A modern day David vs. Goliath story

The most amazing, inspiring "David" I know is a thirty-something Nigerian woman. She is my hero. I do not want her to stand and fight alone.

When I published Obianuju ("Uju") Ekeocha's Open Letter to Melinda Gates and a follow-up last year, she was a stranger. Now, I call her friend. It is humbling, an honor. Not only because she is beautiful inside and out (she has more grace, humility, dignity, intelligence, and wisdom in her little pinkie than I have in my whole body), but because she is courageous in a way that should inspire the rest of us.

Sweet Uju was minding her own business, not looking for any trouble, home from a long day at the lab in England where she works as a scientist, when she happened to see Melinda Gates being interviewed on CNN, discussing her "non-controversial" project to flood Africa (and African women) with billions of dollars of contraceptive pills, injectables, and devices. It set something off inside Uju's soul, and though she wanted to, she could not remain silent. That night, she prayed a rosary and she wrote. She has not stopped writing, and speaking out, since.

Recently, on the Feast of St. Josephine Bakhita and under her patronage, Uju launched the site, Culture of Life Africa, whose mission is to

passionately preserve and promote, through good information, this Culture of Life and Civilization of Love. It's hope and commitment is to present the real image of Africa, especially that of the African woman, who is valiant in motherhood even as she is vibrant in her deep faith in God Almighty who fills her heart with splendorous light and love of life.

Our little "David" has also inspired a ground-breaking event in Nigeria: Her bishop has asked her to organize a full pro-life conference! This request understandably sent her reeling, as she has no experience in putting on such a conference, and had no idea where or how to start. Looking to America (as the pro-life stronghold in the western world), she was soon working in collaboration with our own Nicole at Mom and Then Some (president of Delaware Right to Life; wife and mommy extraordinaire). The conference is set for May 30 - June 1.

This outside help is so important, for as Uju has said: "We don't have any good pro-life advocacy in place in most African countries and so we really are not prepared at all for this move by Melinda to plant the seeds of the Culture of Death."

If you don't want Uju to stand alone to fight the Goliath bearing down, you can help with your Lenten prayers and sacrifices. And since Lent calls us to extra almsgiving as well, I will make you aware of a very important need, if this conference is to be a success:

Human Life International's Brian Clowes, a pro-life heavyweight with years of experience and expertise to impart to the Nigerian people, is set to be a speaker. But unlike the other side -- which could fly every contraception peddler and abortion pusher to Africa on private jets if desired -- there is no money for his airfare. Once (if) he gets to Africa, he will be hosted by the diocese, but they cannot afford to fly him out. Two donors have already paid for about half his flight, but we still need the other $600 to $700 that is needed to cover Mr. Clowes' ticket.

They have $4.6 BILLION.

We scramble to find a few dollars for one airline ticket.

But that's okay. We can do a lot with a little. It's how God rolls, and we expect to be the underdog. He assured us we would be.

You know what's next, dear, smart readers: If anyone feels led to contribute toward Mr. Clowes' trip to Africa, perhaps even a very small amount for Lenten almsgiving, please let me know, and I will put you in touch with Nicole. My email is littlecatholicbubble@gmail.com. I think we can do this, and I am pretty sure that any donors to this cause will be blessed beyond words!

Should there be funds that go over what is needed for the ticket, they will be used to secure a speaker from Birthright International, who will teach African citizens how to start up pregnancy resource centers for women in crisis.

Let's help our "David", our Uju, on her God-inspired (and slightly terrifying) mission, which she never in a million years expected to be on.

Pray for her.

Spread the news about Culture of Life Africa.

"Like" it on Facebook.

And pray for her beautiful continent and its beautiful people.

Oh, and by the way, you will love Uju's latest article, rebutting the critics of Pope Benedict:

Benedict's Legacy: Did he fail Africa?

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"Do you intend to speak for every African woman?"

It is the question I put to Obianuju Ekeocha after her last post ran on the Bubble, a powerful open letter to Melinda Gates that I had reprinted from Catholic Online. I was surprised and honored to receive an email from Ms. Ekeocha soon after the first post ran, which read in part:

"I just want to thank you personally for carrying on this amazing conversation (about my article) on your blog. I still cannot believe how my simple words from the heart became as the pebble thrown into a river to cause so many ripples in the blogosphere.

"In the last week I have seen some really bitter responses (understandably so considering how integral contraceptives have become in the western world). But I have also seen so many many positive and encouraging responses ... I really wish I could answer the questions that I see people asking, I really wish I could get many of my cousins and sisters and friends and aunties from home (Nigeria) to speak for themselves. I mean my article only lifts a tiny edge of the curtain to our culture of life and our perception of love and life. There is so much more that I wish I could communicate. I was thinking of making a photo album next time I go home of just women and their babies. Amidst the dust and dirt -- but happy.

"For now I just sort of feel powerless because of the inadequacy of my little article. We don't have any good pro-life advocacy in place in most African countries and so we really are not prepared at all for this move by Melinda to plant the seeds of the culture of death … Once again thank you so much for rising in defence of the dignity of the African woman."

We have been conversing ever since, and she was pleased to respond to the question, "Do you intend to speak for every African woman?" the possibility of which troubled my pro-contraception, pro-"choice" readers (though the same readers had no problem with Melinda Gates' $4.6 billion speaking for those same African women). While the following answer will likely not satisfy her critics, I hope the voice of this strong, dignified woman will be heard and respected, especially as she speaks of her own beloved culture and the threats to it that come, uninvited, from a world away.

