Doctrinal Quiz Show, Second Edition. Play along!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog post for another episode of...

DOCTRINAL QUIZ SHOW!

(clap, clap, clap)

Okay, folks, this one might seem simple on the surface, but it's *almost* a trick question (and that's all I'm going to say about that).

Remember, the rules are that you cannot research it, google it, or ask your catechist husband the answer. Just answer to the best of your ability, off the top of your head. No cheating! Because cheating is a sin.

Don't worry, I will not publicly mock your answer unless I feel like it. I also reserve the right to give out incredibly witty awards like last time, so beware.

Here is your question (soft drum roll):

According to the Catholic Church, why did God create Mary to be without sin from the first moment of her conception?

Have at it, kiddos!

On being an introvert: The quest to be understood

Hello, my name is Leila, and I am an introvert!

About a year ago, I had "eureka" moment after more than one occasion of trying to explain myself to extroverted friends.

Before I continue this riveting line of thought, I must state this fact: God gifts us with our temperaments. There are no "good" temperaments and "bad" temperaments. They are all gifts. Extroversion is a gift, and introversion is a gift. If you have read The Temperament God Gave You, you already know this. This post is not an attempt to judge anyone or any temperament, but merely an attempt by me to be understood. Which brings me to the bare bones of my theory:

Introverts don't find it hard to understand extroverts.

Extroverts do find it hard to understand introverts.

Chew on that for a moment while I clarify terms....

The easiest way I came to understand the inherent, natural tendency to either extroversion or introversion is this quick test: Let's say you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, or maybe you just need to relax. If you are an extrovert, you will usually (but not always) want to decompress and unwind by going out and socializing with large groups of people (bars, dance clubs, parties). If you are an introvert, you usually (but not always) want to decompress and unwind by going home and staying in, being quiet and away from crowds.

So now I am going to repeat my theory, since my (strangely childlike) brain works best by repetition:

Introverts don't find it hard to understand extroverts.

Extroverts do find it hard to understand introverts.

Real life example from my own life. When I was in college, my roommate (one of my closest friends) used to beg me to go out on the weekends. Over the years, there was a lot of this from C:

"Pleeease, Leila, can we go hang out at the Mods?"

"Just come out for a little while? I will bring you back early, I promise! You can decide when we come home."

"How about you choose the place? I'll go wherever you want, let's just get out of here and have some fun!"

Poor thing, this is what she usually heard in response:

"Oh... no, I don't think so. I really don't feel like it. I want to stay in and paint my toenails."

"I've got so many People magazines to catch up on. But you should go out and have fun!"

"I feel awful, C, but I want to relax on my bed and watch the news and then SNL. Forgive?"

And I really did feel guilty about not going with her, because I was letting her down! But I was not the slightest bit sorry for avoiding the "action" -- In fact, I didn't feel like I was missing out at all.

Which brings me back to my theory.

I fully understand that extroverts want to have fun and party and enjoy crowds and meet new people, etc. I truly do "get" that some people are "people people"! In fact, it seems normal and natural and healthy to me that many of my friends and family are like that. The extroverted temperament is not a mystery to me.

But I tend to think that the introverted temperament is a mystery to extroverts. I believe that sometimes the extrovert is concerned that there is something wrong with the introvert. That maybe the introvert has a psychological problem, an emotional issue, or a social phobia. Perhaps the introvert is assumed to be shy.... which is interesting, because I always thought I must be shy, but I have since realized to my surprise that I am not shy. I have no trouble approaching people, talking to strangers (I do a lot of public speaking), sharing my thoughts, and even being the life of the party when the mood hits! Introversion and shyness are not synonymous.

Ironically, many people who have met me in the past few years are shocked when I tell them I am by nature an introvert. After all, I'm quite friendly, "bubbly" (no blog pun intended) and animated in social situations. I genuinely enjoy being social when I do go out (particularly in my little Catholic bubble of friends).

