many things and to say nothing! They call them “byzantinisms,” I think, these things…

Dear brothers and sisters, the temptations must not frighten or disconcert us, or even discourage us, because no disciple is greater than his master; so if Jesus Himself was tempted – and even called Beelzebul (cf. Mt 12:24) – His disciples should not expect better treatment.

Personally I would be very worried and saddened if it were not for these temptations and these animated discussions; this movement of the spirits, as St Ignatius called it (Spiritual Exercises, 6), if all were in a state of agreement, or silent in a false and quietist peace. Instead, I have seen and I have heard – with joy and appreciation – speeches and interventions full of faith, of pastoral and doctrinal zeal, of wisdom, of frankness and of courage: and of parresia. And I have felt that what was set before our eyes was the good of the Church, of families, and the “supreme law,” the “good of souls” (cf. Can. 1752). And this always – we have said it here, in the Hall – without ever putting into question the fundamental truths of the Sacrament of marriage: the indissolubility, the unity, the faithfulness, the fruitfulness, that openness to life (cf. Cann. 1055, 1056; and Gaudium et spes, 48).

And this is the Church, the vineyard of the Lord, the fertile Mother and the caring Teacher, who is not afraid to roll up her sleeves to pour oil and wine on people’s wound; who doesn’t see humanity as a house of glass to judge or categorize people. This is the Church, One, Holy, Catholic, Apostolic and composed of sinners, needful of God’s mercy. This is the Church, the true bride of Christ, who seeks to be faithful to her spouse and to her doctrine. It is the Church that is not afraid to eat and drink with prostitutes and publicans. The Church that has the doors wide open to receive the needy, the penitent, and not only the just or those who believe they are perfect! The Church that is not ashamed of the fallen brother and pretends not to see him, but on the contrary feels involved and almost obliged to lift him up and to encourage him to take up the journey again and accompany him toward a definitive encounter with her Spouse, in the heavenly Jerusalem.

This is the Church, our Mother! And when the Church, in the variety of her charisms, expresses herself in communion, she cannot err: it is the beauty and the strength of the sensus fidei, of that supernatural sense of the faith which is bestowed by the Holy Spirit so that, together, we can all enter into the heart of the Gospel and learn to follow Jesus in our life. And this should never be seen as a source of confusion and discord.

Many commentators, or people who talk, have imagined that they see a disputatious Church where one part is against the other, doubting even the Holy Spirit, the true promoter and guarantor of the unity and harmony of the Church – the Holy Spirit who throughout history has always guided the barque, through her Ministers, even when the sea was rough and choppy, and the ministers unfaithful and sinners.

And, as I have dared to tell you , [as] I told you from the beginning of the Synod, it was necessary to live through all this with tranquillity, and with interior peace, so that the Synod would take place cum Petro and sub Petro (with Peter and under Peter), and the presence of the Pope is the guarantee of it all.

We will speak a little bit about the Pope, now, in relation to the Bishops [laughing]. So, the duty of the Pope is that of guaranteeing the unity of the Church; it is that of reminding the faithful of their duty to faithfully follow the Gospel of Christ; it is that of reminding the pastors that their first duty is to nourish the flock – to nourish the flock – that the Lord has entrusted to them, and to seek to welcome – with fatherly care and mercy, and without false fears – the lost sheep. I made a mistake here. I said welcome: [rather] to go out and find them.

