tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2404472385223904842024-03-09T00:51:35.724-07:00Little Catholic BubbleA sphere of clarity, color and light -- with an infinite amount of room inside!Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.comBlogger744125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-30572585763967265972019-10-15T13:16:00.000-07:002019-10-15T13:16:04.724-07:00For Bubble subscribers! Hi Everyone!!<br />
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I miss you all! I want those of you who subscribed to this blog to know that I have moved over to the new blog, <a href="http://leilamiller.net/">LeilaMiller.net</a>. I moved over your email subscriptions to the new blog, so you should be getting emails that alert you to new posts. If you find that you are <i>not </i>being alerted to those new blog posts, it may be that MailChimp (the thing that sends the mass emails) is getting sent to your spam folder. So, please check your spam--or, better yet, go to the new blog and subscribe again there. That might help!<br />
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And, I hope you are all praying! Who could have predicted any of the craziness that is going on now when we started this little Bubble almost ten years ago????<br />
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What a wild ride! God is good and will see us through! :)<br />
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xoxo<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-46497280694207147562018-08-18T18:30:00.000-07:002018-11-09T09:58:57.412-07:00"I'm moving!" To a new blog...<span style="color: #cc0000;">Please remember that I am now at <a href="http://leilamiller.net/">LeilaMiller.net</a> and I am blogging there (slowly at first; hope to pick it up soon!)</span><br />
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Howdy, friends!! Long time no see!<br />
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You all deserve an update, as this blog has been dormant since March of this year. Blogging became much more difficult than simply putting out Facebook posts, because I tend to be more of a perfectionist here. I feel I need to have fully developed thesis, perfect grammar, etc. Facebook moves more quickly, and thoughts can be shorter. It was a great relief, lots of fun, and the comments/conversations/connections were immediate and edifying.<br />
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But because the social media overlords are bringing the hammer down on social conservatives and censoring speech, I am finally kicking into gear <a href="http://leilamiller.net/" target="_blank">a new website</a>--and a blog attached to it--that I started long ago but have not introduced till now. The reasons I started it in the first place are super boring, but it was time to make a switch from the Bubble.<br />
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This new platform will be helpful, since I am in my second round of "Facebook jail" in the past week. I have a pretty good idea of who the folks were who had me "arrested," so pray for those unhappy souls. Seems that speaking the truths of the Church teaching on sexual morality can get one nailed for "hate speech" (and it's happened to me before, <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2012/06/shockingly-offensive-statement-that-got.html" target="_blank">in 2012</a>).<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2egKNoIkGEmtn_f9NmZJRB-btY3MDpSk4kSKzqQWcp4OX0lp2W9EfhvvWhq27rFioQOMaaTCDi6pvSbaC9uC7iD8YGF6U-SClcxfg9PCYOZ-pHhNcIesapAObxaweYqUYqyfVPaCEXjd_/s1600/FREE+LEILA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="750" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2egKNoIkGEmtn_f9NmZJRB-btY3MDpSk4kSKzqQWcp4OX0lp2W9EfhvvWhq27rFioQOMaaTCDi6pvSbaC9uC7iD8YGF6U-SClcxfg9PCYOZ-pHhNcIesapAObxaweYqUYqyfVPaCEXjd_/s400/FREE+LEILA.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ha!! I've got the best friends! They have my back... lol. </td></tr>
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[I learned just before posting this that they even had sweet Margo Basso--longtime friend of the Bubble--"jailed" as well!]<br />
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What I said in the two instances this week was factual, apropos to the current crimes and sins infesting our hierarchy, and contained a link to <a href="http://josephsciambra.com/">JosephSciambra.com</a> (his blog a must read for anyone who wants to know how the "lavender mafia" has gotten such a foothold in Holy Mother Church and what its effects are). <br />
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Interestingly, what I wrote about homosexual acts was <i>mild, mild, mild</i> compared to what the saints have said about those sins. If St. Thomas Aquinas or St. Catherine of Siena or St. John Chrysostom (among many others) had a Facebook account, their words on the subject would get them banned for life--and likely arrested for "hate speech" in several American states and Canada!<br />
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We live in weird and yet exciting times, don't you agree?<br />
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Anyway, since Facebook has been my main platform for so long, and since I have been told that my next infraction will get me locked out of my own pages for <i>seven days</i>, with the following infraction getting me locked out of my Facebook pages <i>forever</i>, I am thinking ahead.<br />
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First, as I mentioned above, I am debuting a new website: <a href="http://leilamiller.net/" target="_blank">LeilaMiller.net </a>is the location, and there is a section of the site that is <a href="https://www.leilamiller.net/blog" target="_blank">my new blogging space</a>. My first post was <a href="https://www.leilamiller.net/blog/2018/8/14/welcome-to-my-new-blog" target="_blank">on August 14</a>, after my first (2018) Facebook incarceration.<br />
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Second, since I believe it's inevitable that I will be kicked out of Facebook completely, I have opened an account on the social networking platform, <a href="http://mewe.com/" target="_blank">MeWe</a>. Be sure to look for me if you sign up! More and more people are going that route, because they won't have to fear having their accounts censored or wiped out completely for being conservative.<br />
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Meanwhile, the Bubble will remain right here as an archive, and anyone will be able to access its articles at any time. Please continue to make use of it that way! But as for new writing, that's moving to the new blog, where you will also be able to keep track of my book projects, both completed and in progress. Currently, I have a book publishing through <a href="http://catholic.com/" target="_blank">Catholic Answers</a> next month, <i><a href="https://shop.catholic.com/made-this-way-how-to-prepare-kids-to-face-todays-tough-moral-issues/" target="_blank"><b>Made This Way: How to Prepare Kids to Face Today's Tough Moral Issues</b></a></i>, co-written with the wonderful Trent Horn.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheoY3B7otBfct_eSlv_o0VeMInYmXpuNF_DKdHtpPyxWrwwcAU9DA8GCvgqgkAvAT3sR87-1cG96YuukUmGfX4JBik0WsDEMIPURXgv8Lvpy5yQu6ETJpcjN0LDVduMB-r7gZ6KKNBcCGS/s1600/Made_This_Way_shop__46858.1532966602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheoY3B7otBfct_eSlv_o0VeMInYmXpuNF_DKdHtpPyxWrwwcAU9DA8GCvgqgkAvAT3sR87-1cG96YuukUmGfX4JBik0WsDEMIPURXgv8Lvpy5yQu6ETJpcjN0LDVduMB-r7gZ6KKNBcCGS/s640/Made_This_Way_shop__46858.1532966602.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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I am so happy to say that some great Catholics have already endorsed it (Matt and Cameron Fradd, Jason Evert, Dr. Robert P. George, <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2012/08/my-interview-with-dr-kevin-vost-from.html" target="_blank">Dr. Kevin Vost</a>, Leila Lawler, Leah Darrow and more), and I am humbled beyond words to say that His Eminence, <b>Robert Cardinal Sarah </b>has endorsed it as well (as he did with <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1534562462&sr=1-1&keywords=primal+loss" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a></i>). And yes, I freaked out just a little bit about that, again! He is a good and holy man, the kind we so desperately need more of in the College of Cardinals.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXedh-9MeO27GCs3i5oylIbmEjhetq3xlvF16vi_LGny4NeltdUxkcXXJuHBAq0XH6LLl_u3lZ5elFttTZZGBAHX5IY1_FDuqY5dow35mgmJcqdcUQYQrmo6WOtlASZWf92eZHScd1wMOe/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-08-17+at+8.38.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="946" data-original-width="735" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXedh-9MeO27GCs3i5oylIbmEjhetq3xlvF16vi_LGny4NeltdUxkcXXJuHBAq0XH6LLl_u3lZ5elFttTZZGBAHX5IY1_FDuqY5dow35mgmJcqdcUQYQrmo6WOtlASZWf92eZHScd1wMOe/s640/Screen+Shot+2018-08-17+at+8.38.45+PM.png" width="496" /></a></div>
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In more book news: <b>1) </b>a follow-up to <i>Primal Loss </i>is in the works (focusing on stories of hope--marriages that have survived despite the odds,<b> 2)</b> a second<i><b> expanded</b></i> version of <i><a href="https://www.holyheroes.com/Raising-Chaste-Catholic-Men-p/rccm.htm" target="_blank">Raising Chaste Catholic Men</a></i> has been published by Holy Heroes (make sure you don't accidentally get the older edition), and <b>3)</b> another new book is begun and has found a publisher, but it is still under wraps, so I'm not saying a word about it right now. I'm <i>extremely</i> excited about it, though (I believe it is <i>desperately</i> needed), and I'll let you know more when I can! Ahhh! I thank you so much for your support, because my Bubble readers are the reason I started writing books. You guys are the best!!</div>
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Oh, and, expect minimal commenting at the new site, at least at first, because I am not allowing anonymous comments, and it's hard to get a new blog up and running (there is a place you can subscribe to it, to receive posts in your email). I don't expect it ever to reach the level of <i>incredible </i>commenting that happened here in the Bubble, because I'm not going to be as consistent a blogger, by a long shot! And the fun of the Bubble can't be recaptured or duplicated. But we all have to move on to new seasons...<br />
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See you at <a href="http://leilamiller.net/">LeilaMiller.net</a>, and on MeWe--and also on my Facebook page, for as long as the "progressive, inclusive, open-minded" Facebook totalitarians allow it! ;)<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-26312739337590835532018-03-11T08:21:00.000-07:002018-03-11T08:21:24.514-07:00Cardinal Sarah endorses Primal Loss<br />
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This came. I almost fainted. Totally unexpected.<br />
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May God bless Robert Cardinal Sarah for his kind endorsement of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997989319/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0997989319&linkCode=as2&tag=littcathbubb-20&linkId=f053b940d6072994f8b4c1be50eb85f7" target="_blank"><i>Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</i></a>, and for his prayers for my family (which pretty much sent me over). I just love this man.<br />
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Please, please, pray for the good <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1621641910/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1621641910&linkCode=as2&tag=littcathbubb-20&linkId=f54ef938f55d36c50ab50bee7edbf52b" target="_blank">Cardinal</a>. He is one of the holiest men alive, in my estimation, and I know I'm not alone in that thought.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWNuHwyyxSi4Gz9MRzT2M-s8mjfe2MyIfx79td_pKIVKsBismJYhlvr2J5lvSmpI-2th-2PlNDiux3MknVcX-Od4eLkAYoBXVTvoR3VVhHS74Der4Or_5a7WgAJyo2Lo6Y4XZnDMnZ5aW/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-03-07+at+9.01.14+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="945" data-original-width="831" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjWNuHwyyxSi4Gz9MRzT2M-s8mjfe2MyIfx79td_pKIVKsBismJYhlvr2J5lvSmpI-2th-2PlNDiux3MknVcX-Od4eLkAYoBXVTvoR3VVhHS74Der4Or_5a7WgAJyo2Lo6Y4XZnDMnZ5aW/s640/Screen+Shot+2018-03-07+at+9.01.14+AM.png" width="562" /></a></div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-50659585915475742002017-12-23T09:30:00.003-07:002017-12-23T09:31:39.193-07:00TWO obligatory masses this weekend. Here are your options....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hey, Catholics! We are celebrating the Fourth Sunday of Advent <i><b>and</b></i> the Feast of Christmas, back to back! </div>
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Here are your options for mass attendance, made simple! (This handy graphic is from the Diocese of Phoenix, but it's true for all dioceses.)</div>
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Blessed Christmas to you!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP6BZrTJYjVus0hEBUuk-dxv9sdgIQjDo0TLrOgkOjWs6504vNv_YjgddmzccB4-6-tKrvZmy9_UVd06701PO0x37T1Otp2Ol0FlZUDhiAbxlO8Keb3zWvZNi6L7WHxyBkTJwRRFZL56F7/s1600/IMG_5371.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="732" data-original-width="750" height="620" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP6BZrTJYjVus0hEBUuk-dxv9sdgIQjDo0TLrOgkOjWs6504vNv_YjgddmzccB4-6-tKrvZmy9_UVd06701PO0x37T1Otp2Ol0FlZUDhiAbxlO8Keb3zWvZNi6L7WHxyBkTJwRRFZL56F7/s640/IMG_5371.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-39103043977355443492017-12-06T09:51:00.003-07:002017-12-06T09:51:52.264-07:00Book giveaway runs until Saturday!! Don't miss it! <br />
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The incredible Leila Marie Lawler has a book giveaway going on her wonderful blog, <i>Like Mother Like Daughter</i>! Head on over, and share!<br />
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<a href="http://likemotherlikedaughter.org/2017/12/a-book-that-might-bring-healing/"><span style="font-size: x-large;">A Book That Might Bring Healing</span></a></div>
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An excerpt:<br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">I have always said that you simply can’t ask a child what he thinks about his parents’ divorce. There is too much at stake! For the child to admit that he has received a blow he may not recover from is too frightening. And in almost every case, the child feels he has to protect his parents who are obviously no longer in control of their own lives — if only for his own preservation, for, the child has no autonomy. Without his parents, he will be exposed to nameless danger.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">No, you must wait until the child has grown. Then you may — may! — be able to find out what happened to his inner life when his world fell apart.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue;">This is what Leila Miller has done — she has let the now-adult “child” speak.</span></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ZYIy2Iom1kFtwxVYSGAb4H0PwOdITOjtmH0EMa_OxfjQTjczsDdp9YMfIDzY-K7G-LlCQzxPb1i1dldRzQw13EnDYF3WA9oZyGfWLQrDAKAiKa58AL5ZApSQRsr7EZahlreEFl_wyVxY/s1600/IMG_5032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ZYIy2Iom1kFtwxVYSGAb4H0PwOdITOjtmH0EMa_OxfjQTjczsDdp9YMfIDzY-K7G-LlCQzxPb1i1dldRzQw13EnDYF3WA9oZyGfWLQrDAKAiKa58AL5ZApSQRsr7EZahlreEFl_wyVxY/s320/IMG_5032.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-8630337081775936942017-11-27T14:47:00.002-07:002017-11-27T16:10:59.483-07:00Odd and Ends<br />
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Hello, my friends!<br />
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Just popping in to relink last year's Catholic Christmas shopping aid, from Catholic sellers! I hope all the links still work, ha ha:<br />
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2016/"><span style="font-size: large;">Catholic gifts from Catholic vendors!</span></a></div>
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ALSO:<br />
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If you would like signed copies of either of my books in time for Christmas gift-giving, please get that order to me this week, so I can send them out in plenty of time! My email is on the side of the blog, or you can email me at primalloss@gmail.com<br />