I've talked to a couple of extroverted friends about all of this, and how we move through life differently. They've admitted that prior to our discussions they didn't fully understand why introverts "vant to be ahlone" so much. They had thought, even subconsciously, that "unsocial" folks must have some insecurities or other "issues" which make us want to hide at home and not be out socializing as often as others are.

For a long time, even I wondered if extrovert = healthy and introvert = unhealthy. Yet, assuming that mental and emotional health is intact, this is not the case. We are all just living out the temperaments that God intended for us.

My point?

To document in some small bloggy way that we introverts are not socially crippled or emotionally troubled simply because we are introverts. And to assure all extroverts out there that your introvert friends are not snubbing or avoiding you when they stay in their cocoons. Trust me, it's nothing personal. It's just the way God made us. :)

So, for the sake of clarity (check my sidebar to see what I am all about), I had to write this post. For the furtherance of smoother friendships, better marriages, understanding among all peoples, world peace and such....

If you think I'm wrong, or if you have a better theory, I want to hear it. I am always willing to stand corrected.

Now, back to my cocoon.... or is it my bubble...? Oh, it's my bed.... yawn!

It was bound to happen...

Thanks to this post by Danya, I am no longer the most witty and beloved blogger in my (local) little Catholic bubble.

But, gosh darn it, I am still the oldest!

Tee hee.

And I'm gonna take credit for her success, cuz she is my protege....

How lame am I?

This lame:

Before my husband leaves town, he makes me dinners in advance so there will be something to eat when he is gone.

Is there a word for guilt and gratitude mixed together? Guiltitude? Sigh....

Faith Stories, conveniently linked!

Okay, so now that I have recovered from St. Jude's unfortunate beheading martyrdom yesterday (which scarred me for life), I am on to something more pleasant!

I was blown away by the amazing faith stories of the bloggers (first solicited here), and I wanted to put them all in one place, in case anyone missed some. In no particular order, here are the inspirational offerings:

Sew Infertile

This Cross I Embrace

More Than Anything

Grace In My Heart

Mary Grace Holmes

All Things

Wheelbarrow Rider

Magnify the LORD With Me

Feel My Love

HE Adopted Me First

Peace of Christ

Hope - Pray - Trust

Hebrews 11:1

Second Chances

Joy Beyond the Cross

Hope and Faith

Sarah's Journal

Patiently Waiting

Pray, Hope, Don't Worry

LifeHopes (private)

A New Amazing Life (formerly Life In Mazes)


Shoved To Them


Heart of St. Monica (private)

If I missed any, please let me know! I realize there are more stories coming, and I will add them as they become available. I have also put a permanent link to the stories on my sidebar, under Pages, as "Blogger Faith Stories."

I considered giving out awards in the spirit of my Doctrinal Quiz Show, but thought better of it because occasionally I have some class. :)

Now here's something you don't see every day...*UPDATED*

Hmmmmm, so a day in the life around here. My eighteen-year-old daughter approaches me with a simple "Um.... Mom?" holding the following in her hand:

Yes, that is a ballpoint pen stuck in the decapitated neck of a holy statue of St. Jude. A tad shocking, no? Not the normal way we expect to see our sacred images. :)

Just another day with several young boys in the house.

I can't be sure who did it, and I am sure it was an accident, because aside from the toddler, they actually do understand that they are not to deface religious items, even cheap resin ones! I promise, one of them will be a priest someday. That's mandatory now, just to make up for the sacrilege!

I know that many of you bloggers are dreaming of the day when you will have dirty houses, toys strewn about, messy diapers and spills, and I know that day will come for all of you. (I know it because I am offering up my dirty house, broken toys, poopy diapers and spills for you). But for those still waiting, go forth now and behold your statues, icons and holy objects with the (temporary) joy and peace of knowing that they are intact.

Oh, and I found the head.