Ms. Obianuju Ekeocha

"Do I intend to speak for every African woman?"

Excellent question!!

My answer: Yes and No.

Yes. I speak for every woman living in the (sub-Saharan) African context, not as if I can read their minds, but as if I can read their living situations.

This is a bold statement to make but I would dare to make it because I understand the African society, the African cultural ethics and universal values, given that I was born and raised within that culture. Africa of course is comprised of many, many tribes and tongues and creeds (Catholic, Pentecostal, Evangelical, Islam and African Traditional religion). However across state lines, borders and languages, we share the universal values of the Culture of Life. This is why abortion advocates have found it very difficult (if not impossible) to sell legal abortion to any of these countries. There is a unanimous rejection of the Culture of Death, which is very much framed by the right to kill the defenceless unborn child in the womb.

As for the acceptance and use of artificial contraception, we have artificial contraceptives in Africa. In the last 2 decades, the UN has been on a mission to reduce the birth rate in Africa so they have flooded our hospitals with it, campaigning in urban and rural communities alike. But yet - surprise, surprise - most people still refuse to accept it because they perceive it as 'anti-life'. And besides, most African women know how to avoid or delay pregnancy without resorting to chemicals. They might be poor, but they are not slow nor stupid.

Anyway, there are a combination of reasons why the African women have a high birth rate.

The first is because there is a high desired fertility rate (i.e., how many babies a woman desires to have). This is because, the older women in our communities are revered or respected or even rated in accordance to how many adult children she has raised. So my mum who raised 6 adult children commands even much more respect than her friends who have much more wealth than she does but fewer children. And one of her friends who has 9 adult children is even more respected than my mum; even my mum reveres this lady for being able to raise 9 children (one of whom is a dear friend of mine by the way). For Melinda Gates' birth-reduction programme to take root in our society, she has to completely uproot this sort of value-system where wealth is never placed above children. Put differently, our system is such that our children are our treasure, and dollars, euros, rands are only our legal tender.

A second reason is that due to our poor medical facilities, poor societal infrastructure, poor nutrition, etc., our death rate is quite high (for both men and women). The life expectancy of every person living in sub-Saharan Africa is almost half of that in Europe, and if the culture does not encourage or celebrate births, well we'd be extinct before too long!

Another reason is that because we do not have free education as in Europe/US, it is rather difficult for the poor (which is more than 65% of the population) to send their daughters to secondary school (primary school in some cases), so they get married at a very early age. Anyone can see that if you start to have children at age 14, of course by the time you get to 35 you would have more than if you had been sent to school and thus married at say 20 years old.

Now I know people would suggest that these under-aged brides be protected and saved by giving them contraceptives to delay conception, but to live in the African society and be seen as infertile is never good for the woman especially where Christianity is not widely accepted and many men take second wives. So among the poor, a wife, in order to ensure her 'place' as the sole wife of her husband will want to have more than 3 or 4 children.

Among the educated this is different because most educated men will not willingly choose polygamy. And that is why I appeal for donations in African to be channelled to education of girls (and boys) rather than contraceptives. People would never wish their daughters married off at 12 or 13 years old if they were offered the opportunity of education. No girl would want to marry so young if she could get an education, and I do not know very many African girls who will then refuse a higher education (university, nursing school, teacher training college).

Once a woman living in the African context gets her higher education she is exponentially empowered. She could get a sustainable job with her skills, and when she marries she is so much more enabled not just with her husband but very importantly among his family (as our family structure is usually in the context of an extended family of the husband). It might be useful to point out at this juncture that the more educated African women almost always choose to have fewer children (but mostly by natural methods rather than artificial  contraceptives). So rather than fill our young defenceless under-aged brides with Depo-Provera which is more like a general anaesthesia that will make them not feel the brutality of their reality, we can better empower them by giving them the lifeline of education by which they can climb out of poverty one girl at a time. Surely education is more expensive than the artificial contraceptive, but it can change the fate and face of Africa as far as poverty is concerned.

Obviously this only addresses one part of the issue - the cultural acceptance (or rejection) of artificial contraceptives. There is also the matter of the governance and politics of Africa. Major, major issue. Anyone who follows closely the news from the African continent would immediately be struck by the ease with which dictators, military coups commanders, and criminal war lords pop-up across our continent. This is so hard to relate to for most Americans or Europeans, but we must bear in mind that most Africans have and are still living under dictatorial governments that span decades. In our African reality whoever is in power wields a god-like power which cannot be easily challenged. And in my experience, most of these men, who manage to climb into positions of power, want wealth for themselves; they want to spend only a portion of the national wealth on the people and then 'keep the change' for themselves. One factor that gets in their way is the increased populations in the different countries. They have more people to feed and fund thanks to our relatively high birth-rates, so from this point the natural female fertility becomes a stumbling block to them.

I would take the liberty to bring China into this conversation (only as an example) so please pardon me. The Chinese leaders have always had both unspeakable power and unfathomable wealth, so the moment they perceived the women's fertility as problematic, they used what they had to achieve what they wanted. They launched a rather expensive but effective war against fertility: state-sponsored abortions, forced sterilisations, mandatory contraception - all done without much consideration for human rights. Now in Africa among our governments, the desire to cap national population is there, the power (to trample human rights) is there, but the money is not, so women remain safe from this sort of violence.