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If you want them signed and personalized, DON'T buy them from Amazon! Email me. And even if you<i> don't</i> want them signed but want a "CyberMonday" discount, email me. :) Otherwise, buy them at Amazon for full price. ;)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhslB9bYkL_RdfDjJkWEGJdXUEapLS0uSg0IwI_Gq75Hi0JlGfL_j9Srn4mR0i9mr4HMJLSZBuxTLnfJljQbbNRv6fAM2YudWNlYtx29LLK1LxpwtEwvnQgUB5-RWoiv8chGmneC9PAOaGs/s1600/IMG_5032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhslB9bYkL_RdfDjJkWEGJdXUEapLS0uSg0IwI_Gq75Hi0JlGfL_j9Srn4mR0i9mr4HMJLSZBuxTLnfJljQbbNRv6fAM2YudWNlYtx29LLK1LxpwtEwvnQgUB5-RWoiv8chGmneC9PAOaGs/s640/IMG_5032.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHrhgQQIVZLVBfokCMt3JPKfLy6uzmz_UQiifFdOqij2vNSoZAwS0gMC1QrdoFU6HDudTqCghBluhAhiOSZ1t9JpENyIypGOflFd9Bho2qAbZSvWj2HEB0IWBlGjm-WIgUJWGwPWCL74e/s1600/IMG_5034-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHrhgQQIVZLVBfokCMt3JPKfLy6uzmz_UQiifFdOqij2vNSoZAwS0gMC1QrdoFU6HDudTqCghBluhAhiOSZ1t9JpENyIypGOflFd9Bho2qAbZSvWj2HEB0IWBlGjm-WIgUJWGwPWCL74e/s640/IMG_5034-1.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Aaaaaand.....<br />
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<b>EXCITING NEWS:</b> I'm busy working on a book with Trent Horn (best Catholic apologist in the universe, and he works for Catholic Answers), which will show you exactly how to talk to your children (both little and big!) about each of the tough moral issues we are facing in the culture today. If you could pray for our endeavor, I would appreciate it so much!<br />
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Meanwhile, here is the single best article I have read to date about what is happening in our culture, especially with regard to the scourge of "identity politics" (which many young and faithful Catholics have fallen into, aka, the "social justice warriors") and its connection to the breakdown of the family (which is at the crux of so much of the disaster we see all around us):<br />
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<a href="https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/where-the-revolution-has-led-an-interview-with-mary-eberstadt-70476"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Where the Revolution Has Lead: </span></b></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/where-the-revolution-has-led-an-interview-with-mary-eberstadt-70476"><b><span style="font-size: large;">An Interview with Mary Eberstadt </span></b></a></div>
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<em><strong>Q. To millennials, and I speak as one, intentional self-definition feels like the natural mode of being. It's what we do on social media without even realizing it. Has that not always been so? Aren't existential crises a long-running theme in the past century of modernity? Have they changed, or heightened?</strong></em></div>
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A. What’s changed is not human nature – everyone asks the same questions about identity. But the familial circumstances in which many contemporary souls now find ourselves <em>are</em> radically changed, and make that quintessentially human question harder to answer.</div>
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For most of history, that question, “Who am I?” was answered first in the context of the family: <em>I am a daughter, I am a cousin, a grandmother, a niece,</em> and so on. Identity of a most obvious and unquestionable kind was provided by how any given individual was situated within the family into which he was born. If you didn’t know anything else, you at least knew that.</div>
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As of the Pill, though, and its promise of consequence-free sex, family relations have changed fundamentally – and with them, familial identity. Modern contraceptives increased the temptation to people-shop, because so many more people were now sexually available. Bonds like marriage, which once had been seen by most people as immutable, were (and are) extraordinarily strained by this massive sexual consumerism.</div>
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As a result, many people now regard “family” as a voluntary association, rather than a primordial set of bonds. That’s why we have such high rates of divorce and single motherhood – higher than ever before in history: because as of the sexual revolution, many people have behaved as if the family is negotiable, rather than given.</div>
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In the essay, I give examples of just some of the resulting confusion out there. <em>Are you a stepsister?</em> That depends. What if your mother and your “stepsister’s” father were married once -- and aren’t anymore? Are you still related to that person? What if they were never married in the first place, and you were just living with your mother’s boyfriend’s daughter? Would you have considered her a “stepsister” at all?</div>
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Similarly: <em>is that my grandfather?</em> Well, if he’s your mother’s father, probably yes. But what if he’s someone who married your grandmother after she divorced your original grandfather – what then? And so on.</div>
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Add to all of these novel existential quandaries the related fact that the family has shrunk, and you can readily see what distinguishes us from our ancestors: we have fewer attachments to family than they did, and the ones that we do have are, for many of us, in constant flux.</div>
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How is a communal animal – man – supposed to derive identity from his first community, the family, at such a time? That’s where the barely suppressed hysteria behind today’s identity politics is really coming from, I think: confusion and loneliness and familial deprivation.</div>
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Read it all <a href="https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/where-the-revolution-has-led-an-interview-with-mary-eberstadt-70476">here</a>. </div>
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Miss you guys!!!! xoxoxoxo</div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-40169972545061910982017-10-20T12:58:00.000-07:002017-10-20T13:07:44.065-07:00My EWTN appearances<div style="text-align: center;">
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I had an amazing experience at EWTN studios, and then, with my son who attends college nearby, I went on a little pilgrimage to the <a href="http://www.olamshrine.com/">Shrine Mother Angelica built</a>, which includes her nuns' monastery and her resting place. </div>
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Here's my live interview on <i>At Home With Jim and Joy</i> (who were so wonderful!):</div>
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This one is a very short Bookmark Brief (like a commercial) and the full interview with Doug Keck will be aired sometime in the Spring. </div>
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Aaaaaannnd.....</div>
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I NEED YOUR STORY!</div>
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The follow-up book to <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508529075&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss+book"><i>Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</i></a> is going to be a compilation of stories of HOPE (like Chapter 10 in the current book). If you have a story of either you or your parents overcoming a terrible marital crisis and reuniting or finding redemption, please email me your story at primalloss@gmail.com -- and rest assured it will stay completely anonymous!</div>
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God bless you! :)</div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-14124971746950388972017-09-26T22:41:00.003-07:002017-09-26T22:41:57.299-07:00From a Child of Divorce: "What I Wish They Would Have Told Me"<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">My friend Melody Lyons <a href="http://www.blossomingjoy.com/blog/2015/8/14/divorce">wrote something two years ago</a>, that, had I known about it then, would have been included in my book, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1506490572&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss+leila+miller">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a>. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">What she wrote goes to the heart of what I have learned since editing the book, and it's what the vast majority of divorce ministries and counselors are missing, i.e., the very normal and expected reactions of children taught to go along with something that is naturally destructive and unjust. Please see if you don't recognize what we do to the children of divorce, in Melody's words:</span><br />
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As the Catholic discussions on divorce, remarriage, etc., increase as a result of current events in the Church, I throw in my unsolicited pennies and beg Catholics to avoid one thing during those discussions: Never, even under the generous umbrella of <i>mercy</i>, allow adult pastoral considerations to divert attention from the great needs of the suffering children of divorce. A faster annulment process (or other changes) may or may not be good for the Church.... But it doesn't fundamentally change the crushing blow that divorce is to the family. Even when it is necessary, it is still a great suffering.<br />
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When we minimize the language of what divorce really is, we also minimize the real effect on human beings... and we unfortunately communicate lies to kids: <i><b>"There must be something wrong with YOU to feel so bad and broken over something that isn't really a big deal."</b></i> It makes kids (and abandoned spouses) feel isolated and crazy. My own experience was that it caused me to bear an unwieldy burden of guilt even as a very young child. Over and over again I heard variations on the following...<br />
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"It's for the best."<br />
"It's good for your parents... you should be glad that they can live happier lives."<br />
"Don't you want them to be happy?"<br />
"It is better this way."<br />
"They did a brave thing."<br />
"Nobody should have to live with someone they don't love."<br />
"You'll understand when you're older."<br />
"You are not being fair to them."<br />
"Children do not understand what makes adults happy."<br />
"Be grateful you didn't have to grow up in an unhappy household."<br />
"You will learn to think and feel differently with time."<br />
"Do you want to make your mom cry?"<br />
"You were too young to be affected by it... you're just trying to get attention now."<br />
"You are being ungrateful."<br />
"God does not want your parents to be unhappy."<br />
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And over and over again I was pierced by the pain of isolation and brokenness that seemed to only have its roots in MY guilty, stupid soul. If divorce was "good" "better" and "best" and my parents were wholly justified and excellent decision makers, then I must have been a worthless person for all the sadness, grief, and anger I carried. While my own parents were lifted up and extolled for their courage by the long list of counselors, friends, and priests I sought out for help with my runaway grief, I was crushed under the knowledge that my grief (which I was helpless to) was standing in the way of their happiness....<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Please read the rest of Melody's stunning piece, here:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.blossomingjoy.com/blog/2015/8/14/divorce">"What I Wish They Would Have Told Me"</a></span></div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-70616202655761969732017-09-23T20:35:00.003-07:002017-09-23T21:03:52.200-07:00Infallibility made VERY simple<br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Since there is a lot going on in the Church right now, it's a good time for all of us to understand something very important and very basic: <i>Infallibility.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There is more than one kind (or level) of infallibility in the Church. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The Magisterium (i.e., the teaching authority of the Church) can exercise infallibility in two basic ways: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>1. The "extraordinary Magisterium" </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>2. The "ordinary and universal Magisterium"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The exercise of the <b>"extraordinary Magisterium"</b> is the one we hear about most. This is when the Pope acts on his own, pronouncing and defining doctrine <i>ex cathedra</i>, or "from the Chair" of Peter. This has happened with two Marian doctrines--the Immaculate Conception of Mary and the Bodily Assumption of Mary. (These doctrines were already true and believed before the pope declared them, by the way. Popes do not ever "make up" new doctrines.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The exercise of the <b>"ordinary and universal Magisterium"</b> is less dramatic but more common. It is the teaching of the whole body of bishops, in union with the pope. When the bishops and pope speak and teach definitively on something (for example in an ecumenical council) they are teaching infallibly. The day-to-day teachings of the Church, confirmed and reaffirmed throughout the centuries (taught "always and everywhere"), fall into this category of infallible teachings. "God exists" would be one such infallibly taught doctrine (pretty basic and general!), as would the prohibition of abortion and contraception (never has the Church sanctioned either one). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Like I said, I'm keeping it simple! </span><br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-91913710614762818252017-09-22T01:26:00.002-07:002017-09-22T01:26:38.935-07:00Fr. Pete Rossa, Requiescat in pace<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Precious in the sight of the LORD </span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">is the death of his holy ones.</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Psalm 116:15</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Fr. Pete Rossa, the beloved, always-smiling, ever-joyful pastor of St. Bernadette Catholic Church in Scottsdale, Arizona, died last Wednesday, September 13. He was only 52.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">On the morning of Tuesday the 12th, Fr. Pete had ascended the steps of the ambo to give his homily to the small group of faithful who had assembled for daily mass in the <a href="http://www.catholicsun.org/2016/08/19/st-bernadette-parishioners-move-into-first-real-home/">magnificent new church building</a> that had been dedicated only months before. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">A dear friend who was in the pews that day said that Father did not look well as he began his homily -- he was "as white as the marble" surrounding him, but he pressed on in his priestly duties. He began with prescient words:</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> <i>"In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus called the disciples to Himself...." </i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">He then stopped, apologized, and appeared to take a step down. He lost consciousness and fell backwards onto the marble floor, hitting his head. The lector and parishioners rushed to help him, first responders arrived, and soon he was taken into emergency surgery. Despite excellent care, there was nothing the doctors could do; he never regained consciousness. The next day, surrounded by loving family, friends, and brother priests praying the rosary, Fr. Pete, good and faithful servant of God, passed to eternal life. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">It is a consolation to all and a gift from the Lord that his last conscious moments on this earth were spent surrounded by consecrated, holy things, with his Eucharistic Lord just a few feet from him. Father Pete was robed in his priestly vestments, serving his flock in the house of God that they had worked so hard to build, together. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">As recounted in <a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/peter-rossa-obituary?pid=1000000186676344">his moving obituary</a>:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: purple; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>In the lunchroom at the parish office just recently, Fr. Peter shared with some of his staff that when it was his time, he hoped he could die doing what he loved most, celebrating the Sacred Mass. How prophetic, then, that he was called to the Lord and into the loving arms of the Blessed Mother, for whom he held such great affection, only days later in just this way.</i></span></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">The Lord clearly loved his servant Peter very much. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Just months earlier, when dedicating the new church building, he said to his flock:</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><i>It’s my great prayer that we continue to grow in the grace of God and to proclaim His kingdom everywhere we go, every minute of the day because you, my brothers and sisters, are not just simply called to come to Mass on Sunday. You and I are called to be saints.</i></span></span></blockquote>