*Update: Just found out that St. Jude was a glow-in-the-dark. Walked into my boys' room to turn off a light and was stunned to see a glowing, headless figure in the dark, its detached head glowing at its feet. Seems a fitting end to the saga!

Welcome, Danya!!

Danya's got a blog, Danya's got a blog, la la la la la la!

Oh boy, I am so excited! My dear friend Danya has finally succumbed to my peer pressure and started a blog! (I learned my pressure techniques from Ann and Shannon and Sew, etc., tee hee).

She knows the IF struggle well. That struggle is what actually brought her to the fullness of the Catholic Faith, as you will see from her story.

Her blog name knocked my socks off: HE Adopted Me First. Taken from Ephesians 1:5 -- "He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will."

Danya is hilariously funny and so very wise, and I know you will love her as much as I do!!

Yippee!!!

Your story?

For a while now I have been so impressed and moved by the deep faith of the bloggers I follow, and I am so curious about how you all came to be so... magisterial (in the Catholic, not Webster's, way). You guys are not lukewarm Catholics! And yet, because most of you are youngsters (yes, mere babes), I am dying to know how you came to know and really live your faith. I have heard some of your stories privately, but I am hoping that perhaps you might want to share a bit of your faith journey on your blogs?

I'm wondering, for example, if you were raised and catechized well by very devout parents? Or maybe you are a cradle Catholic raised in general ignorance of the Faith who later figured things out against the odds as I did? Or are you a convert?

I'd love to hear your story, either privately or publicly, briefly or at length. I do enjoy learning how God works to lead His children to the Truth, and I am sure I am not the only one.

Adoption

There has been a lot of talk about adoption lately on the blogs, and over the months I have truly been educated as to what adoption is and what it is not. I was always pro-adoption, but now it seems so much more personal. Not only has the blogger world been blessed with beautiful adopted babies in recent weeks and months, but my own dear IRL friend just came home from Ethiopia with her fourth adopted child, and our whole community is in love with this little boy!

It's been amazing watching all these adoptions take shape, from beginning to end.

So, when I saw this article from the Ruth Institute recently, I thought it deserved to be read far and wide. The founder of the Institute struggled with infertility for years and became an adoptive parent. Her insights here are profound, and they relate not only to adoption (and the invasive process of home studies, background checks, etc.), but she connects her experiences to the question of same-sex marriage. (Ruth Institute defends marriage as we Catholics understand it.)

Happy Memorial Day weekend to all!

Matchmaking: My fruitless passion!

Bold blogger that I am now, I teased you all a couple of times with the fact that I am a (self-described) Catholic matchmaker! I am probably enamored with the idea of matchmaking for the same reason that I am obsessed enamored with the IF bloggers: I love the idea of building up great Catholic families for the Kingdom of God.

Under no circumstances will I admit that I have never had a single success at matchmaking since I have begun my mission. So, don't ask because I won't tell you. Seriously. I won't. Ha ha, just kidding. I admit that I am, so far, a failure.

I believe I am on to something with Catholic matchmaking, though. Think about it.... What is more natural than devout Catholic parents wanting to match up their kids? If you are skeptical, I give you two letters: E and C. We are all romantics at heart, no? (By the way, Shannon was right and E will have to battle it out with my little Matthew for C's heart!)

So, here is the genesis of my matchmaking dreams, spelled out in an article I wrote for Catholic Exchange way back in February 2008 (I have edited out irrelevant parts for this post):

As a faithful Catholic parent, have you ever found yourself secretly "matching up" your children with the children of other faithful Catholic friends? Perhaps you've jokingly promised one of your infants to the infant of a dear Catholic friend who laughed with you and happily agreed to the "betrothal"? If you are like me, you secretly (or not so secretly) have scouted out future spouses for your children, hoping for the perfect in-laws, dreaming that your beloved offspring would have the best possible chance for Holy Matrimony lived out as Christ and His Church envisions.