His duty is to remind everyone that authority in the Church is a service, as Pope Benedict XVI clearly explained, with words I cite verbatim: “The Church is called and commits herself to exercise this kind of authority which is service and exercises it not in her own name, but in the name of Jesus Christ… through the Pastors of the Church, in fact: it is he who guides, protects and corrects them, because he loves them deeply. But the Lord Jesus, the supreme Shepherd of our souls, has willed that the Apostolic College, today the Bishops, in communion with the Successor of Peter… to participate in his mission of taking care of God's People, of educating them in the faith and of guiding, inspiring and sustaining the Christian community, or, as the Council puts it, ‘to see to it... that each member of the faithful shall be led in the Holy Spirit to the full development of his own vocation in accordance with Gospel preaching, and to sincere and active charity’ and to exercise that liberty with which Christ has set us free (cf. Presbyterorum Ordinis, 6)… and it is through us,” Pope Benedict continues, “that the Lord reaches souls, instructs, guards and guides them. St Augustine, in his Commentary on the Gospel of St John, says: ‘let it therefore be a commitment of love to feed the flock of the Lord’ (cf. 123, 5); this is the supreme rule of conduct for the ministers of God, an unconditional love, like that of the Good Shepherd, full of joy, given to all, attentive to those close to us and solicitous for those who are distant (cf. St Augustine, Discourse 340, 1; Discourse 46, 15), gentle towards the weakest, the little ones, the simple, the sinners, to manifest the infinite mercy of God with the reassuring words of hope (cf. ibid., Epistle, 95, 1).”

So, the Church is Christ’s – she is His bride – and all the bishops, in communion with the Successor of Peter, have the task and the duty of guarding her and serving her, not as masters but as servants. The Pope, in this context, is not the supreme lord but rather the supreme servant – the “servant of the servants of God”; the guarantor of the obedience and the conformity of the Church to the will of God, to the Gospel of Christ, and to the Tradition of the Church, putting aside every personal whim, despite being – by the will of Christ Himself – the “supreme Pastor and Teacher of all the faithful” (Can. 749) and despite enjoying “supreme, full, immediate, and universal ordinary power in the Church” (cf. Cann. 331-334).

Dear brothers and sisters, now we still have one year to mature, with true spiritual discernment, the proposed ideas and to find concrete solutions to so many difficulties and innumerable challenges that families must confront; to give answers to the many discouragements that surround and suffocate families.

One year to work on the “Synodal Relatio” which is the faithful and clear summary of everything that has been said and discussed in this hall and in the small groups. It is presented to the Episcopal Conferences as “lineamenta” [guidelines].

May the Lord accompany us, and guide us in this journey for the glory of His Name, with the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of Saint Joseph. And please, do not forget to pray for me! Thank you!

Quick Takes: More life updates....

-1-

So many life changes lately (you're going to want to read #4), but one that has left me heartbroken is the closing of my younger kids' little Catholic school. We were like family, and now we will all be scattered. I can't even really talk about it.

Surveying all my options, I've decided that beginning next month I will be doing what I said I'd never do again...homeschooling! And you know what? I'm actually getting pretty excited about it! I always say, I can do anything for a year. So, one year at a time, and we'll see what God has in store as we go along.

I will be using Catholic Heritage Curricula, if anyone wants to know. It is clean and simple, which is just my style.

-2-

This fall was to be the first time in 23 years that I would have had no one in the house during the day. I'm not gonna lie; I was looking forward to those many hours alone. Instead, I will have more people in the house than I did last year, and right as I am starting a masters degree program! I dreamed of a quiet, empty house to get my work done and papers written (instead of typing away at night, like I'm doing now, and never getting quite enough sleep). I even dreamed I'd have tons more time for blogging. Ha ha, I am just laughing at God's funny ways. Okay, God, I am sure you know what you are doing! Jesus, I trust in you.

-3-

About five months ago now, my daughter's fiancé (now husband) injured his back. It's been a terrible ordeal, which brought with it a change in his Navy orders among other things. He was able to get through the wedding last month with grit and grace and a transcendent joy, but soon he will be undergoing back surgery to relieve his pain, as months of physical therapy has not done the trick. Would you wonderful people offer a quick prayer for him, his surgeons, and his new bride? We would be most appreciative!

-4-

Aaaaaaaand, since it's already Facebook official, I am ecstatic to announce that the newlyweds are... drum roll, drum roll, can you guess?? ...expecting a baby!!!!!!

YES, I am over the moon, and so are they! And yes it was very quick, just like her older sister, who also conceived a honeymoon baby! I guess it's a tag team thing? Older daughter gets married; nine months later, younger daughter gets married. Older daughter has a baby; nine months later younger daughter has a baby. Thank you for prayers, and for sharing in our joy! It's been a whirlwind of emotions and I am still trying to catch my breath! Thanks be to God for all of it. Including...