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<i><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">God wants that more than anything else, and He is going to pour out the Holy Spirit upon you in your lives for just that purpose. <b><a href="http://www.catholicsun.org/2017/09/15/st-bernadette-mourns-abrupt-loss-of-pastor/">If I were to die tomorrow, it would be my sincerest hope not that I be remembered for this church, but that I would be remembered for bringing you closer to Jesus Christ because that is our mission, that is our hope, that is our longing at the core of our faith.</a></b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b><a href="http://www.catholicsun.org/2017/09/15/st-bernadette-mourns-abrupt-loss-of-pastor/"> </a></b></span></span></span></i></blockquote>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I am not sure Fr. Pete knew who I was, but I sure knew him. I remember reading about his late vocation in the diocesan newspaper 14 years ago. He had been in the Air Force for 12 years, and after having served our country with honor, he got out and began to wonder about God, Someone he had not really known. He went to an RCIA class and asked, to the amusement of the others, "Who is Jesus?" God clearly had Pete Rossa on the fast track, because soon after that spiritual awakening, he was headed to the seminary--and ultimately to 14 years of a holy and fruitful priesthood that touched thousands of lives. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">St. Bernadette's has been my "second parish home" for many years, as well as the place where I routinely go to confession; Fr. Pete was often the priest behind the screen, hearing my sins and giving me gentle spiritual direction and absolution. When he celebrated the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, it was always reverent, and his joy in the Lord--and his beloved parishioners--was clearly evident. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Fr. Pete probably never knew that he was part of our Bubble family, but I used <a href="http://catholicedition.blogspot.com/2010/06/searing-truth.html">one of his columns</a> years ago, right here! He had a passion for and expertise in bioethics, and he used that knowledge to teach the truth, courageously but lovingly, to a world that desperately needs to hear it:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2010/06/ivf-and-what-to-do-with-excess-embryos.html">IVF, and what to do with "excess embryos"...</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">In the past few days there have been many tears shed for this kind, humble, and faithful priest, and many stories shared of how he changed people's lives and souls by mediating to them the love of Jesus Christ. A grieving member of Fr. Pete's flock, Denny Hunt, speaks for many of us when he says, simply:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><b>"Thank you for all the times you absolved me of sins and gave me Jesus."</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Our priests sacrifice everything to give us <i>all</i>. May we never take them for granted. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica neue, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">May the soul of Fr. Peter Rossa, and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in eternal peace. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnpHAnm6PbbRyRHC4D2O6fAeZftQ9887LEAJ3t-lNaiNXqjnRqWYWkps6eFkf2fatn8sxV3WDlpxZ3DCaFiCkT7SxJuWGaxhXp098LG790fElee7dFS7vd0EaKrX4fALSd8rc-tLTFnnpk/s1600/21751379_1953581634656346_4951041114295091597_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnpHAnm6PbbRyRHC4D2O6fAeZftQ9887LEAJ3t-lNaiNXqjnRqWYWkps6eFkf2fatn8sxV3WDlpxZ3DCaFiCkT7SxJuWGaxhXp098LG790fElee7dFS7vd0EaKrX4fALSd8rc-tLTFnnpk/s640/21751379_1953581634656346_4951041114295091597_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">There is more on Fr. Pete, including memorable stories from those who knew him during seminary and through his priesthood, in this <i>Catholic Sun</i> article:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.catholicsun.org/2017/09/15/st-bernadette-mourns-abrupt-loss-of-pastor/"><b>Catholic Community Mourns Sudden Loss of Beloved Priest</b></a></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fr. Pete, at the wedding mass of Chris and Angela Faddis, 2006. Photo: Carlos Weaver</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-116063228984374292017-08-25T23:15:00.000-07:002017-08-25T23:16:36.323-07:00What can a divorced parent say NOW to their children to help them heal? <i><br /></i>
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<i>Hello, Strangers (unless you've been following me on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/leila.h.miller.1"> Facebook</a>, and in that case, we know each other better than ever)!!</i><br />
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<i>Things have been pretty crazy since the release of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997989319/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0997989319&linkCode=as2&tag=littcathbubb-20&linkId=7e87c1c5eea7c5806e2490b88cf27190" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a> (scroll to the end of this post for info on my upcoming appearances on EWTN), and I can't thank you enough for all your support and encouragement. xoxoxo</i><br />
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<i>Through all the incredible discussion the book has engendered, I realized that there is a question I </i>didn't<i> ask the now-adult children of divorce, and it's an important one:</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What could your parents say to you <i>NOW</i> that would help you heal from the legacy of their divorce in your life? </b></span><br />
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<i>So, I took the question to several of the book's contributors, and below are their thoughts, in red. Other contributors' responses/reactions to those thoughts are in blue. And, if you are tempted to dismiss the answers as so much whining, please understand that divorce is an <b>injustice</b> to children, yet, they hardly speak of it. Let them speak, even if it hurts to hear it. We do not live in a culture where the children of divorce speak *too much* after all, but too little....</i><br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">What would I like to hear from my parents? An acknowledgment that they let me down.</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">^^That is exactly where my head and heart went.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Same.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">I think I would also stress the spiritual jeopardy that I was placed in by their choice.....we view God the way we are parented......that their actions haven't just hurt earthly relationships, but heavenly ones, as well.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">You know, this reminds me that a dad is supposed to fight for his family. The Church needs to do a better job with formation instead of the [weak catechesis] that passes for it......</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">YES. "We were stupid and selfish. We should have tried harder. We should have valued our family, and the health and well-being of our children more and fought for our family."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>They could say:</b> "<b>I loved your mother/father. I am sorry I hurt you. I would try harder if I had the chance to do it again."</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">What could they say? They could say "we're getting back together."</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">YES!</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">I was so sad when my dad got remarried and it became apparent that it would never happen. I know I'm not the only kid that held out hope for a reunion.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">For me this would be devastating. I would feel like my parents put me through 40 years of garbage for absolutely no reason.</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">I don't need an apology, just an acknowledgement that it has been incredibly hard for me and that it took things from me I otherwise would have had.</span></b><br />
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<b><br /></b><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">"I'm sorry, I'm listening." (<i>No </i>caveats, such as "I thought I was doing what was best for us, etc.")</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">+++++++</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Saying, "I'm sorry, I love you," then ask how I feel, listen to me and talk about it. I will say, my mom did write me a letter when I was in college telling me she was sorry that her marriage was not a good example for me. I really appreciated that.</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>Wow, I'm not sure what to say. I don't think my parents ever said anything like this to me, but I wish they had. My mom acknowledged it to me regarding my sister, because my sister went down the wrong path, got into drugs, went to jail for a time, etc., and my mom acknowledged that the divorce was so hard on her, that it was probably a big part of why she went down the path she did. </b><b>I would just want them to say, "I'm sorry" and express regret, remorse, and <i>acknowledge</i> that they knows it's harmful and it hurts, and if there's anything they can do to help their children cope, that they will do it. And if the kids need to talk or vent without judgement, they will listen. And then mean it.</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #cc0000;">How about: "My Child, I am sorry to have caused you all this pain. It was a difficult, painful time, and in my ignorance and blindness, I chose a selfish, sinful path, and your family was broken. I should have tried harder and done the work to fix what was wrong and loved your mom (or dad) the way she (or he) deserved. I should have honored my vows and been a better example to you and your siblings. Please don’t follow in my footsteps! I love you and pray that you can make your marriage last a lifetime, and that your own children never have to go through the pain you have suffered."</span></b><br />
<b><br /></b><span style="color: blue;">Perfect.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Oh my, I love this.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Thank you. This hits all the sore spots!</span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">"I'm so sorry."</span></b><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I would want the parent to ask <i>me</i> how I feel and what I went through and listen. That's all.</span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;">THIS</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;">Yep. This. Great answer.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;">I agree, but I needed to hear their sense of sadness and regret, too.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">Would you be able to tell them? I still don't know that I could.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;">Not to my mother that is for sure. My dad has been open, but I'm not sure how to express the pain. It was awful.</span></span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Things that were said to me that helped: "I loved your father very much and wanted to be with him for life. I was very sad about the divorce." And from my father (during a small window where he seemed to get it): "</span></b><b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I feel like I messed your childhood up. I'm so sorry. I regret so many things. Please forgive me." </span></b><b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Also optimism and confidence that I can lead a great life, and that my parents are proud of me. My mom in particular always approached things with both empathy and a can-do, we're in this together attitude.</span></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: blue;">Nice. Just about everything I want to hear.</span></span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">As for what to say, I think a simple recognition of the failure and its subsequent trauma is enough. Don't justify it, don't smooth it over. And for God's sake, don't tell them that it was "meant to happen" (my mother said this to my young daughter).</span></b><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Don't badmouth each other. Usually, kids love both of their parents. Be grownups. You already messed up by getting a divorce, don't make it worse by making the kids choose sides. And, actually listen to what your kid wants to say without making <i>any</i> excuses.</span></b><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Here's an unrealistic request: How about a long litany of the events that happened in life and how they could have been. (Birthdays, vacations, concerts, sporting events, conversations needed in high school that didn't happen, etc.) Seriously, an acknowledgement of what <i>should have happened</i> at those important times, even if not a comprehensive list, would go a long way to show that the parent "gets it."</span></b><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I don't think there is a particular set of words to say; but the acknowledgement to the child that the dysfunctions and divorce were hurtful to the child will go a long way in healing. </span></b><b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I am very blessed, in that my dad did ask me, not too many years before before he died, if I were angry with him for divorcing my mother. M</span></b><b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">y dad's acknowledgement that I suffered means a great deal to me.</span></b><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">So much has already been said here. All I would add is how children need to hear that they did nothing to cause the divorce and that they are blameless. </span></b><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">There was more, but you get the gist of it. Guys, there is a world of hidden hurt out there and it needs to be addressed. </span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">May God bless all the children of divorce. </span></span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>MARK YOUR CALENDARS!</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>On September 28 at 2:00 pm EST, I am going to be a guest on EWTN's <i><a href="http://www.ewtn.com/tv/live/athomewithjimandjoy.asp">At Home With Jim and Joy</a>! </i>The show will be live, and then it will be repeated a couple of times. I will also be taping an episode of EWTN's <a href="https://www.ewtn.com/bookmark/"><i>Bookmark</i></a> with Doug Keck! I hope everyone in the Bubble family will tune in!</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b>More info to come as we get closer! </b></span><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-58968570752710670292017-06-19T23:30:00.000-07:002017-06-19T23:34:06.441-07:00Patrick Coffin interviews me, re: Primal Loss! <div style="text-align: center;">
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Enjoy this video interview with the wonderful Patrick Coffin, as we talk about <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997989319/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0997989319&linkCode=as2&tag=littcathbubb-20&linkId=dcc923624377d4868ba2c7fe4a2c2b76" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a>. </i>Please excuse the pink walls in my house (long story)!! </div>
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(Friends and family: Don't let the title worry you; my mom and dad are still going strong after 52 years!)</div>