But this could very easily change by the time Melinda pours into our territories the incredible amounts of artificial contraceptives that she is campaigning for (her target is to get enough for 120 million women! Most of whom are in Africa). I can just see this in the hands of the African dictators who will be quick to 'weaponise' every single one of these contraceptives (pill, pin, patch or injectables). I know many people who think that it is a 'nice' thing to do to get this 'choice' of birth control to the women, and I understand that they mean well, but are we willing to allow this extra edge of power to fall into the wrong hands? So on this point I speak for ALL African women who are as safe as the Authorities are disabled by limited supplies of artificial contraceptives.

For the societal acceptable sexual norms, I'm afraid I don't speak for all African women. However, by universal cultural standards, I do not know of one single African community that will accept or applaud 'free' sexual expressions, sex-outside-of-marriage, cohabitation, casual sex, domestic partnerships, friends with benefits etc. (all of which I have seen is widely accepted in the European culture that I live in today). Not to say that people are not engaging in such life styles in Africa, but they are never validated or endorsed by the society. A mother can never proudly tell anyone that her daughter is living with her boyfriend.

But in more recent years, thoughts and tendencies of the younger African women on different things are informed and formed by a broad array of factors: social class, wealth, education, degree of devotion to faith - these will all determine her level of exposure to western cultural values (this one is very important - so an African woman who has access to internet and cable TV spends more time watching American TV series [such as Mad Men!] which is more often than not highly sexualised; over time her perception and definition of love, sex and family life is inevitably shaped and formed). So there is an emerging group of African girls (though not a majority at all) gradually being "westernised" because they perceive the entirety - the whole package - of the western life as the 'glamourous life', the 'modern life', the 'better life'.

In order to embrace and accept this life, they inadvertently let go of some or most of our African universal cultural standards. With this persistent pursuit of the 'better life', many young Africans are now standing on the precipice beyond which lies the mirage of happiness/fulfillment promised by the new western norms of sexual expression. They have the choice either to jump off that precipice leaving our own norms behind, or to stand back in the realisation and appreciation of the beauty and solidity of our own African Culture of Life, which is so compatible with faith and morals.

I personally have chosen not to jump, I know many many, many other African women who have also chosen not to jump. And I pray that as my beloved African sisters come up one after the other to that precarious precipice they too would turn back and hold tight unto the beautiful Culture of Life which holds the firm promise of light, life and true love.

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For the past six years Ms. Ekeocha has been living and working as a biomedical scientist in Canterbury, England. Most of her family and many friends still live in Nigeria. From Catholic Online: Ekeocha "was inspired to write an open letter to Melinda Gates after learning of Gates' move to inject $4.6 billion worth of contraceptive drugs and devices into her homeland." She is hoping Gates will hear her "as the voice of the African woman." 

Ms. Ekeocha and others are hoping to find assistance from American pro-life advocacy groups/attorneys who can advise re: organizing and strengthening the continent's pro-life efforts to best fight against the coming contraceptive/Culture of Death onslaught.






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An African Woman's Open Letter to Melinda Gates

**UPDATE: I am thrilled to know that the author of this piece, Obianuju Ekeocha, has been following the discussion in the comments. She sent me an email that I have reprinted in part, with her permission, at the end of this post.**

Often, a sorrowing soul cannot express that sorrow in mere words. However, Obianuju Ekeocha, a 32-year-old Nigerian woman, has done so, and beautifully.

For the past six years Ms. Ekeocha has been living and working as a biomedical scientist in Canterbury, England. Most of her family and many friends still live in Nigeria. From Catholic Online: Ekeocha "was inspired to write an open letter to Melinda Gates after learning of Gates' move to inject $4.6 billion worth of contraceptive drugs and devices into her homeland." She is hoping Gates will hear her "as the voice of the African woman." 

(Hat tip to Heidi, for posting the link)

+++++++

Growing up in a remote town in Africa, I have always known that a new life is welcomed with much mirth and joy. In fact we have a special "clarion" call (or song) in our village reserved for births and another special one for marriages.

The first day of every baby's life is celebrated by the entire village with dancing (real dancing!) and clapping and singing - a sort of "Gloria in excelsis Deo."

All I can say with certainty is that we, as a society, LOVE and welcome babies.

With all the challenges and difficulties of Africa, people complain and lament their problems openly. I have grown up in this environment and I have heard women (just as much as men) complain about all sorts of things. But I have NEVER heard a woman complain about her baby (born or unborn).

Even with substandard medical care in most places, women are valiant in pregnancy. And once the baby arrives, they gracefully and heroically rise into the maternal mode.

I trained and worked for almost five years in a medical setting in Africa, yet I never heard of the clinical term "postpartum depression" until I came to live in Europe. I never heard it because I never experienced or witnessed it, even with the relatively high birth rate around me. (I would estimate that I had at least one family member or close friend give birth every single month. So I saw at least 12 babies born in my life every year.)

Amidst all our African afflictions and difficulties, amidst all the socioeconomic and political instabilities, our babies are always a firm symbol of hope, a promise of life, a reason to strive for the legacy of a bright future.

So a few weeks ago I stumbled upon the plan and promise of Melinda Gates to implant the seeds of her "legacy" in 69 of the poorest countries in the world (most of which are in Sub-Saharan Africa).

Her pledge is to collect pledges for almost $5 billion in order to ensure that the African woman is less fertile, less encumbered and, yes, she says, more "liberated." With her incredible wealth she wants to replace the legacy of an African woman (which is her child) with the legacy of "child-free sex."

Many of the 69 targeted countries are Catholic countries with millions of Catholic women of child-bearing age. These Catholic women have been rightly taught by the Church that the contraceptive drug and device is inherently divisive.