-5-

...this:

Here's what I said on Facebook:

The girls' room now stands stripped and mostly empty. Soon to be transformed into a guestroom. My feelings alternate between melancholy and anticipation. It occurs to me that that is the state of every soul as we work our way through this world to the next, no?

In the end, everything really is theological. And it all has meaning at the level of our souls. I am going to miss my daughters terribly. Neither one will be living within driving distance. But there can be found great joy in suffering. It's what we know as Catholics, it's what the saints have taught us, and it makes everything okay.

-6-

Johanne requested more pictures of my adorable and perfect granddaughter Felicity, so here are a few....

She was still pretty skinny and new here, Little Miss Frog Legs, 

being held by one of her many proud uncles!

"Back off, paparazzi!" 

(She was actually sleeping in this suspended animation. Or else she is a mime.)

Hey, what's wrong with a cardigan in July in Phoenix? 

She'll outgrow it by fall, and it's just too cute not to wear.

Wait... you wanted a photo with her eyes open? 

It's tough to get, but here you go. 

She's at her first girls' lunch! 

Isn't she a sweetie pie and the best baby in the world??????? Grandma thinks so!!!

-7-

As many of you know, I reserve Quick Take #7 for the promotion of adoption, mostly special needs and international adoption. Today I want to share with you an amazing series of blog posts by a huge friend of the Bubble (and now a personal friend), Annie, who is in China adopting two precious babies. 

She writes beautifully, her descriptions of the regions are riveting, and her photographs are so good that I will be using them with my children for homeschooling. Check it out, and praise God! Infertility is a heartbreak beyond words, and yet look at what the Lord has done for this beautiful family of (now) seven:

Enlarge Thy Tent

(You didn't miss the centipedes on a stick, did you??)

+++++++

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my first on-time Friday Quick Takes in I don't know how long! Have a great weekend, and thanks to Jen for hosting! 

This one's for you, Grandpa! Merry Christmas!

This post is personal.  It's for me, and it's for my late maternal grandpa, Al Thomas.

My mother had wonderful parents -- a Protestant mom and a Catholic dad. Their three daughters were raised Protestant (my mom, the middle child, converted to Catholicism as an adult).

Sadly, my mom's father died when I was seven years old, in December 1974. I don't remember much about Grandpa Thomas, as we lived in different states, but all the memories I have of him are good ones. He was a loving, gentle man.

Once I came fully into my Catholic Faith, I felt a new closeness to my late grandpa. I began to appreciate that he was not just any old Catholic, but a Catholic after my own heart. He helped physically build the current St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Medina, Ohio; he was a devotee of Archbishop Fulton Sheen; he delighted in great spiritual books (some of which I now possess from his library); and he wrote a local newspaper column which often touched on issues of faith. He was also a lover of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, a faithful Mass-goer and a frequent daily communicant until his untimely death from cancer at age 55.

Grandpa's Catholic identity was not of any real interest to me until 21 years after his death. Now, I think of him as a kindred spirit: Both of us writers, both of us with newspaper columns, both of us desiring to grow ever deeper in the Catholic Faith we love. I have no doubt that his prayers from Heaven were instrumental in bringing me back to the fullness of the Church. I truly love the man I hardly knew, and I cannot wait to meet him again one day.

In his honor, I reprint this column that he wrote for the Medina County Gazette in 1972, 38 Decembers ago:

"Doubting Thomas" 

[The name of his column]

Christmas: Thrilling or Monotonous?


"I hate Christmas," the fellow grumbled. "Same old story. Shopping, parties, drinking, and those old songs in the department stores."


Well, one must concede it's the same old story. The tale of a young girl giving birth in a cave-stable in Palestine some two thousand years ago. Then, there was the star, the shepherds and the wise men. That's about all.