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Aaaaand, I'm still "blogging," but more in the form of my <i><a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/want-catholic-children-teach-them-the-natural-law" target="_blank">Catholic Answers Magazine Online</a></i> articles, the latest of which is here:</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/want-catholic-children-teach-them-the-natural-law" target="_blank">Want Catholic Children? </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/want-catholic-children-teach-them-the-natural-law" target="_blank">Teach Them the Natural Law!</a></span></div>
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Bubble readers, you are ahead of the game, because we have been talking Natural Law here <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2014/07/my-answers-to-questions-about-gay.html">for years</a>! Now is the time to really step it up, and teach our children. After all, we live in a culture that, quite literally, rejects reality itself, so it's a real gift to be able to give our children a firm footing that <i>makes sense</i>, while the rest of the world is falling. By grounding our children and ourselves, we can then be in a position to help others climb out of the chaos. </div>
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And as a reminder, if you miss the conversations here on the blog, I'm quite <a href="https://www.facebook.com/leila.h.miller.1" target="_blank">active on Facebook</a>, and you can friend me <a href="https://www.facebook.com/leila.h.miller.1" target="_blank">there</a>. Just please write me a note when you send a friend request so that I don't confuse you with a troll. </div>
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Have a wonderful week!</div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-76157086967829591522017-06-03T01:23:00.002-07:002017-06-03T14:07:45.354-07:00The systematic silencing of the children of divorce (Or, "What I've learned recently")<div>
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This is a "what I've learned" post.<br />
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It's late, and I'm tired, but sometimes my clearest thoughts come when I just commit to throwing them out on the page, stream of consciousness.</div>
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So here it is. </div>
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As you may know, I've been immersed in a subject that, up until a few months ago, held no real interest for me. I have been teaching the Catholic faith for some 23 years now, and a huge focus for me has been marriage, family, human sexuality, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Chaste-Catholic-Men-Practical/dp/0997989300/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0997989300&pd_rd_r=Z7J77G99A17C9SERMBR6&pd_rd_w=1On7I&pd_rd_wg=FVjxb&psc=1&refRID=Z7J77G99A17C9SERMBR6" target="_blank">raising up holy Catholic kids</a>, fighting the culture war on the redefining (un-defining) of marriage, etc. </div>
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And in all of that teaching, for over two decades of my life, I never much cared or thought about the issue of divorce, aside from lip-service... "Oh, divorce is bad. Yep, it's bad. We Catholics are against it. Yep." And in the meantime, I have looked the other way for the most part, or even tacitly approved of some friends' divorces (much to my shame now).</div>
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Every now and then <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2014/06/im-not-buying-false-dichotomy.html" target="_blank">I would write a blog post about the cop-out that is most divorces</a>, and sometimes I would counsel a Catholic woman not to divorce (usually after the rest of her Catholic girlfriends told her to go "be happy"), but then I put it out of my mind and went back to my intact, uncomplicated life. <----- a fact I never realized until I discovered the complications children of divorce deal with every day. Oh.my.gosh.</div>
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Never in a million years did I think divorce would be "my issue." I simply have no real connection with it. It has not touched my life in a meaningful way.</div>
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What I now understand is that I was blind. I had no idea what was going on all around me, and I couldn't see the walking wounded of divorce, because so many of them appear so incredibly successful and put together. </div>
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Maybe it's more accurate to say that I didn't <i>hear</i> the walking wounded, and neither do you. But that's because--and here it is--they don't speak.</div>
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<i>They don't speak!! </i></div>
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After the rush of adult children of divorce who volunteered to fill out my little divorce questionnaire (98% of them on the condition of complete anonymity), I was exposed to a world that I didn't know existed. Pain, suffering, anger, confusion, sorrow, insecurity, grief, disconnectedness--often many long years, even decades, after the divorce of their parents. So many different circumstances, completely different stories, and yet the same universal feelings. (Since my book was published, the contributors themselves have remarked that they sometimes thought the words of fellow contributors were their own!) </div>
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Because of the silence and the <i>hidden</i> pain, these adult children of divorce did not even know that there were others like them! I could write several blog posts just on that point alone, and how the knowledge of others who understand them has been a huge relief and help in healing. One contributor compared the knowledge and friendship of the others to a reunion of "old war buddies."</div>
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They are all veterans of those wars, indeed, but they thought they were the only ones still nursing the old shrapnel from the explosion that blew apart their families--and their foundational security.</div>
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And that leads me to what I really want to say: The absolute disbelief I have at the<i> unwillingness </i>of much of the general public to hear what the children of divorce have to say. I can't get over it. Every time I post the words of the children of divorce on my Facebook page, two things happen. </div>
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First, I get a flurry of responses from children of divorce (or abandoned spouses), thanking me for giving them a voice. Usually this is done via private message, so as not to out themselves. </div>
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And then, on my page and others' pages (those who post the link or commentary from <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496477851&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss" target="_blank">Primal Loss</a></i>), there are the "divorce defenders." They are not only unhappy with any talk that says divorce harms children, they also want <i>no part</i> in hearing what the 70 contributors to my book have to say. When someone really digs in, touting the beauty and goodness of divorce (and yes, many are Catholic), I have offered to email a free PDF copy of the book, no strings attached, just so they can <i>hear</i> the voices of the children. (Only one woman <i>veeeeeeery</i> reluctantly agreed to receive it, and I have yet to hear back from her.)</div>
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One woman went so far as to question why a book like mine was even written. She asked, repeatedly, <i>What purpose does it serve? Why is it published at all?</i> In fact, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496477851&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss" target="_blank">a book like mine</a>, she said, <i>should not be published</i>. I kid you not.</div>
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So, what is this deeply offensive book? Aside from the introduction and a few other components, it's not my words. In fact, the bulk of the book consists of eight chapters that contain not a single word of mine. Eight chapters of "no Leila." I did not "write" the book. The children of divorce wrote the book. They answered eight simple questions posed to them about their experiences and feelings and thoughts about the breakup of their families. I did not cherry-pick and I did not censor. I let them talk. And yet, that, apparently, is going too far. </div>
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A question I have taken to asking those who resent the book's existence: Do you think that the voices of the children of divorce are <i>too</i> frequently heard? Do they talk <i>too</i> much? Is their view presented <i>too</i> often? Or...could it be the opposite? Could it be that the adults, the divorced parents, the culture of no-fault divorce get the bulk of the time and attention and sympathy? If we are honest, we know it's the latter.</div>
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Seeing how quickly the children of divorce are pounced upon and their perspective invalidated, I now understand why they don't speak, or only speak anonymously (and even then, with terror of being found out). Grown men and women, afraid to say how they really feel about their parents' divorce, even decades later! Why? Because they don't want to hurt their parents, whom they love; because they don't feel secure enough to tell the truth (if one has seen that conflict leads to permanent separation, one learns to avoid conflict); because the divorce narrative cannot be contradicted without serious consequences and penalties; because when they do speak, they are reminded--scolded!--that they are wrong and the divorced parent is right. </div>
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I've seen it happen now, with my own eyes, and it's as shocking to me as it is (now) predictable.</div>
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When my friend Alishia (the inspiration for the book) told me carefully worded and oh, so casual stories over the course of a few years about the effects of her parents' divorce on her life, I encouraged her to write about it--but she always demurred. Turns out, it was wise that she did not write her own book, as that would have set her up as a target... which would have been devastating. Not only would she have been accused of having an ax to grind against her parents, but she would've had to beat a hasty retreat from the onslaught, to protect herself emotionally (something children of divorce learn early). </div>
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As for me, I have no skin in the game. I can take the attacks and not be wounded. I can give the children a place to speak, where they can be free to say what they could never say to their own parents, much less the rest of the divorce-affirming culture. (By the way, I can count on one hand how many of the 70 actually disclosed to their parents that they participated in this book; in fact, most have told only their spouses and <i>very</i> few others; this is how guarded they still are.)</div>
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Okay, it's late (actually early). I've got to get to bed. But please, allow this book to have its place in the divorce discussion. Let the children of divorce have their small say. We hear from the divorced/divorcing adults <i>all the time. </i>Surely there is a little place at the table for those who are <i>most </i>affected and<i> least</i> able to have any say in the break up of their families. </div>
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And please, pray for them. They are incredible and strong, but they have a lot of healing still to do, and I hope we will allow them that. And the healing begins by giving them their voice and actually <i>listening</i> to what they are telling us. </div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496477851&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a></span></i><br />
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The Foreword to the book can be found, now as its own explosive article, here:<br />
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<a href="http://clashdaily.com/2017/06/divorce-enablers-liberal-fantasy-world-wrecking-childrens-lives/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Divorce Enablers</span></a></div>
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Related posts: <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/06/should-children-sit-down-and-shut-up.html" target="_blank">Should the Children Sit Down and Shut Up?</a><br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-21015802127832452912017-05-21T18:21:00.004-07:002017-06-02T17:27:51.356-07:00Paperback is here!! <br />
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Join us on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/320900778330030/?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A%222%22%2C%22ref_dashboard_filter%22%3A%22upcoming%22%2C%22action_history%22%3A%22[%7B%5C%22surface%5C%22%3A%5C%22dashboard%5C%22%2C%5C%22mechanism%5C%22%3A%5C%22main_list%5C%22%2C%5C%22extra_data%5C%22%3A[]%7D]%22%7D" target="_blank">Facebook</a> tomorrow morning if you'd like, for the release event! Yippee!!!<br />
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The paperback of <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce/dp/0997989319/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1495415765&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now Adult Children of Divorce</a></i> is here and can finally be ordered!<br />
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(If you would like a signed copy, send me an email (look at the right sidebar) and I'll tell you how.)<br />
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<span style="color: red;">IMPORTANT:</span><br />
I had to CANCEL the e-book indefinitely (all who pre-ordered will <i>not</i> be charged for it), as I discovered JUST NOW (yes, I'm having a heart attack) that the e-book I uploaded is an older, unedited version.... I am so sorry, and please forgive me if you pre-ordered the e-book. I hope to rectify that soon.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">UPDATE:</span><br />
I just uploaded the correct version and hopefully it will be back online and available in the next day or so! Whew! Again, my apologies if you were one of the pre-orders.<br />
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Thank you for all your support!<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-91020445384295595862017-05-10T13:44:00.003-07:002017-05-10T15:44:50.832-07:00Primal Loss: a preview<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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God willing and the creek don't rise, my second book,<i> Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</i>, will be in your hands on May 22, in both e-book and paperback format (the ebook, and only the ebook, can be pre-ordered <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce-ebook/dp/B06XSCJJ2N/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494448687&sr=8-1&keywords=primal+loss+book" target="_blank">here</a>).<br />
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If you haven't been following all the conversation and drama on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/leila.h.miller.1" target="_blank">my Facebook page</a> over the past few weeks, I want to give you a little taste of it here.<br />