Well, I've taken it all a step further, as the frustrated Yenta in me has finally burst forth into the public sphere in the form of Catholic Moms Matchmaking.

The idea for this apostolate is simple, and it grew naturally over some time. A few years ago, I started to notice an epidemic of unhappy marriages and the ripple effect that spread a couple's misery to children, extended family, and even friends. It then occurred to me that many parents are working hard to ensure their children's academic and career success, but few are sweating and sacrificing to ensure that their children are marriageable. This is a grave cultural mistake. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the single biggest factor in one's happiness is the state of one's marriage. And a happy marriage cannot be realized unless a parent teaches a child, by word and example, how to be a good husband or wife. We expect our children to find a spouse of worthy character, but do we make sure that our own children are themselves a "catch"?

During this time, I also started to learn more about the Church's beautiful teachings on marriage, specifically John Paul II's earth-shattering writings on human sexuality known as the Theology of the Body. I began to hope and pray for a way to give my children a chance at God's ideal, knowing this could only be attained by their finding a spouse with a shared vision of what marriage should be. It seemed pretty clear: For those of my children not called to a religious vocation, it would be imperative that they find a devout and believing Catholic with whom to enter into the Sacrament of Matrimony.

All these thoughts were ruminating in my head for a couple of years, when one day I came upon an article in a secular magazine about happily married young couples who met their spouses via an introduction from Mom. It made perfect sense to me, as who knows a child better than a mother? And who can a child trust more than a parent? And why shouldn't the family have some influence on whom a child dates, in order to keep the child from marrying the wrong person out of infatuation, immaturity or confusion? The idea of Catholic moms playing matchmaker became an exciting thought.

I talked lightly to a few friends about my desire to set up a "database" for a future mixer for our children as they approached marrying age. Each time, the response was positive. I was actually shocked at the enthusiasm I encountered! Eventually, it occurred to me that the Internet afforded opportunities for Catholic matchmaking which did not involve large, expensive websites (after all, I had, no computer savvy, no time, and no money). What about an email group like the one my former homeschooling community uses to communicate among themselves?

Before the article ran, I'd already established my little yahoo email group, had received the blessing of my priest, and had several friends sign on. The day the article ran, I had over a thousand hits on the (now defunct) Catholic Moms Matchmaking webpage my friend Lisa had set up for me, and about a hundred people joined my email group (which still exists). Most of the members have small children, so the fruits of the apostolate will not be seen for many years.... Activity on the group has slowed up, however, and things are fairly inactive now.

Nevertheless, a couple of interesting things have come out of my endeavors in recent months. A dear blogger that we all know and love is looking for her husband. I thought I would stick my nose right in and boldly proclaim my assistance in this matter! Although I did not know her at the time, I emailed her and asked what her "type" was, offering to put the word out to my matchmaking group. She pretended I wasn't a nut and graciously agreed. Fast forward, I almost flipped my lid when a date actually materialized! A pretty great date, too, save for one teensy weensy issue that could not easily be resolved -- a little something called the truth and meaning of human sexuality. But, there were great graces for both parties that came from that experience (or so I keep telling myself, as I feel like a heel that it didn't end in vocational bliss), and God knows what He is doing.

I had another near miss recently with another single Catholic lady seeking a spouse. I sent the word out again to my group, and something bizarre happened! There was one response from my group (someone suggesting her brother-in-law), and it turns out that this same man was someone the seeking lady had singled out on a Catholic dating site weeks before, out of thousands of men! What are the odds? I thought I saw God's hand in this pairing, and that He would lead them straight down the aisle and to the altar. Alas, I was wrong. It didn't work out. Sigh.

So here I am, the least successful matchmaker on earth (batting .000), ever hopeful that someday, somehow, I'll score a Catholic match! I have several children of my own who will need to find good spouses if they are called to married life.... Maybe that's another reason I am praying so hard for all the IF bloggers: I need your children to marry mine! There is always room for more in the little Catholic bubble!

:)