Unlike what we see in the developed Western world, there is actually very high compliance with Pope Paul VI's "Humanae Vitae." For these African women, in all humility, have heard, understood and accepted the precious words of the prophetic pope. Funny how people with a much lower literacy level could clearly understand that which the average Vogue- and Cosmo-reading-high-class woman has refused to understand. I guess humility makes all the difference.

With most African women faithfully practicing and adhering to a faith (mainly Christian or in some cases Muslim), there is a high regard for sex in society, especially among the women. Sex is sacred and private.

The moment these huge amounts of contraceptive drugs and devices are injected into the roots of our society, they will undoubtedly start to erode and poison the moral sexual ethics that have been woven into our societal DNA by our faith, not unlike the erosion that befell the Western world after the 1930 Lambeth conference! In one fell swoop and one "clean" slice, the faithful could be severed from their professed faith.

Both the frontline healthcare worker dispensing Melinda's legacy gift and the women fettered and shackled by this gift, would be separated from their religious beliefs. They would be put in a precarious position to defy their faith - all for "safe sex."

Even at a glance, anyone could see that the unlimited and easy availability of contraceptives in Africa would surely increase infidelity and sexual promiscuity as sex is presented by this multi-billion dollar project as a casual pleasure sport that can indeed come with no strings - or babies - attached. Think of the exponential spread of HIV and other STDs as men and women with abundant access to contraceptives take up multiple, concurrent sex partners.

And of course there are bound to be inconsistencies and failures in the use of these drugs and devices, so health complications could result; one of which is unintended abortion. Add also other health risks such as cancer, blood clots, etc. Where Europe and America have their well-oiled health care system, a woman in Africa with a contraception-induced blood clot does not have access to 911 or an ambulance or a paramedic. No, she dies.

And what about disposal of the medical waste? Despite advanced sewage disposal in the First-world countries, we hear that aquatic life there is still adversely affected by drugs in the system. In Africa, be rest assured that both in the biggest cities and smaller rural villages, sewage constitutes a real problem. So as $4.6 billion worth of drugs, IUDs and condoms get used, they will need safe disposal. Can someone please show us how and where will that be? On our farm lands where we get all our food? In our streams and rivers from whence comes our drinking water?

I see this $4.6 billion buying us misery. I see it buying us unfaithful husbands. I see it buying us streets devoid of the innocent chatter of children. I see it buying us disease and untimely death. I see it buying us a retirement without the tender loving care of our children.

Please Melinda, listen to the heart-felt cry of an African woman and mercifully channel your funds to pay for what we REALLY need.

We need:

- Good healthcare systems (especially prenatal, neonatal and pediatric care).
Needless to say that postpartum and neonatal deaths are alarmingly high in many Sub-Saharan African countries. This is due to the paucity of specialized medical personnel, equipment and systems. Women are not dying because they are having "too many" babies but because they are not getting even the most basic postpartum care. A childbirth or labor complication can very easily be fatal, for both mother and baby. To alleviate this problem new, well-equipped and well-staffed birthing centers with neonatal units need to be built in easily accessible parts of the poorest communities. And if Melinda Gates really insists on reducing population, she can have highly trained Natural Family Planning (NFP) instructors strategically placed in these women's healthcare facilities.  At least then there would be a natural and holistic approach.

- Food programs for young children.
This would serve a two-fold purpose if it is incorporated into free or highly subsidized nursery school programs. It would nourish and strengthen the growth of these children, who are so, so vulnerable to malnutrition, and it would also serve to encourage parents to bring their youngsters, ages 3 or 4, to nursery school. In so many parts of Africa, children miss out on nursery school education because it is expensive and considered a luxury reserved for the rich and middle class. As a result, the children miss the first few crucial years when basic math and reading are easily learned.  By the time they are considered "ready" for school, at age 7 or 8, they struggle academically. Many of them never quite catch up and so drop out after six or seven years. This is when a lot of young girls are married off as mid- to late-teenage wives who unfortunately would become the perfect recipient of the Melinda Gates comprehensive contraceptive care!

- Good higher education opportunities
Not just new school buildings or books, but carefully laid out educational programs that work - scholarships, internships at higher levels, etc. - are needed. Despite the problems and obstacles to primary and secondary education, a significant number of young girls make it into universities, polytechnics or colleges. The problem however is that, most of the schools and resources are substandard and outdated. As such, the quality of higher education is low and cannot compare to that of more privileged countries. Even though the teachers put in their very best and the students work hard, the system is inadequate and will always produce disadvantaged graduates who are not confident enough to stand with their counterparts who have studied in other parts of the world.

- Chastity programs
Such programs in secondary schools, universities and churches would create a solid support system to form, inform and reassure our young girls and women that real love is that which is healthy and holy. Many African girls are no longer sure about moral sexual ethics thanks to the widespread influence of Western media, movies and magazines. More support should be given to programs that encourage abstinence before marriage and fidelity in marriage. This approach would go a long way to combating the spread of HIV and other STDs through the continent. And it would certainly lead to happier marriages!

- Support for micro-business opportunities for women
The average African women is incredibly happy, hard-working and resilient. Any support both economic and through training would most probably be used well and wisely.

- Fortify already established NGOs that are aimed at protecting women from sex-trafficking, prostitution, forced marriage, child labor, domestic violence, sex crimes, etc.
Many of these NGOs do not have much success because they are not well-funded. Though most of them have good intentions, they lack professional input from those such as psychologists, logisticians or medical personnel needed to tackle various problems.