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First, the reviews of the book are in, and I am so humbled and honored to have the encouragement and endorsement of these incredible people, including my faithful and holy shepherd, Bishop Thomas Olmsted:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;"><i>Primal Loss</i> records for us the actual pain of those most wounded by divorce--children. This makes it countercultural in the best of ways. Some suffering today is not allowed to be called suffering. It is not politically correct to say that children suffer greatly from the divorce of their parents. This book needed to be written, and it needs to be read. It will help children of divorce know that they are not wrong in feeling this awful loss, which, once named and brought to Christ and His Cross, can find healing and even be redemptive. It will help all who bear wounds caused by broken marriages, including divorcées themselves, not only to see in truth what has happened, but also to seek the One whose mercy is greater than our sins and whose Cross is our only hope. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">— <b>Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted</b>, Diocese of Phoenix</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">“For I hate divorce, says the Lord” (Malachi 2:16). In Primal Loss, adult children explain the life-long impact of learning that horrific concept that “love stops” because their parents divorced. These voices must not be snuffed out by the political correctness that has silenced the suffering brought on by actions that are deemed sinful by the Church. “Open thy mouth for the dumb, and for the causes of all the children that pass” (Proverbs 31:8 Douay-Rheims). </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">– <b>Monica Breaux, PhD, MSW</b>, Catholic speaker and therapist, 2010 Catholic Social Worker of the Year, creator of Wholly Men and Women programs</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">We all need to listen to the voices in Primal Loss because their pain is significant and motivating. Those in marriages will be inspired to elevate their relationships and inoculate against divorce; those who have suffered should take comfort that they are not alone, and that hope and peace can return.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">—<b>Diane Medved, Ph.D.</b>, psychologist and author of Don’t Divorce: Powerful Arguments For Saving and Revitalizing Your Marriage.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;"> Reading Primal Loss is akin to watching footage of the Hindenburg disaster. Its message is so rivetingly compelling that it's impossible to tear your gaze away, even though it documents a profound tragedy. Regardless of your current views on divorce, this book will impact you deeply."</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">— <b>Patrick Madrid</b>, radio host, author of many books, including Life Lessons: Fifty Things I Learned in My First Fifty Years</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">Primal Loss is shock treatment for anyone rationalizing the effect of a broken home on a child. Leila Miller presents the raw words of adult children of divorce, exposing the myth that “the children are all right.” Every pastor and counselor should read this book! </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">— <b>Leila Marie Lawler</b>, co-author of The Little Oratory: A Beginner's Guide to Praying in the Home</span></span><br />
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In the most bizarre twist that can only be a result of the Holy Spirit, my bishop, prior to writing that review, had given a homily that I just happened to be in the congregation to hear, that just happened to be <i>the first homily in my <b>50 years as a Catholic</b> that</i> <i>spoke directly to<b> the suffering of the children of divorce</b></i>. I almost fell off my pew. My jaw was open the entire rest of the Mass, I am sure. Listen to his words for yourself:<br />
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<a href="https://ihradio.com/2017/04/bishop-olmsteds-elevate-conference-homily/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Bishop Olmsted's Elevate Conference Homily</span></a></div>
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Please share that homily with any children of divorce that you may know. I am not a child of divorce, and I knew very little about this whole subject before I started this project. One thing I have learned--and which has shocked me--is that most children of divorce, even decades later, have never been asked by anyone how they feel/felt about their parents' divorce! They may be asked about <i>why</i> it happened,<i> when</i> it happened, <i>how</i> it happened, and even how their parents are doing, but rarely does anyone ask the child himself. Even therapists seem to give coping or communication skills, but apparently many (most?) do not ask how the child feels and what his thoughts are about the divorce itself.<br />
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There are 70 anonymous contributors to my book. As the project came to a close, I put the word out to them that I was seeking a quote that might encapsulate how they feel about the divorce of their parents, something I could use as a catch-all quote for the back of the book. I was stunned by how quickly I got back an avalanche of words. Here is some of what I got, and this will give you an idea of the kind of pain these people have been keeping inside for decades:<br />
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“My childhood was a lie.”<br />
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“I had to lie about what I thought and felt.”<br />
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“No one took our pain seriously.”<br />
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“I felt lost and alone.”<br />
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“I felt like a tree that had been pulled up and its roots exposed.”<br />
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“I hid my pain, emotions, and everything else until it came to a head in my teens and I had to cut myself for relief.”<br />
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“I knew something was terribly wrong with how my ‘family’ was structured, but I lacked any framework to understand it.”<br />
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“I never knew who to be, since wherever I was, half of who I was was found wanting.”<br />
“They said we were family...”<br />
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“If I’m not the daughter of Mr. and Mrs.____, then who am I?"<br />
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“I still wear a mask to hide my true self.”<br />
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“The children did not get the attention that was so desperately needed.”<br />
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“The divorce was like a storm with unspeakable wreckage.”<br />
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“My heart is broken, and a hole as big as the universe is made in my soul.”<br />
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“I struggle to believe in unconditional love.”<br />
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“My parents moved on, but I’m still picking up the pieces.”<br />
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“Just how many ‘families’ have to be strung together before enough is enough?”<br />
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“Instability, abuse, and depression. Broken homes are terrible for children.”<br />
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“Divorce is a brokenness only God can heal; each story is different, but in each is an experience of great loss.”<br />
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“If my parents couldn’t figure out how to love, where does that leave me?”<br />
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“I feel displaced. Dejected. Despairing.”<br />
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“My family is gone. Forever.”<br />
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“If we can’t learn to fight for love and family from our parents, then from whom?”<br />
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“Children are NOT resilient.”<br />
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“Dear parents, you should have tried harder.”<br />
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“No, the kids are not okay; yes, we are hiding it, because you are not a safe place for us to bring our pain. You may not get it, but it is time we have a voice.”<br />
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“Divorce destroys, always.”<br />
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“Parents are supposed to speak up for their children, not crush their voice.”<br />
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“I’m 50. When do I get to stop protecting my parents and be me?”<br />
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“Every day, I weighed the feelings of my parents and acted accordingly. My entire life felt like a balancing act, beginning at 12 years old. It still does, even at 35.”<br />
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“Yep, kids are resilient. Or so you think they are... until....”<br />
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“Whether six months or 80 years old, the divorce left a lasting wound that we deal with every day, and only God consoles us.”<br />
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“They were unhappy and they separated. I pretended to be happy so they wouldn’t leave me, too.”<br />
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“Divorce is a loss. A loss of marriage. A loss of family. A loss of life once known. And with loss comes pain and grieving. Shouldn’t the child of divorce be allowed to express his pain and be given time to grieve?”<br />
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^^That was answered by another, who said: “To allow that would be to admit they did something damaging. Most people refuse to see it that way.”<br />
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“Watch the Hindenburg crash... that is what divorce is like.”<br />
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^^That was answered by another, who said: “In slower--more excruciating--motion.”<br />
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“Where is this resiliency that everyone is talking about?????!!!!! I mean that.”<br />
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“They said we would be resilient, but they were just pushing our pain under the rug.”<br />
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“The divorce forever changed who I was. I was a carefree, trusting, and joyful child. Divorce took my innocent childhood and replaced it with hurt and rejection, and I was lost. I do not get close to others. I just cannot handle rejection. It changed everything.”<br />
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"My sister and I weren’t given a chance to grieve the divorce because society sees it as 'normal' now--so we were supposed to be fine.”<br />
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“My family was an organic whole in its own right. Tearing that into two pieces tore ME into two pieces. That is not something I will ever recover from fully.”<br />
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“It’s like learning to live with a physical disability after being hit by a drunk driver. At least car crash victims are not lied to about their disability and are not told to be resilient so that the person who crashed into them feels better.”<br />
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“Tore me into a zillion pieces.”<br />
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“If you would’ve asked me how I was doing, I would’ve said ‘fine.’ That was a big fat lie.”<br />
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“Only the grace of God could restore what was broken!”<br />
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“The crosses of marriage were never meant to be transferred to the children.”<br />
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“I was expected to ‘just be happy’.”<br />
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“It wasn’t for the best, especially not for the children.”<br />
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“If they only knew how left behind I felt.”<br />
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“You said I’d be happy because you’d be happy. You were wrong.”<br />
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“I was given the message that if I was sad or hurt or struggling it was somehow my fault, because the divorce ‘fixed’ everything, and everyone else was great.”<br />
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“It was implied that any struggles or sadness I felt from the divorce was due to my weakness or selfishness.”<br />
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“The divorce culture is a culture of lies. Ours is a generation raised in the shadow of these lies.”<br />
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“Even though gaslighting is a very strong term, that's how I feel about so much of my childhood.”<br />
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And on and on....<br />
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For these adult children of divorce, the floodgates have been opened. How many others, millions, have never said a word?<br />
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Pray for all those who live with the pain and the scars of divorce every day.<br />
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PS: Due to some very unfortunate events, I have had to put the comments on "moderate." Thank you for understanding.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-11841735227488274442017-04-18T01:31:00.000-07:002017-04-18T01:31:36.906-07:00Introducing...<br />
... grandbaby #5!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Todd Xavier Miller!!!</span></div>
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Yes, my oldest son and his lovely wife had their little baby boy a week and a half ago, and I was able to spend a week with them in North Carolina! I am absolutely in love, and can you blame me?!! I miss him (and his awesome parents) already, but I was so thrilled and honored to accompany him, the day that I left, to his very first mass--Easter Mass! </div>
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Here he is on Good Friday, right before we prayed a Divine Mercy Chaplet with him (again, his first!).</div>
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Meanwhile, at the end of March I turned 50 (which I hope to write about soon, because I've got some reflections I'd like to share), my book, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Loss-Now-Adult-Children-Divorce-ebook/dp/B06XSCJJ2N" target="_blank">Primal Loss</a></i>, is coming along swimmingly, and <a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/i-was-astonished-to-find-this-in-the-catechism" target="_blank">my second article for Catholic Answers</a> just published. </div>
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As I think Todd would agree, life is good!</div>
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A blessed Easter Season to you all--and yes, it's a <a href="http://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/liturgical-year/easter/" target="_blank">whole season</a>, not just a day!</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">HE IS RISEN!!!!</span></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-1784570284772790742017-03-27T09:54:00.005-07:002017-03-27T14:45:02.645-07:00You must know these eight things the Catholic Church teaches on divorce<br />
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Twenty-three years ago, <a href="http://catholic.com/" target="_blank">Catholic Answers</a> helped bring me back into the fullness of the Catholic Faith. In fact, this amazing organization was the very catalyst for that sea change in my life, <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2012/11/this-is-my-story-it-might-be-your-story.html" target="_blank">after my mom's famous words to me</a>. I had no internet yet, but I read many tracts and books and magazines from Catholic Answers and was set on fire for the Faith.<br />
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So you can imagine why I am thrilled to tell you that I've had my first article published by Catholic Answers! I will be writing once a month for CA's <a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine" target="_blank">online magazine</a>, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity!<br />
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This month, I chose to write about the Church's teaching on divorce. Not because I am the child of divorce or divorced myself (I am neither), but because I am stunned at what I never knew until recently. We Catholics don't seem to know or understand the very clear and pointed teachings of Our Lord and his Church on this matter. Regrettably, even many priests are unaware of these teachings, which has led to poor counsel and untold heartache.<br />
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Here is my quick, easy primer; please read it all, and spread the word. The more we know and understand, the better for all of us, especially children.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/eight-things-you-have-to-know-about-the-churchs-teaching-on-divorce" target="_blank">Eight Things You Have to Know About the Church's Teaching on Divorce</a></span></div>