And yet the excitement of that monotony, seemingly a contradiction in terms, has endured for those two thousand years, undiminished in its dramatic impact and its spiritual influence. And millions of us experience the spine-tingling sense of inner joy as we listen to the joyful strains of the angelic message of the arrival of the Messiah.


What great story ever lost anything in the re-telling?


What reader ever gets tired of the re-telling of the Dickens' tale of Sydney Carton dying on the scaffold for his friend, Charles Darnay? "Tis a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done...."


What lover has not thrilled at Romeo's "It is the East, and Juliet is the sun"? Or lamented with with Hamlet's "taking up arms against the sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep..."?


Does not the dream of a bright, vibrant "Camelot" continue to thrill and inspire? Do not the exploits of Hannibal, Napoleon and the courage of Joan of Arc still excite the imagination, in spite of 1,000 re-tellings?


Tell the children the tale of Cinderella or the Wizard of Oz, and not a tot will complain, "Oh, I've heard that before; tell me another story."


Even God is repetitious, with his constant re-creating of the rose, the tree, the green grass, the rain, the gentle breezes of spring and the other endless beauties and surprises of nature.


So, why the surprise or downgrading of the most profound, and the most simple tale of all ages?


Even without its spiritual implications to billions of Christians throughout two millennia of the world's history, the story of Jesus, Mary and Joseph would still stir the soul of anyone with a jot of emotion, sensitivity or tenderness.


Just imagine a chilly Palestinian night, with one bright star, overshadowing all others. And three wise men trudging from the East, and crude, unlettered shepherds descending the hills on which their docile sheep grazed and dozed.


And what did they find in that rough-hewn stable but a peasant Jewish girl who had just given birth to a squirming baby boy?


A few animals breathing mists of warmth into the make-shift crib; a harried Joseph stroking up a glimmering fire at the mouth of the cave; a few passers-by, on their way to the Inn which rejected immortality and exchanged it for wine and ribaldry and the barrenness of frivolity on that first Christmas night.


The same old story? Certainly. Just as it will be 1,000 years hence. The most exciting, poignant and profound tale ever told.

Merry Christmas, Grandpa! You are loved and missed!

Some days...

.... I just can't believe that this girl is my daughter. With the highly imperfect way that I parented her, I am not worthy of how she has turned out.

Thank you, Lord.

Is having eight kids "sketchy"?

For many reasons, I don't normally talk about my family on this blog. I'm making an exception today. 

During the Big Blog Blow-up of 2010, there were many comments left on many different blogs, some of which were about me. I thought I would address one that caught my attention.

It went like this:

Personally, I think having 8 kids is sketchy - how do you really mother/father each one? How do you give each one the love and attention they deserve to become well-adjusted adults? Or is it just some sick tally to show the world how full of a family you can have/juggle? However, MY belief is just that - MINE. And I still love the Duggars, as completely different as they are from me! (Ha ha!) God loves our children, ALL of them. 

As I know there are many Americans who echo her feelings, I want to address her points, one at a time.

Here we go:

"Personally, I think having 8 kids is sketchy"

Sketchy. Just to be sure, I looked up the word in the Urban Dictionary and came up with some definitions that might possibly apply here:

-- Someone or something that just isn't right

-- Something unsafe 

-- Someone or something that gives off a bad feeling

-- Questionable

-- Creepy

-- Not kosher

-- Just generally something or someone that you don't want to be associated with

So, a happily married couple with a bunch of kids is... [fill in the blank with one of the above]. Ouch! Really?

Big families used to be seen as a blessing, a good, attractive, fun, warm fuzzy thing, a picture of hearth and home. Now, thanks to our Planned Parenthood societal ethic, a traditional, large, intact American family is seen as...sketchy. We've fallen a long way in a short amount of time. I actually find that so sad.

"[H]ow do you really mother/father each one?" 

This question is kind of vague. If you are talking about the practical matters, think of it this way: How does someone take care of a bigger house as opposed to a smaller one? Or, how does someone take care of a bigger garden as opposed to a smaller one? Et cetera. It's really just a matter of shaking off the things that are not as important and doing what needs to be done. The essentials of a happy life are pretty simple, actually.