$4.6 billion dollars can indeed be your legacy to Africa and other poor parts of the world. But let it be a legacy that leads life, love and laughter into the world in need.

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Please be sure to read Obianuju Ekeocha's follow-up post: "Do you intend to speak for every African Woman?"



**Here is the gracious and eloquent email that I received from Ms. Ekeocha:


Dear Leila,

My name is Obianuju Ekeocha (my friends call me Uju , so please feel free to do the same). I just want to thank you personally for carrying on this amazing conversation (about my article) on your blog.

I still cannot believe how my simple words from the heart became as the pebble thrown into a river to cause so many ripples in the blogosphere.

In the last week I have seen some really bitter responses (understandably so considering how integral contraceptives have become in the western world). But I have also seen so many many positive and encouraging responses (yours being one of them). I really wish I could answer the questions that I see people asking, I really wish I could get many of my cousins and sisters and friends and aunties from home (Nigeria) to speak for themselves. I mean my article only lifts a tiny edge of the curtain to our culture of life and our perception of love and life. There is so much more that I wish I could communicate. I was thinking of making a photo album next time I go home of just women and their babies. Amidst the dust and dirt ... but happy.

For now I just sort of feel powerless because of the inadequacy of my little article. However, you may be interested to know that I will be a guest on Teresa Tomeo's radio show (catholic connections) on Monday 27th from 9:39 Eastern time -Ave Maria radio.
{…}
We don't have any good pro-life advocacy in place in most African countries and so we really are not prepared at all for this move by Melinda to plant the seeds of the culture of death. So maybe the time has come for me to try and reach out to people (like yourself) who are clearly pro-life for your thoughts and wisdom.

Once again thank you so much for rising in defence of the dignity of the African woman.

God bless you.

Kindest regards
Uju



Follow-up post: "Do you intend to speak for every African woman?"

Related post:  No food or medicine, but plenty of contraception and coercion

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A reader's questions answered

As I contemplated what to write about in these last days before my July blog fast, I thought about mourning over stolen innocence here (and the outrage of political injustice that fuels it; vote Obama out!), or lamenting our nation's loss of decency and shame here (may our all-pure and all-holy God have mercy), but then I remembered an email from a reader that I have put off answering for too long.

So, let me get to it.

Hi Leila,
I know you have a ton of worthy topics, but I was wondering if you would be willing to address any of these topics?


Sure! I am an expert on exactly nothing, but I love to throw out my thoughts!

* Raising boys in an over-sexed culture. (I am already praying for [my young son's] purity, but I am still concerned. I know guys are way more visually oriented than girls, and that once they get the images in their heads it is hard to get them out. Could you talk about how you parent your boys with regards to this?)


With six boys of my own (from age 19 down to 2), it's a topic near and dear to my heart. You are soooooooo right about the visual nature of the male mind. If women had any flipping idea how different the mind of a man is when it comes to sexual images and urges, they would be shocked, speechless. The very best thing I have ever read on the subject is something that I also required my teen daughters to read. The book made one daughter weep, because before that day she had no idea. Even I was stunned. I thought I knew. Parents, read it first, and then hand it to your teen daughters:

For Young Women Only: What You Need to Know About How Guys Think

It may seem weird that I'm recommending a book for girls when you asked me about boys. But I promise you, this book will give you so much insight into how your son's mind will work when he becomes a teen that you will be well-equipped to teach and understand him.

To specifics: My boys are raised to know that their bodies are made by God and are used to glorify him. Each son is told that his private parts are not play things, but that they have a very special and holy purpose for marriage. One day, if he marries, he will have the privilege of becoming completely and intimately united with his wife in a way that is unique among all other relationships, and which is reserved only for the two of them. This act of love is so sacred, so special, so transcendent, that it has the capacity to create new human beings who will live for all eternity. My boys understand that sexuality is a powerful gift that a man must learn to control, so as not to hurt any woman or child who might suffer for his selfish actions in this area.

We are not prudes here in my house, and we don't shy away from talking about sex (age-appropriate only, of course), but no one has yet had any trouble grasping the concept of chastity as virtue, the sacredness of marriage, and how important it is to live honorably in this regard.

Here's an exchange I have with all my sons (not limited to the sexual issues of course), starting at a young age:

I say: "Who is the strongest man in the whole world?"*

They answer: "The one with the most self-control!"

*I love that when they are little, they answer: "God!" or "Jesus!" Then I clarify for them that I am talking about merely human men.


I also remind my older boys that using pornography is not only a selfish act that is degrading to them and disrespectful to all women, but it is also highly addictive, and they will easily become a slave to it. Porn will render them weak and wimpy and pathetic -- not like real men at all. There is nothing honorable about it.

Also, they know that pornography and all other sexual sins are mortal sins. My boys have a healthy fear of offending the God Who loves them (and Whom they love). And while it's certainly not something we dwell on, they would prefer not to spend their eternities in the pit of hell, so they act accordingly. Go figure. ;)



* A review of how to prove or disprove an argument logically. (This is mostly because people on facebook and who comment drive me bonkers.)


I hear ya on the "driving me bonkers" thing.

I've never studied formal logic, so my approach is just what makes sense to me. When I encounter something nonsensical or evil that is being passed off as something reasonable or good, I start with a simple question (not a statement) that challenges a person to take his idea a little bit further. No more than a question or two at a time, or else the whole thing just becomes a non-productive multiplication of words.

If the person you are debating becomes emotional and insulting, you stay unemotional and kind. And ask the question again. And again (maybe with different words). Make the question concrete and logical, not nebulous or vague. Wait patiently for an answer, and if it comes, move on to the next logical question. Answer any honest question he has with clarity and truth, and if you don't know the answer, tell him you don't know, but you will find out and get back to him.