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As I've mentioned recently, I'm much more active on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/leila.h.miller.1/posts/10155145950118695?pnref=story" target="_blank">my Facebook page</a> these days than here on the blog, and there was an interesting discussion that followed my posting of this article there--including this comment from Christopher Brennan near the end of that thread (emphasis mine):</div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">Your whole article is straight out of the <i>Catechism</i>, is founded in Scripture, and as I read these comments, this seems to be news to a lot of people....</span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The fact is, life is about the cross. <b><i>Take everything TV and movies say about marriage and throw it out the window. </i></b>Marriage is a great source of joy. But real joy and peace comes from the cross. (Also in Scripture and the <i>Catechism</i> and 2000 years of wisdom passed on.) Some marriages will be exceptionally difficult. So what? There's a million things that can befall a person that would make life difficult. We are still bound by moral rules. </span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">The points in this article need to be preached over and over and over. They used to be well understood. They need to be made that way again.</span></blockquote>
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On that note, I have news to share about my latest book. <i>Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</i> is available for pre-sale for the Kindle/e-book version only. There will be a paperback version as well, but that version is not available for pre-sale. Both e-book and paperback will be officially published on May 22 (God willing!).<br />
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I have 70 contributors total, and their own words make up the bulk of the book. <i>Primal Loss</i> is not a "how to recover and heal from your parents' divorce" book (although there will be hope and help discussed and offered). It's a book of unmasking the pain and telling the truth about the short- and long-term effects of divorce on children. It ain't pretty.<br />
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My hope is that those contemplating divorce will read it and reverse course. I already know that it will make the adult children of divorce feel much less alone. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinPPISsIdHfuoqp2X6OTU8ab6deZVHDJ7xlArWA5w2ocxy885lUAJXP6utWYQOuyBS5lSZ0018XIprxpZqrhRMFPae2pXulByB81rCAvIEHvlsAFVygNtOdg_ldfLOSVDTPgOFh_yaiglh/s1600/PRIMALLOSSCOVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinPPISsIdHfuoqp2X6OTU8ab6deZVHDJ7xlArWA5w2ocxy885lUAJXP6utWYQOuyBS5lSZ0018XIprxpZqrhRMFPae2pXulByB81rCAvIEHvlsAFVygNtOdg_ldfLOSVDTPgOFh_yaiglh/s640/PRIMALLOSSCOVER.jpg" width="408" /></a></div>
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The Amazon description of the book:<br />
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Seventy now-adult children of divorce give their candid and often heart-wrenching answers to eight questions (arranged in eight chapters, by question), including: What were the main effects of your parents' divorce on your life? What do you say to those who claim that "children are resilient" and "children are happy when their parents are happy"? What would you like to tell your parents then and now? What do you want adults in our culture to know about divorce? What role has your faith played in your healing? </blockquote>
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Their simple and poignant responses are difficult to read and yet not without hope. Most of the contributors--women and men, young and old, single and married--have never spoken of the pain and consequences of their parents' divorce until now. They have often never been asked, and they believe that no one really wants to know. Despite vastly different circumstances and details, the similarities in their testimonies are striking; as the reader will discover, the death of a child's family strikes the human heart in universal ways. </blockquote>
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Pre-order the e-book here, to be delivered to your device on May 22: </div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XSCJJ2N/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B06XSCJJ2N&linkCode=as2&tag=littcathbubb-20&linkId=4a0722042ca0635b94b4b2ff59f21709" target="_blank">Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</a><br />
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To repeat: The paperback will be available on May 22, 2017, but is not available for pre-sale.<br />
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Please pray for me as I work to finish this project. I consider this work as a sacred trust; these seventy souls have entrusted to me the stories of the deaths of their families--stories that most children of divorce don't tell and that most people don't really want to hear.<br />
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God has given me a great passion for marriage and family (and the effects of divorce) all of a sudden, so don't expect me to shut up about it anytime soon. After all, as Sister Lucia, one of the seers at Fatima, said, <a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/bharnwell/the-family-is-the-battlefield-in-a-great-spiritual-battle" target="_blank">the final battle between the Lord and the reign of Satan will be about marriage and the family</a>. Let's be on the right side of that fight!<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-3687806285537310512017-03-23T08:48:00.000-07:002017-03-23T08:48:09.923-07:00My son demonstrates his enthusiasm for A Family of Faith!<br />
One of the great perks of having this blog is the opportunity to preview new Catholic books and programs. I don't end up endorsing them all, but <a href="https://www.sophiainstitute.com/products/family-of-faith" target="_blank">this catechetical series for children</a> from the wonderful Sophia Press (and endorsed by Scott Hahn and Patrick Madrid) is so worthy.<br />
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I am passionate about good catechesis (that's an understatement), which has been so lacking in recent decades in America. We have lost possibly two generations now, due to poor catechesis.<br />
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I think that's inexcusable.<br />
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So when I see a beautiful and thorough program like <i><a href="https://www.sophiainstitute.com/products/family-of-faith" target="_blank">A Family of Faith</a></i>, I want to shout it from the rooftops! This program is designed for both parish and family use, so it covers everyone. It even catechizes the parents themselves, the very same parents who are using the books to teach their children.<br />
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We have to do this, friends. We have to do better, and this is a means to that end.<br />
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What is interesting about this series is how quickly my own son Matthew was drawn to the books, and how enthusiastic he was about diving in! I was honestly surprised and thrilled to see that, so I grabbed my phone and took a spontaneous video, which I now I share with you:<br />
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Matthew was actually really excited that I was going to post this on the blog. :)</div>
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Anyway, the series includes an activity book, a parent's guide (home setting), and a leader's guide (parish setting).</div>
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And how cool is this? You can <a href="https://www.sophiainstitute.com/information/tour-family-of-faith" target="_blank">schedule a "tour" of the series</a> to see if you love it. </div>
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The books are high quality, glossy, beautiful--not schlocky or amateurish--and I was highly, highly impressed. Obviously, so was Matthew. </div>
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Please spread the word. We have to turn things around for future generations, and that begins by teaching them the Faith <i>well.</i> </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-70291359363578590222017-03-15T13:50:00.002-07:002017-03-15T13:50:23.587-07:00Sheen: The two trap-doors God put into your soul <br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Today I came across one of <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2010/12/this-ones-for-you-grandpa-merry.html" target="_blank">my grandfather</a>'s old books. <i>The Love That Waits for You</i>, by (then) Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen, 1949. I loved this part, excerpted from pages 9-11, and it makes a good Lenten meditation....</span><br />
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When God made you, He put two trap-doors into your soul, and through them the Love that waits for you breaks in on you, though you may not always recognize Him.<br />
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<b> <span style="font-size: large;">The first of these trap-doors is your love of goodness. </span></b><br />
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In chasing after the isolated tidbits of what is good, your soul is really in pursuit of Goodness, and Goodness is God. Your every quest for excitement, your every love of a good friend, your every comparison of good and better, implies some Goodness beyond all good things, and therefore is a want of God.<br />
To say that you want good things but not Goodness which is God-ness, is just like saying you like the sunbeams but you hate the sun....<br />
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<b> <span style="font-size: large;">The second trap-door by which God enters your soul is your ennui, your satiety, your fed-upness, your loneliness, your melancholy, your sadness.</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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Every libido, every passion, every craving of the body is finite, concrete, carnal, and therefore bores you, but there is still one choice that has never been made, one great chord that has not yet been struck, and that is the infinite.<br />
Your ennui means there is still something to be had; you possess, but not all; you know, but not everything; you love, but not always....<br />
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There is not a single soul among you at which God has not knocked thousands of times....<br />
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Your discontent, confusion, fear and unhappiness is His way of telling you that you are restless without Him for Whom you were made....<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-19694808898713848932017-03-06T16:01:00.000-07:002017-03-06T16:01:51.109-07:00If you or someone you know is a student at a Catholic high school or university, please share....<br />
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I'll be speaking again (my third time, yay!) in Reston, Virginia, just outside of Washington DC, for Young America's Foundation's <a href="http://www.yaf.org/events/faith-freedom-retreat/" target="_blank"><i>Standing Up for Faith and Freedom</i> seminar</a>, which takes place April 7 & 8, 2017.<br />
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<a href="http://www.yaf.org/events/faith-freedom-retreat/" target="_blank">This program</a> is amazing, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a speaker, ha ha. Two full days of articulate and exciting conservative speakers will teach students how to counter and resist the overwhelmingly leftist political agendas that are often forced upon him or her at school.<br />
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In the words of Kristan Hawkins, president of Students for Life of America:<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.yaf.org/events/faith-freedom-retreat/" target="_blank">Standing Up for Faith & Freedom</a></i> teaches students of all faiths attending Catholic schools that Catholic teaching is consistent with the conservative principles of human dignity and human freedom.</blockquote>
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Believe it or not, the cost of the program is (wait for it) $20! I am not kidding. It's only $20 for the program, <b>and that includes materials, two nights lodging, and four meals</b>. The participant just has to get there.<br />
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I'm at the very end of this 1-minute video, so check it out, just for fun:<br />
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Register (or get more info) <a href="http://www.yaf.org/events/faith-freedom-retreat/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Hope to see you there!<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-59571950957488497092017-03-01T09:02:00.001-07:002017-03-01T23:39:40.891-07:00Here are my suggestions for a simple, but powerfully fruitful, Lent!<br />
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So many good Lenten ideas out there, and so much information, so I've whittled it down to some basics.<br />
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First, for a general overview of Lent and lots of quick facts, go here:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/overviews/seasons/lent/" target="_blank">Lenten Workshop</a></span></div>
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Next, I really love my daughter-in-law Larabeth's list of easy suggestions for sacrifices during Lent. You could either do all of them one time, or pick a couple of them to do repeatedly:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://aplaceinhisgarden.blogspot.com/2017/02/crucifixion-list-for-lent.html" target="_blank">Crucifixion List for Lent</a></span></div>
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A few of my favorites from her list:<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">2. When having an argument with someone, try to let him speak first. Truly listen to what he is saying and let him finish his explanation. Don't think about your response until he is done and you understand him. </span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000;">9. Do something to care for your parish priest. Offer to cook a meal appropriate for Lent, do a chore around the parish or rectory, or simply say a novena for him. </span> </blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000;">14. Read through the lives of the Saints and find your new best friend.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000;">18. Take the time to thoughtfully encourage at least two people.</span></blockquote>
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Also, my friend Tracy Smith has an amazing post on what she and her family do for Lent, and the beauty is in the <i>simplicity</i> of activities!<br />
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It's not too late to make the Crown of Thorns or do the Bean Jar! I'm the <i>worst</i> when it comes to "crafty," and yet even I am doing those two.<br />
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In fact, the bean jar was a huge hit this morning (my boys were falling all over themselves thinking of "sacrifices" they could make in order to be able to put a bean in the jar (wait'll you/they see what happens to that jar on Easter morning!!).<br />
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And tonight after Mass, we are going to make the crown of thorns (yes, I'm a little behind!):<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.asliceofsmithlife.com/2017/02/ash-wednesday-and-our-familys-lenten.html" target="_blank">Ash Wednesday and Our Family's </a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.asliceofsmithlife.com/2017/02/ash-wednesday-and-our-familys-lenten.html" target="_blank">Lenten Traditions</a></span></div>
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Finally, I encourage you to go through the "traditional" Lent posts that I have used more than once here on the Bubble. Venerable Fulton J. Sheen's 1940 meditations on <i>The Seven Last Words and the Seven Virtues </i>are so powerful, and shockingly relevant for us today in our wildly secular culture. I've broken down his words into easily digestible excerpts; check it out:<br />
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-seven-last-words-and-seven-virtues.html" target="_blank">The First Word: </a></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-seven-last-words-and-seven-virtues.html" target="_blank">"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-seven-last-words-and-seven-virtues.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue: </a></div>