"How do you give each one the love and attention they deserve to become well-adjusted adults?"

Your question implies that children in big families are at higher risk of being maladjusted adults. It begs the question: Is there a real correlation between family size and a happy, productive adulthood? Are the generally smaller families of today doing a better job raising children than the larger families of past generations? Personally, I don't find that today's young adults are any more functional, mature, honorable or virtuous than those of the past. I'm not blaming that on smaller families, because I don't believe that the number of children per family is the issue at all -- family size is no indication of one's virtue, functionality or success.

As far as love and attention, I'll answer with one of my favorite quotes: "Anyone who says you can't love your eighth child as much as your first has never had eight children." If my children are starved for love and attention, it's hard to understand why every one of them (except the baby, who cannot yet talk) desires and repeatedly requests another sibling.

As an experiment, I emailed the quote to my oldest child, who is away at college. I didn't prompt her or tell her where the quote came from. I only wrote, "Tell me what you think." She had no idea this was for the blog when she wrote her response, which came within minutes. Please remember, this is an unfiltered, honest response to what could be seen as an attack on the family she loves:

Excuse me???? Who said this???? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. I tend to think I get too much attention sometimes, seeing how I get attention from 9 other people rather than just 2 parents. This is just ridiculous...and how does one become a "well-adjusted" adult with mommy and daddy giving them every single bit of their attention to them??? What the heck???

Intrigued, I decided continued the experiment with the next four children as they returned from school and activities. None of them knew that the others had seen the quote, nor did they know where it came from. I asked each privately, "What do you think?" 

First, my twelve-year-old son:

That's stupid! It's really not that hard to raise eight kids. It's not as hard as it seems! {Okay, I laughed internally at that part!} It would be more fun to have even more kids. More kids makes it more fun.

Next, my sixteen-year-old daughter:

I think it's ridiculous. I think it's the most stupid thing I have ever read in my life, because it's so not true!   

Then, my seventeen-year-old son: 

Wow, that is totally uninformed. I mean, how many siblings did this person have? Was he or she an only child? It's not as hard as it sounds, really. {I was surprised that two of my boys said this!} I mean, if you have parents that were raised well.

Finally, my ten-year-old son:

{His jaw dropped open as he read.} Ohhh....Is this a joke? {I tell him no, then ask again what he thinks of it.} I hate it! I just don't like it! It's obnoxious! Who is this lady? She's wrong! {He also volunteers to physically defend his family, but I will leave that part out, ha!}

(I would ask the three youngest children, but thankfully they wouldn't even understand such a statement. And, they are too busy playing with each other.) 

"Or is it just some sick tally to show the world how full of a family you can have/juggle?" 

If were trying to impress the world with a "tally" of something, it wouldn't be children. It would be cars, or houses, or career promotions, or vacations...anything but children. Having many children is worthy of scorn these days, as I daresay your comment illustrates. 

"However, MY belief is just that - MINE."

Quite true, but it's a mindset that is held by many others, so I appreciate the chance to address it. (And since it sounds so similar to the "your truth/my truth" issue, I will take the opportunity to direct readers here.)

"And I still love the Duggars, as completely different as they are from me! (Ha ha!)"

I love them too! But I'm interested to know how they escape your judgement, since their "sick tally" of juggled kids is more than twice the number of mine?

"God loves our children, ALL of them."

Amen! There's something we can totally agree on! 

Now here's something you don't see every day...*UPDATED*

Hmmmmm, so a day in the life around here. My eighteen-year-old daughter approaches me with a simple "Um.... Mom?" holding the following in her hand:

Yes, that is a ballpoint pen stuck in the decapitated neck of a holy statue of St. Jude. A tad shocking, no? Not the normal way we expect to see our sacred images. :)

Just another day with several young boys in the house.

I can't be sure who did it, and I am sure it was an accident, because aside from the toddler, they actually do understand that they are not to deface religious items, even cheap resin ones! I promise, one of them will be a priest someday. That's mandatory now, just to make up for the sacrilege!