Side note: One sign that a person is not debating in good faith is when you get a question like, "How does it feel to know that you are entrusting your children to a band of pedophiles with funny hats?" (Though here's proof that on rare occasions even stuff like that can turn into good! She later apologized and was open to being corrected.) Another example of someone debating in bad faith is when a Protestant accuses Catholics of "worshipping Mary" and then won't accept Catholic teaching itself on the issue (i.e., that worshipping any creature, including Mary, is a mortal sin).

Back to the question at hand, I have to be honest and tell you that not everyone should be involved in these kind of deep exchanges with clever secularists and zealous Protestants. We all have different gifts, and not everyone is cut out for long, philosophical debates. Sometimes an ill-advised or badly executed debate can do more harm than good. A person who is not cut out for the "battle" may instead want to be a powerful, behind-the-scenes prayer warrior while others do the debating, and/or simply have links ready so that a challenger can go to other legitimate sources for answers.

However, if one has a fairly good working knowledge of the faith and of the issues, then the debating part can be a learned skill. I'm learning every day, with things becoming more clear and focused to me as time goes on. I know that you (the original questioner) are fully capable of dialoguing in truth and love, so maybe just get some of the basic arguments and questions down pat, on the most important topics, and don't forget to pray before you type! (Or direct the person to the Bubble and I'll take 'em on, ha ha!)

Also, while I genuinely care about the folks I debate and hope to plant seeds, I know that most are not likely to change their ideology. But there are many fence-sitters, as well as Catholics who need to find the courage of their convictions, following the facebook/Bubble conversations. My discussions are often for them more than for the person whom I'm debating.


* Your view on how to best address the cultures descent into chaos. Do you think we should start with whatever the current issue is (e.g., the current one- gay marriage) or just start with contraception (since it all flows from there) or abortion/euthanasia (since you are more likely to encounter people who think they are wrong)?


While six months ago I might have said that gay "marriage" is the most pressing issue of the day, and six months before that I would have said it's definitely the foundational issue of contraception, today it's suddenly, eerily, the very issue of religious liberty itself, and whether we will lose the legal right to speak and live our Faith freely. The battleground is changing faster than I can keep up with it!

So, I guess each encounter in the battle is going to depend on the person and the situation. For example, it can be difficult debating evangelical Protestants and getting them fully on board the Culture of Life, because while they are in love with Jesus and they defend traditional marriage and the rights of the unborn with us (praise God!), they've simultaneously adopted the Planned Parenthood mentality on contraception (as you've said, it all flows from there), and the anti-establishment mentality of bucking (Church) authority. So we Christians are not fighting the Culture of Death effectively, as one Body. That's a sad legacy of the Reformation.

And encounters with secularists have their own special challenges, as it's hard to debate and seek truth among those who see the cultural train wreck as "progress", and who don't believe that an objective moral truth exists in the first place.

Ultimately, it's hard to say precisely where to start on the outside. But we do know where to start on the inside.

While this sexual free-for-all, the destruction of the family, and the loss of a sense of sin and shame has brought us to our knees culturally, it's also brought us to a moment of great grace. It's clear at this low point (ever lowering) that prayer and fasting and a return to God really are the most important weapons in the battle. There is only one thing that has ever overcome the darkness and despair and ugliness of sin, and that is Love. Jesus Christ crushed and defeated evil and death not by overpowering it, but by undergoing it, with love. So, the first step is to remember who we are, where we came from and where we are going. I promise you that the world needs saints more than she needs good debaters. The saints will win the battle for hearts and souls every time, because they have a moral authority and a teaching voice that rises above all others.

Be a saint. Teach your children to be saints.

And please, never despair, no matter how far into the abyss we go, because we have this assurance from the One Who commanded the very universe into being and yet Who stoops to love each of us as tenderly as a Bridegroom loves his bride:

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -- John 16:33

I know that I would really enjoy reading any of your thoughts on these topics.  I know I don't comment much, but I definitely keep up with the reading! 


Thanks!

I did ramble on, so thank you for sticking with me!



PS: Anytime you place an Amazon order through a link on this blog, or click the Amazon link at the bottom, 100% of my commission will be donated to the orphans.



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The sheer idiocy of "Every child a wanted child"

A little stream of consciousness from me today….

…or off with their heads!

"Every child a wanted child" has to be one of the more insidious pro-abortion slogans.

Think about this silly little euphemism for a second.

There are only two ways to ensure a child's "wantedness":

1) We start wanting the children we create.

or

2) We kill all the unwanted children.


The first option is the choice to love.

The second option is the choice to kill.

Voilà! Both options will leave us with only "wanted" children!

Since the unborn child is helpless and has no way of remedying his "unwanted"/"wanted" status, the "unwantedness" or "wantedness" of a child falls, 100% of the time, on the adults around him, including the adults who made him in the first place (the parents), the adults around those parents, and the adults in society at large.

The Culture of Life's solution is love, and the Culture of Death's solution is, of course, death.

But let's go with the fun little slogan for a moment, and expand it. How about, "Every woman a wanted woman"? The rest of you will be shot at dawn! Too bad for you -- you should have been wanted, heh heh heh. Maybe "every Jew a wanted Jew"? Wait, someone in the 1940s already thought of that one. Oh, sorry, I'm sooooo out of line there.

Back to the original: "Every child a wanted child."