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<b><i><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-seven-last-words-and-seven-virtues.html" target="_blank">Fortitude</a></i></b></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-ii-second-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Second Word:</a></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-ii-second-word-and.html" target="_blank">"This Day Thou Shalt Be With Me In Paradise."</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-ii-second-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue:</a></div>
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<b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-ii-second-word-and.html" target="_blank">Hope</a></b></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iii-third-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Third Word:</a></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iii-third-word-and.html" target="_blank">"Woman, behold thy son…. (Son) behold thy mother."</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iii-third-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue:</a></div>
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<b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iii-third-word-and.html" target="_blank">Prudence</a></b></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iv-fourth-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Fourth Word:</a></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iv-fourth-word-and.html" target="_blank">"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iv-fourth-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue:</a></div>
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<b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-iv-fourth-word-and.html" target="_blank">Faith</a></b></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-v-fifth-word-and.html" target="_blank">"I thirst."</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-v-fifth-word-and.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue:</a></div>
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<b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-v-fifth-word-and.html" target="_blank">Temperance</a></b></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-vi-good-friday-sixth.html" target="_blank">The Sixth and Seventh Words (Good Friday):</a></div>
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<i><b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-vi-good-friday-sixth.html" target="_blank">"It is consummated … Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit."</a></b></i></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-vi-good-friday-sixth.html" target="_blank">The Corresponding Virtue:</a></div>
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<b><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/03/fulton-sheen-part-vi-good-friday-sixth.html" target="_blank">Justice and Charity</a></b></div>
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/04/final-sheen-post-easter-so-appropriate.html" target="_blank">And finally, <b>Easter</b>.</a></div>
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(You might want to wait until Easter to read!)</div>
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Have a most blessed and fruitful Lent, my friends! Let us keep our eyes fixed firmly on the Cross of Christ, as we unite ourselves to Him. </div>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-72060230904129321362017-02-19T11:20:00.000-07:002017-02-28T16:30:50.059-07:00Two courageous women, two evil court rulings<br />
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<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2011/08/catholics-your-misguided-compassion.html" target="_blank">Long ago, I warned that Christians' misguided compassion would come back to bite them in the rear</a>, and since that day, things have gotten so much worse. We Christians apparently still wish to be loved by the popular culture, and we don't seem to realize that the more we appease the beast, the more vicious the beast becomes.<br />
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<a href="https://stream.org/shame-silent-christian-leaders-refuse-stand-government-tyranny/" target="_blank">Here is the latest</a>, out of the very left-wing, very secular Washington State:<br />
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By a <b>unanimous, 9-0 decision</b>, the Washington Supreme Court...<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">... ruled that this 72-year-old grandmother [Barronelle Stutzman] who had employed gay workers and served gay customers for years, was <i>required by law</i> to participate in a gay wedding, even though this constituted a direct violation of her religious beliefs — beliefs which have been consistent and almost universally held among Christians for the last 2,000 years. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000;">Not only so, but the court upheld the attack on her personal assets as well — <b>her house, her savings, her retirement funds — by requiring her “to pay the <i>attorneys’ fees that the ACLU racked up in suing her,</i>” fees which could reach as high as one million dollars. </b>[emphasis mine]</span></blockquote>
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This kind and decent florist stated the following to the state's attorney general, regarding her motives and beliefs, and her refusal to accept an offer of "settlement":<br />
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<span style="color: purple;">You don’t really understand me or what this conflict is all about. It’s about freedom, not money. I certainly don’t relish the idea of losing my business, my home, and everything else that your lawsuit threatens to take from my family, but my freedom to honor God in doing what I do best is more important. Washington’s constitution guarantees us “freedom of conscience in all matters of religious sentiment.” I cannot sell that precious freedom. You are asking me to walk in the way of a well-known betrayer, one who sold something of infinite worth for 30 pieces of silver. That is something I will not do. </span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: purple;">I pray that you reconsider your position. I kindly served Rob [the 'gay' plaintiff] for nearly a decade and would gladly continue to do so. I truly want the best for my friend. I’ve also employed and served many members of the LGBT community, and I will continue to do so regardless of what happens with this case. You chose to attack my faith and pursue this not simply as a matter of law, but to threaten my very means of working, eating, and having a home. If you are serious about clarifying the law, then I urge you to drop your claims against my home, business, and other assets and pursue the legal claims through the appeal process.</span></blockquote>
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I pray that the Supreme Court will eventually hear her case and undo the evil judgment that has been rendered against her.<br />
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I'll tell you what: I would not want to be one of those nine Washington judges when the ultimate Judgment is meted out by the Just Judge at the Day of Reckoning. Shudder. Pray for them; they need it.<br />
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Please read the short piece, here, and consider sharing on your social media. It will not go well with us if we continue to remain silent:<br />
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<a href="https://stream.org/shame-silent-christian-leaders-refuse-stand-government-tyranny/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Shame on the Silent Christian Leaders </span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://stream.org/shame-silent-christian-leaders-refuse-stand-government-tyranny/" target="_blank">Who Refuse to Stand Against Government Tyranny</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Barronelle Stutzman (<a href="http://alliancedefendingfreedom.org/" target="_blank">Alliance Defending Freedom</a>)</span></div>
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We welcome any liberals of good will who will stand with us on this important issue of freedom of conscience, even if they disagree with us on gay "marriage". They will surely face a particular ridicule, venom, and attack if they speak against the liberal orthodoxy, but I beg liberals of good will to do what is right.<br />
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And if you want to understand how we got here, I implore you, <a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2016/06/professor-robert-p-george-on-whats.html" target="_blank">watch Princeton's Professor Robert P. George explain</a>. Take the time. It's so worth it. I was in the audience the night he gave the following talk, sitting next to our amazing Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, who nodded his head throughout. Some of our bishops truly understand, and we, as the laity, also have an obligation to <b>SPEAK</b>.<br />
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Stop being afraid, my friends! Cultivate the virtue of courage. It gets easier as you practice courage, I promise! God will give you the grace you need. Do you trust Him enough to take care of you, just as florist Barronelle Stutzman trusts?<br />
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And now to another strong and courageous woman, an unlikely pro-life hero who stood up against the powers-that-be. </div>
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Yesterday, we lost this wonderful lady, <a href="http://www.ncregister.com/blog/JMorana/a-remembrance-of-norma-mccorvey-1947-2017" target="_blank">Norma McCorvey, aka Jane Roe</a>, the plaintiff in the tragic <i>Roe vs. Wade</i> abortion ruling. After years of being used and abused by the pro-"choice" side -- she never did have an abortion, and her little girl was placed for adoption, by the way -- she was won by love (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Won-Love-Norma-Mccorvey/dp/0785272372" target="_blank">wrote a book by that name</a>), became a Christian, and joined the pro-life movement. </div>
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Norma ultimately became a devout Catholic, fighting for the remainder of her days and with all her heart and soul against the evil Supreme Court decision that bears her name. May God welcome His good and faithful servant, His beloved daughter, to her heavenly reward. She had a hard life; may she have eternal rest. </div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-14531357532033271772017-02-12T21:21:00.000-07:002017-02-12T21:23:58.409-07:00Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse on "Healing Family Breakdown" retreats <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Dear friends, I'm going to be doing and saying a lot on the marriage and divorce front in the next few months, as I get closer to releasing my next book, </i><b>Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak</b><i>. As a woman blessed with an intact family (my parents have been married 52 years), I had no idea what divorce does to children, other than the fact that I knew it was painful and they suffer. I took my parents' marriage for granted, and I barely gave a thought to what my life would have been like had they divorced. <span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-size: 12px;"></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">After reading through and editing the words of almost sixty </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">adult</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> children of divorce for my book, I can no longer turn a blind eye to family </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">breakdown. </span></span></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I want to introduce you to the <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/" target="_blank">Ruth Institute</a>'s Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, whom I have admired for many years, before she ever knew who I was. She is doing so much good work, and I cannot say enough about her, her colleague Jennifer Johnson, and the mission of the <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/" target="_blank">Ruth Institute</a>. Please take a moment to learn about one of the Institute's latest programs, from Dr. Roback Morse herself:</span></i></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Divorce hurts kids. The wounds do not go away. When I saw the extensive discussion on Leila’s Facebook feed, I knew I wanted to share this report with you, her readers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">Since 2013, the Ruth Institute has been creating materials and programs designed to assist what we call the Survivors of the Sexual Revolution. Our thinking is that every round of the Sexual Revolution has harmed millions of people. Future developments destabilizing marriage, including genderless marriage, will continue to harm even more people, even more deeply. Yet, the constituency for natural marriage has been eroded, due to the relentless promotion of the redefinition of marriage and related topics. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">The <b>Healing Family Breakdown Half-Day Retreat </b>is the latest of our innovative programs to help people see the connection between family breakdown in general, the ideology of the Sexual Revolution and the harms they personally have experienced. The Ruth Institute held its second <b>Healing Family Breakdown Half-Day Retreat</b> on February 4, 2017 in Lake Charles, Louisiana. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">The Retreat succeeded in several important respects. Participants: </span></div>
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<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">learned empathy for their family members </span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">felt permission to experience whatever emotions they may have had about the disruptions in their families. </span></span></li>
<li style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: normal;"></span><span style="font-kerning: none;">pledged to stay involved in further Ruth Institute educational programs. </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">The Retreat consists of a combination of short talks, guided meditations, and small group discussions. This format gives people the chance to do more than just learn about family breakdown in the abstract. The Retreat format allows people to process the full impact of family breakdown on their families. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">This <b>Retreat</b> is a multi-generational event. We held it at the Catholic Student Center at McNeese State University in Lake Charles. Naturally, students attended. Because of our contacts in the whole community, adults of all ages attended. The mix of ages allowed people to hear the story of family breakdown from the perspective of others in their families. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">One woman said, “My son, from my first marriage, got kicked out of school at age 8. He told me that he felt as if he didn’t really fit into the family. I couldn’t understand what he meant until I heard others talking about their experiences today.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">A young woman said, “My parents are divorced and I have issues with my dad. One man at my table, who has been divorced twice, is struggling with his daughter. I feel as if I can see my dad’s point of view in a way I never could before. Listening to him helped me a lot.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">We introduced people to the concept of “disenfranchised grief.” This refers to a social situation in which people feel that they are not permitted to feel their sadness. My colleague, Jennifer Johnson contrasts the loss of a parent through death, with the losses of divorce. Grieving the death of a parent is perfectly understandable and socially acceptable. But the child of divorce or a reluctantly divorced spouse often has no space in the family system for grieving their losses. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">People seemed to feel relieved that they could experience the full range of feelings associated with the disruption of their families. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">Our goal at the <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/" target="_blank">Ruth Institute</a> is to build up a network of people who can offer these Retreats in their own communities. After all, Jennifer and I cannot be everywhere at once! All these people will be better spokespeople for marriage within the wider culture. They will see the connection between the ideology of the Sexual Revolution and the serious harms they and their loved ones have endured. And most importantly, they will not be talked out of any of this by a slick advertising campaign, promoting the next round of sexual adventures or family deconstruction. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-kerning: none;">The campus minister, Fr. Nathan Long, </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">concurred with us that this </span><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Retreat</b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> was a spirit-filled event that benefitted everyone who attended. We are looking forward to spreading this new program throughout the cities where we have contacts, and beyond.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-kerning: none;">Thank you to the Little Catholic Bubble Readers, for doing your part to support the Children of Divorce, the Reluctantly Divorced, and other Survivors of the Sexual Revolution. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You can learn more about the Healing Family Breakdown Retreats <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/events/healing-family-breakdown"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(4, 99, 193); color: #0463c1;">here</span></a>. The Ruth Institute <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/store"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(4, 99, 193); color: #0463c1;">Store</span></a> has a variety of pamphlets, reports, and books to support healing. You may also wish to share your story of family breakdown and surviving the Sexual Revolution on our <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/tell-ruth-the-truth"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(4, 99, 193); color: #0463c1;">Tell Ruth the Truth blog</span></a>. Or, just <a href="http://www.ruthinstitute.org/make-a-difference/subscribe-to-our-newsletter"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(4, 99, 193); color: #0463c1;">subscribe</span></a> to our free weekly newsletter, and receive a free gift. </span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you, Dr. Roback Morse!!</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bubble readers, please feel free to share this with your friends and family, and with your diocese if they would be interested in hosting a Healing Family Breakdown Retreat. </span></i></div>