I know that many of you bloggers are dreaming of the day when you will have dirty houses, toys strewn about, messy diapers and spills, and I know that day will come for all of you. (I know it because I am offering up my dirty house, broken toys, poopy diapers and spills for you). But for those still waiting, go forth now and behold your statues, icons and holy objects with the (temporary) joy and peace of knowing that they are intact.

Oh, and I found the head.

*Update: Just found out that St. Jude was a glow-in-the-dark. Walked into my boys' room to turn off a light and was stunned to see a glowing, headless figure in the dark, its detached head glowing at its feet. Seems a fitting end to the saga!

I HATE the Essure commercials!

The "Essure" commercials disgust me. Babies are not vermin. They are gifts.

The first time I saw an Essure commercial, I stopped and stared, not believing what I was seeing and hearing. My jaw literally dropped.

Picture this: A beautiful mom with her beautiful kids are frolicking on a sports field. Suddenly, the mother looks positively stricken! She stops, looking pale, and thinks: "What if I got PREGNANT?! Everything would CHANGE!!" She is horrified! She may faint! She may vomit! Finally, she "pushes" those evil thoughts of pregnancy away, knowing that Essure will give her "permanent birth control" and she won't ever soil her perfect family with a new baby! Whew!!!! Her smile returns! Cue the photos of the doting mom loving on her three perfect children as they skip away down the lane with dad, relieved and joyful that no more dreaded babies will ruin their perfect plan!

Cue to me looking horrified, as now I want to vomit! Really? A baby is so much vermin that would infest the perfect, small family? Our hearts are that tiny, our love that limited?

I first mentioned my disgust with this ad campaign on Facebook. I typed the following:

It's the guise of the "family and child friendly" that really gets me! As if bringing another sibling into the family is something evil! A baby as unwanted intruder set to destroy a "perfect" family. My goodness, there is no greater gift you can give your children than siblings!

I kid you not: As I typed, my fifth, sixth and seventh children were planting wet kisses on my eighth. My nine-year-old son asked, "Mom, isn't he the cutest?!" Ironic, no? Somehow, my children don't see their baby brother as a threat to their happiness or a detriment to our family. Quite the opposite!

How did we get to this low point? Commercials about babies being destructive, calamitous intruders into a marriage and family? Do the advertising geniuses not realize that they are on the one hand showcasing children as this woman's treasures and source of joy, while on the other hand suggesting that any further children are no better than an unwanted and dangerous infection against which she needs protection?

(Totally illogical. I hate illogical.)

In my last post, I lauded the incredible ladies I've met in blogland who would give anything for babies and motherhood. How painful to them must these crass and thoughtless commercials be? Although I guess when the advertised product is literally an anti-baby product, it's going to cause pain to any of us who find children to be the most precious gift that God can bestow. It hits right in the gut, the same way it did when Obama so famously talked about not wanting his daughters to be "punished with a baby." That's what we've come to.... babies as punishment, babies as the cause of ruin for a happy family.

If you haven't seen these offensive commercials (or heard them on the radio), be glad. They will make any right-thinking person sick. A few minutes ago, another one came on (TLC seems to carry them a lot), and my nine-year-old saw it (not for the first time). When I tucked him in bed and told him I loved him, I made extra sure to tell him how much I cherish him, because children are such a gift. He replied, "Mom, did you see that commercial where that mom just pushed those words away on the screen, where she was all depressed if she were pregnant, and then she was all 'Whew!' that can all go away now!" I told him I had seen it, and isn't it so sad how they portrayed pregnancy and children? He replied, "When I saw it, I was literally just glaring at the TV!"

That's my boy! He has not yet been tainted by our Planned Parenthood culture and has an instinctive, healthy aversion to the Culture of Death which surrounds him.

God protect his innocence, and God change the hearts of those who peddle Essure. I have to believe that they know not what they do.

Now that I've taken so much time thinking about those ads, I feel like I need to go take a cleansing shower. Or hug my babies. Or read the Bible which talks about children as only and always a gift, and never as something repellent or repulsive....

Sigh.