Let's revisit the premise. So what if a child is unwanted (i.e., unloved) by others? Since when do we have the right to kill those who are unloved and unwanted? Isn't our own humanity measured by how we treat those who are the least popular, the biggest outcasts, the most despised? What the hell kind of culture kills its unwanted?

And what does it say to the children of a culture when they hear slogans proclaiming that they must be "wanted" or else they are not even worthy of life itself?

Thank God that Catholicism teaches the polar opposite of the evil pro-"choice" slogan above. "Wantedness" has never been the measure of a human being's worth, nor a requirement for being allowed to stay alive.

Blech, I can't even think of a more sickening way to measure someone's value than if other people "want" him. If we don't want a piece of clothing or furniture anymore, we get rid of it. But we don't do that with human beings. At least not in my world.

I'm going to challenge the ghoulish slogan above with the following antidotes:

Every child is a wanted child.
Every child is intrinsically valuable.
Every child is infinitely lovable.
Every child is made in the image and likeness of God.

Imagine a world where we live and teach those truths!

"Can a woman forget her infant, so as not to have pity on the son of her womb? And if she should forget, yet will not I forget you." -- God

And as for these idiocies…

...don't even get me started!!

My blogging crisis

I cannot tell a lie.

I have been avoiding you.

It's really not you, though. It's me.

I am in a bit of a slump if you can't tell. I have a million half-written blog posts waiting to be finished up, polished up, and published. I have a zillion more ideas just floating around in my brain. No lack of passion here, I promise. I have in no way lost my zeal.

But for some reason, I am not in the mood to actually write this stuff down.

I think one reason is what I'll term "secular burn-out". Engaging secularism on a regular basis is draining. It can enervate and exhaust even a deeply fortified, prayerful soul (which I am not). I have often grown weary, even disheartened. Not in the sense that I doubt the truth, goodness, and beauty of the Faith, because I am more convinced than ever that Jesus Christ is the only Way, the only Truth, and the only Life.

Without the grace of Christ, the human condition is dark and cold and without hope.

I have seen this in the combox debates. Even the obvious, even things we never used to fight about as a culture, are no longer common ground starting points.

Lately, I wake up with the feeling that I don't want to start something, because I'm peaceful and joyful and I don't want to go there today.

I don't want to hear more of what I've heard.

For example:

I've had real people, thoughtful people, tell me that they cannot for the life of them see a difference between men and women.

I've had a real person, a thoughtful person, tell me that mothers and fathers are simply "interchangeable" in the life of a child.

I've had real people, thoughtful people, tell me that acts of sodomy and masturbation are beautiful, healthy and good, and no different from the sexual union between husband and wife.

I've had a real person, a thoughtful person, tell me that she couldn't say whether or not the little girl in this casket deserved love or was a piece of trash to be discarded with yesterday's coffee grounds.  

I've had real people, thoughtful people, tell me that it would be clearly the moral choice to torture and kill a six-year-old girl in order to spare the lives of fifty people. 

These and countless other discussions have left me with an unsettled, almost eerie feeling that I cannot quite describe. But it looms. And it insinuates. And it disquiets. 

Incessant engagement with secularism tends to take the mind away from the higher things -- lighter, lovelier, worthier, holier, more beautiful and transcendent things upon which the mind should be focused:

[W]hatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  -- Philippians 4:8

And yet, Christians cannot retreat from the conversation that is so desperately needed, now more than ever.

I'm trying to find that line. I want to do this right.

I'm pretty sure the answer is prayer.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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Watch, and pick a side.

The contentious debate over Planned Parenthood funding has spawned some interesting videos recently.

First, Mary sent me this gem, a rather disturbing display of teens and young adults giddily declaring that they have sex, in an attempt to support Planned Parenthood. I can't imagine any but the most left-wing parents being proud of their kid in such a video. It's cringe-inducing, but try to get through it:

Next, there was Sew's blog post entitled, "This is What I Imagine Hell Would Sound Like", which included the following video of a recent Planned Parenthood "Walk for Choice" rally. The anger and coldness of the participants is hard to take. Ultimately, my heart breaks for these people who have seemingly lost touch with their own humanity. It's ugly stuff, but I thank God that it's available for all to see:

As always on this blog, I ask our pro-"choice" friends to comment on the videos and defend (or critique) what you see. I am truly interested to know if you think these are effective tactics to win people to your cause, and if you are proud of these efforts. I can't wrap my mind around the things I see in these videos, and yet I know that the pro-"choice" camp is supportive of this. Help me understand.

I would be remiss if I didn't represent the other side here. Everyone is free to choose the side of life, where there is love and hope, mercy and peace. 

As you can see, the lines are drawn, and the philosophies and practices diametrically opposed. Ultimately, the two sides are irreconcilable. 

You really must pick a side. 

Why I cannot be a Catholic and a Democrat

Please notice that this post is not entitled "Why I Have Never Been a Democrat." In fact, I was a registered Democrat in 1992, and I voted for Bill Clinton. My dear husband (now a conservative Republican) has a long history of being a Democratic activist, starting with his work on Harry Reid's very first campaign, continuing with his internship at The Carter Center at Emory University under Jimmy Carter, and interning for Democratic Senator Wyche Fowler at the Capitol.

Weeks ago, Rebecca was kind enough to ask me to write a guest post on why I am a Catholic and a Republican. Or, perhaps more accurately from my perspective, why I am a Catholic and cannot be a Democrat. This is a slightly edited version of that post.

My reasons are pretty cut and dry.