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<div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-43582522114866331342017-01-22T14:29:00.000-07:002017-01-22T14:40:15.631-07:00The marchers don't need men to degrade them<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: right;">One of the milder photos. The <a href="http://amgreatness.com/2017/01/19/tawt-taw-pussyhat/" target="_blank">"pussyhats"</a> were everywhere.</td></tr>
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Donald Trump's got nothing on the participants of yesterday's "Women's March" themselves.<br />
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The female marchers degraded themselves so much more profoundly and efficiently than any lecherous man ever could.<br />
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What Trump said years ago in a secretly recorded video was terrible. It was a loathsome way to talk about women; it disparaged women, marriage, and human dignity itself.<br />
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Trump's words, however, never made me ashamed to be a woman. Yesterday's march did.<br />
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I won't post the disgusting photos on my page, but please, click these links and read/observe all. See what was said at this march, listen to the speakers, look at the photos, look at the signs. Take in the scene, figure out the themes (it won't be hard to do):<br />
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<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4142950/Thousands-women-head-Washington-protest-Trump.html" target="_blank">Thousands of Women Head to Washington to Protest Donald Trump</a><br />
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<a href="http://thefederalist.com/2017/01/22/heres-what-we-saw-at-the-womens-march-in-washington-d-c/" target="_blank">Here's What We Saw at the Women's March in Washington</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/womens-march-signs_us_5883c27ee4b0e3a735698332?whdq5iq1kf2gvcayvi" target="_blank">(More signs)</a></div>
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The vastness of the proud display of vileness and evil was shocking. How far have so many women fallen from an embrace of the virtues, from simple common decency. It is shocking how many of our sisters, living in the freest nation in the history of mankind, have become as crude and shameless as the depraved men they decry.<br />
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Think about it, logically, for a minute: How did the women of the "Women's March" respond to their disgust of Trump's degrading words? <i>By <b>degrading themselves</b> on a scale worse than anything Trump ever said. </i>Multiply what he did by a million, and you start to get the picture<i>.</i><br />
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As one friend put it:<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">I watched some coverage of the 'Women's March' in DC and I have to say: I saw and heard MORE foul language, MORE crude terms for female and male genitalia, MORE misogyny (and even misandry), MORE mockery, MORE derision, MORE thuggishness, MORE rudeness, MORE law-breaking and MORE lunacy in those few minutes than I ever saw from Donald Trump in the 18 months of his campaign.</span></blockquote>
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Who but the devil himself could have concocted such a plan? Take the evil, and multiply it! Make throngs of proud, elated, deluded souls feel as if they are giving women dignity, when they are doing exactly the opposite. Deceive them into believing they are lifting women up to the sky, when they are actually smashing women down into the filthiest muck.<br />
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It's a trick from the pit of hell, but that's the point. These women are blinded.<br />
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In its essence, the entire anti-Trump march was nothing more than a pro-abortion, pro-LGBT march. No one can plausibly deny it. The <a href="https://www.womensmarch.com/sponsors/" target="_blank">names of the sponsoring groups</a> prove it. The <a href="http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/01/18/womens-march-on-washington-revokes-partnership-of-another-pro-life-group/" target="_blank">explicit rejection of pro-life women's groups</a> confirm it.<br />
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My hope and my prayer is the crux of Christian mission: That Donald Trump's sins are not imitated and multiplied, but that his sins are met with virtue. Not only our own virtue, as citizens, but that the people surrounding Trump would present him with the alternative: A witness of Christian truth. A witness of prayer and goodness. And guess what? As far as I can tell, that is what has happened to Donald Trump in the past few months. He has been surrounded by good, prayerful Christians who have, by all their accounts, seen him change. Let's pray it continues.<br />
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Any Christian who mocks the possibility and the movement toward redemption of President Trump has missed the point of our Faith.<br />
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Redemption of sinners <i>is the point</i> of our Faith!<br />
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While Trump has apologized for the words he spoke in the past -- and so what if the catalyst for that was his public humiliation? If any of us had our sordid pasts exposed and were moved to betterment, that's a good thing! -- the women who (literally) hate him <i>have become like him</i>. Times a million.<br />
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And no, it's not somehow better because the women degrade themselves, it's worse. Far better that someone sins mortally against me than I sin mortally myself.<br />
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Dear Lord, what have we become?<br />
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To the good Catholic women and men who went to this pro-abortion march to make a pro-life presence known, to plant seeds, to reach lost souls, I applaud you. We need you. You are full of courage. Thank you.<br />
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But to see some good Catholics openly supporting this march? Well, at first I was truly stunned, and next my heart broke. To the claim that the march had "some" worthy messages and would promote "some" good, I say <i>same with Planned Parenthood</i>. Planned Parenthood does STD testing and very basic cancer screening, for example. These are "some" good things we can identify in a terribly evil organization. But no faithful Catholic would proudly, happily march in a Planned Parenthood parade and excuse the overriding evil of the thing, would they?<br />
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Women of the march who hate Donald Trump:<br />
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<i>You multiplied him over a million times.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>You slimed us all.<br />
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That's not a win. You lose. Women lose. Men lose. Children lose. We all lose.<br />
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God forgive us.<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;">To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. <b>The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women. </b> </span>-- Venerable Fulton J. Sheen</blockquote>
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240447238522390484.post-88294486641961280262017-01-15T08:56:00.002-07:002018-09-24T22:05:23.658-07:00Parents, do you know what the latency period is?<br />
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I admit that I was shocked to learn that many (most?) young and not-so-young Catholic moms in my Facebook book club were unfamiliar with what the Church calls "the latency period." We were going over the first three chapters of my book, <i><a href="https://www.holyheroes.com/Raising-Chaste-Catholic-Men-p/rccm.htm" target="_blank">Raising Chaste Catholic Men</a></i>, and I discovered that this was a new term to most of the women who commented. I decided, and was encouraged, to put this in a blog post, so here we are!<br />
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An excerpt from Chapter Three, "When They Are Little":<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">Most of what you need to know about chastity and your sons’ [and daughters'] early years can be summed up in two sentences:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">1. Respect the latency period.</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">2. Don’t freak out about stuff.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">The <b>latency period</b>, or what St. John Paul II called the “years of innocence,” spans from about age 5 to puberty and is easy enough to understand. From <i><a href="http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html" target="_blank">The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality [Guidelines for Education Within the Family]</a></i>:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">This period of tranquility and serenity must never be disturbed by unnecessary information about sex. During those years, before any physical sexual development is evident, it is normal for the child's interests to turn to other aspects of life…. So as not to disturb this important natural phase of growth, parents will recognize that prudent formation in chaste love during this period should be indirect, in preparation for puberty, when direct information will be necessary. [#78]</span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #990000;">Our Church tells us to respect the latency period of children, which would ideally last until the child hits adolescence; however, we live in a society that does not respect a child’s innocence. In fact, the world around us seeks to destroy innocence, by design. The educational establishment, advertisers, books, movies, television, and video games — all push to sexualize children at a young age. In fact, entities like <a href="http://www.familiesaretalking.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.ViewPage&pageId=514" target="_blank">SIECUS</a> and Planned Parenthood, which have routine access to public schools, believe that children should be immersed in secular, relativistic sex education from birth. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">What to do when the latency period is violated? We must step in. Again, from the Church: </span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">A further problem arises when children receive premature sex information from the mass media or from their peers who have been led astray or received premature sex education. In this case, parents will have to begin to give carefully limited sexual information, usually to correct immoral and erroneous information or to control obscene language. [#84]</span></blockquote>
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Okay, obviously there is more information from the Church about the protection of the latency period (read the <a href="http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html" target="_blank">entire Vatican document</a>, as I did many years ago), but there you have it. What many moms and dads have intuited actually has a name: The latency period.<br />
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Everything in this culture wants to violate those "years of innocence," so be aware. Don't freak out, and all is not lost if your little kids are exposed to too much, too soon, but there should be a certain level of "sheltering" going on, for sure. That is part of your job as a parent.<br />
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What is your young, pre-adolescent child learning about if he is not learning about sex? Again from the Vatican document:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
During those years, before any physical sexual development is evident, it is normal for the child's interests to turn to other aspects of life. The rudimentary instinctive sexuality of very small children has disappeared. Boys and girls of this age are not particularly interested in sexual problems, and they prefer to associate with children of their own sex. So as not to disturb this important natural phase of growth, parents will recognize that prudent formation in chaste love during this period should be indirect, in preparation for puberty, when direct information will be necessary. [#78]</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
During this stage of development, children are normally at ease with their body and its functions. They accept the need for modesty in dress and behaviour. Although they are aware of the physical differences between the two sexes, the growing child generally shows little interest in genital functions. The discovery of the wonders of creation which accompanies this phase and the experiences in this regard at home and in school should also be oriented towards the stages of catechesis and preparation for the sacraments which takes place within the ecclesial community. [#79]</blockquote>
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As in the first years of life also during childhood, parents should encourage a spirit of collaboration, obedience, generosity and self-denial in their children, as well as a capacity for self-reflection and sublimation. In fact, a characteristic of this period of development is an attraction toward intellectual activities. Using the intellect makes it possible to acquire the strength and ability to control the surrounding situation and, before long, to control bodily instincts, so as to transform them into intellectual and rational activities. [#86]</blockquote>
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How beautiful and amazing! Unlike what the culture tells us, not everything is about sex! And children can and should retain their innocence in their pre-pubescent years.<br />
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Imagine that. :)<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Make sure to join us in the comments section. That's where all the action is!</div>Leila@LittleCatholicBubblehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09357573787143230160noreply@blogger.com16