The last two popes and the bishops have taught that there are certain “non-negotiable” issues for Catholics involved in politics, issues which trump all other considerations. The non-negotiables come down to these:

• Abortion is intrinsically evil and must never be promoted or condoned.
• Embryonic stem cell research and human cloning are intrinsically evil and must never be promoted or condoned.
• Euthanasia is intrinsically evil and must never be promoted or condoned. 
• The traditional understanding of marriage as the union of one man and one woman must always be upheld.
• The right of parents to educate their children must always be upheld.

All other issues (for example, immigration, education, affordable housing, health and welfare, etc.) are considered policy issues, about which Catholics are free to disagree. As Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix has clarified in a guide for Catholics called, Catholics in the Public Square: 

On each of these [policy] issues, we should do our best to be informed and to support those proposed solutions that seem most likely to be effective. However, when it comes to direct attacks on innocent human life, being right on all the other issues can never justify a wrong choice on this most serious matter.

Indeed, Pope John Paul II wrote:

Above all, the common outcry, which is justly made on behalf of human rights -- for example, the right to health, to home, to work, to family, to culture -- is false and illusory if the right to life, the most basic and fundamental right and the condition for all other personal rights, is not defended with the maximum determination.  (Christifideles Laici, 38)

In his letter, “Worthiness to Receive Holy Communion,” Cardinal Ratzinger (now Pope Benedict XVI) wrote:

Not all moral issues have the same moral weight as abortion and euthanasia. For example, if a Catholic were to be at odds with the Holy Father on the application of capital punishment or on the decision to wage war, he would not for that reason be considered unworthy to present himself to receive Holy Communion. While the Church exhorts civil authorities to seek peace, not war, and to exercise discretion and mercy in imposing punishment on criminals, it may still be permissible to take up arms to repel an aggressor or to have recourse to capital punishment. There may be a legitimate diversity of opinion even among Catholics about waging war and applying the death penalty, but not however with regard to abortion and euthanasia.

In a 2006 speech to European politicians, Pope Benedict XVI said the following:

As far as the Catholic Church is concerned, the principal focus of her interventions in the public arena is the protection and promotion of the dignity of the person, and she is thereby consciously drawing particular attention to principles which are not negotiable. Among these the following emerge clearly today:

• Protection of life in all its stages, from the first moment of conception until natural death;
• Recognition and promotion of the natural structure of the family as a union between a man and a woman based on marriage and its defense from attempts to make it juridically equivalent to radically different forms of union which in reality harm it and contribute to its destabilization, obscuring its particular character and its irreplaceable social role;
• The protection of the rights of parents to educate their children.

In light of that crystal clear teaching, consider the following:

On Abortion

Today’s Democratic Party supports abortion unequivocally, to the point that even the word “rare” (as in “we believe abortion should be safe, legal and rare”) was finally and purposefully removed from the 2008 Democratic Platform. By contrast, the 2008 Republican Platform affirms that the “unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed.”

On Embryonic Stem Cell Research and Human Cloning

The Democratic Platform champions taxpayer funding for the destruction of human embryos to be used as research material, denouncing those who oppose it as putting “ideology” (i.e., their Catholic Faith) above “science.”

Compare that to the Republican Platform: “We call for a ban on human cloning and a ban on the creation of or experimentation on human embryos for research purposes" and a "ban on all embryonic stem-cell research, public or private.”

On Euthanasia

The growing push for the legalization of euthanasia at both the state and federal levels also comes from Democrats (who often refer to this type of killing as “death with dignity”).  The Republican Platform, however, explicitly condemns this intrinsic moral evil: “[W]e oppose euthanasia and assisted suicide, which endanger especially those on the margins of society.”

On Defense of Traditional Marriage*

Today’s Democrats are much more likely to promote homosexual rights and push for “gay marriage” than Republicans, whose Platform calls for protection of traditional marriage, in the form of a Constitutional Amendment.

On the Right of Parents to Educate Their Children


Democrats (and the liberal teachers’ unions to which they are beholden) go to great lengths to deny parents a choice in their children’s education, not only opposing school vouchers for private schools, but also opposing secular public charter schools, which often deviate from the leftist model. Laws that seek to limit the rights of homeschooling parents also come overwhelmingly from Democrats. By contrast, the Republican Platform states: “Parents should be able to decide the learning environment that is best for their child.” 

On every non-negotiable point for Catholics, the Democratic Party takes the wrong side. It is no wonder that it has become known as the Party of Abortion or the Party of Death. 

Catholics should take note that it is also the Party that is most hostile to traditional religion, and becoming more so. 

I want to make one thing clear: I am a Catholic before I am a Republican. In fact, I am not overly thrilled with the Republican Party these days and may become an Independent if the Republicans ever change course. But the one thing I cannot do is align myself with the Democrats. Catholics must evaluate candidates and vote based on the non-negotiable issues. (I have heard tell of a mythical creature called a “pro-life Democrat politician” but I have never actually seen a voting record that would confirm its existence). 

It’s a sad truth that the Democratic Party of today is nothing like the Democratic Party of our grandparents, which still had a moral grounding. We must not confuse the present with the past, and yet many Catholics do. They are either unaware or unwilling to admit that the Democratic Party (once supported overwhelmingly by Catholics) has become little more than a mouthpiece for secular materialism, an extremely anti-Catholic ideology. 

Finally, to the Catholics who have not left the Democratic Party: Please consider that the Democratic Party has long ago left you.

*Update: In 2012, the Democrats made acceptance of gay "marriage" a part of their Party platform. They considered the move "non-controversial."







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