Notice: I'm giving up matchmaking!

Yep, it's true! I'm quitting my little hobby of many years. My yenta days (outside of family) are over.

Golde and Yenta, Fiddler on the Roof, United Artists

I'm a tiny bit sad about that, since I still get messages almost weekly asking for help in finding a good Catholic spouse, either for the inquirer or a loved one. I started a Catholic matchmaking yahoo email group (for like-minded Catholic moms) over a decade ago, and then a few years ago I started a private matchmaking blog that continued until recently. I even tried to get a couple of Catholic matchmaking Facebook groups off the ground.

But there is just not enough fruit to keep it up anymore, and very few people actually follow my advice anyway, which has been the deciding factor for me. There is so little time in life, and we all have to decide where to direct our energy most productively.

So, I'm going to throw out some (usually-rejected) advice here, and folks can decide whether or not that advice is worth implementing.

First, in my experience, the vast majority of people actively looking for a Catholic spouse are women in their late twenties to late thirties, well-educated, and situated in good careers. Very few men come on my radar screen, and very few solid Catholic men (meaning, faithful to Church teaching and with jobs and appropriate social skills) are still single past their mid-twenties. Most of those men are marrying young (a good thing!), but that leaves a problem for the ladies: There is a vast pool of lovely, accomplished, faithful Catholic women seeking, and not a very big pool of good men to complement that search.

And yes, that is depressing!

What I always say first to these incredible women: "Have you tried Catholic Match or Ave Maria Singles?" Often the answer is no, as they "don't want to do the online dating thing". Immediately I lament, because one must go where the Catholic men are to find Catholic men, and if they aren't finding them in their parishes (and they obviously are not), there is little chance that they will find a faithful Catholic man at the grocery store or in the corporate world.

God is not going to drop a husband into your lap from the heavens, ladies. You worked very hard getting that college degree (and then that master's degree), so you need to work just as diligently at your own vocation, which is much more important than your job or career in the long run.

Sometimes the women will tell me that they are already on Catholic Match or Ave Maria Singles, but that they have had no luck or have gone inactive. Some thoughts:

1) Yes, there are a lot of men on those sites who are not going to be good husband material, and some are downright awful (one of my first blog posts ever was about the pitfalls of Catholic Match), but it only takes one good guy out of thousands. You are looking for one, that is all. Keep going.

2) You may be way too picky. Life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel, and you are not likely to find an Eduardo Verástegui. If a man is decent, faithful, has good hygiene, and has the means to provide for his family, he is a catch, ladies! If you find that he is "not your type" after the first view of his profile, maybe give him a chance anyway. (I will be writing my next book about Catholic dating and marriage, and I will include the stories of how two of my own children married spouses who were "not their type" at first glance; praise God they persevered!)

3) If you insist on principle that the man must be the initiator while you passively wait for him to make the first contact, well, you may be waiting alone all of your life. I'm just being honest. If you want to find a husband, initiate the first conversation! I am so glad my daughter-in-law did that with my son. And I am glad I was the one who actively pursued my own dear husband so many years ago. :)

4) If you limit yourself to men in your geographical area, eschewing long-distance relationships, then you will indeed be limiting yourself. All three of my married children, and even Dean and I, had long-distance relationships while dating. Not one of us lived in the same state, much less the same city, when we met and dated the other.


Bottom line, marriage is not something magical like fairy dust or wishing on a star that just happens to you like a dream. Like holiness in general, it requires hard work, both before and after the vows.

I have a lot more to say on the matter, as you can imagine, and I will! But one last thought for this short blog post: Pray while you work. The 54-day Novena for finding a spouse is an amazing grace-filled prayer that can make your work of finding a spouse fruitful! Be open, be courageous, be prayerful!


Anyway, it's been fun playing yenta for so long, and I have loved getting to know so many wonderful folks through the process! Go out and promote marriage and family, my friends, as it's the only way to reverse the corrosive effects of the culture. The Church, as always, has the answer! We just need to stop standing in her way.

Matchmaking! Three Catholic men and a serious offer from Alaska

Okay guys, Sundays -- even in Lent -- are days of rejoicing! Marriage and family are icons of the Holy Trinity, and I can't think of anything more joyful than watching beautiful Christian families form.

As some of you may remember, I've attempted a little matchmaking before, and so I thought that this lovely Sunday would be a good time to introduce you to more good Catholic men who were brought to my attention after my little plea (check out #6).

I'm going to profile three men today, plus post a special invitation/opportunity at the end. Please carefully follow the instructions if you are interested in contacting these great guys.

Disclaimer: I do not know any of these men personally.

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Josh, 28 years old

Josh

What his sister said:

Josh is 28, a firefighter, and former marine. He goes to mass every Sunday and would go more frequently if his schedule allowed. He has a devotion to St. Joseph. He's very much an all-American kind of guy. He loves history, has a very irreverent sense of humor, and is an AMAZING cook. He's not a theology wonk, but he's a good, orthodox, solid, prayerful Catholic. He's got a brilliant mind, but "intellectuals" irritate him. My brother is a catch. If you know of any young women who have a good sense of humor and are really, really laid back and cheerful, let me know!

What Josh wrote to me when I contacted him:

I am 28. I live in Baltimore. I am a career fire fighter and absolutely love my work. I have been doing it for five years now. I also spent 6 years in the Marines and deployed to Iraq and Africa a couple times. I am a every sunday type of Catholic and have a devotion to St. Joseph and St. Michael. I got hired on St. Josephs feast so I think that is pretty cool!! I am very regular sorta dude I guess you could say. I love cooking, bbq, soccer, hockey, fishing, crabbing, being handy, anything outdoorsy. I love history and would love to finish my degree in it someday soon. I love visiting historical sites and reading history books. Especially Naval history and The American Revolution. I love to stay active and work out. I gotta to be able to function well at work. I have a goofy sense of humor that gets me through work. I have to be around others who have a good sense of humor too. My family is hilarious, very close, and more supportive than anyone could ever imagine. 

As for my past: I had a bit of a rough and rowdy young adulthood. Occasionaly got into trouble and didn't always put my faith first. I had a girlfriend who got pregnant unexpectedly. Where we both were in our lives at the time and the fact that I was looking at depolyments and our future together was very uncertain we decided to place our son for adoption. It was the most difficult decision that I could ever have imagined to make. It was made out of love for him though. We placed him with a devout Catholic family who we became close with through the process. He is now 5 years old and has 2 brothers. I get letters and photos and keep in touch with his family. God was very evident in the situation. Even though I deeply miss him I have great peace over the decision that God led us to. I can answer and questions about my past very openly. So that is not an issue at all for me. I guess other stuff people need to know is that I have a decent collection of traditional american tattoos. I know that can bug people sometimes! haha. Wow that's a lot longer than I planned. Anyways like I said feel free to fire away with questions. Thanks again for putting my stuff out there! Take care!

If you would like to contact Josh, please send your message and a recent photo to littlecatholicbubble (at) gmail (dot) com, and please put "JOSH" in the subject line. I will forward all emails to him.

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Jim, 24 years old

Jim

My name is Jim, a 24-year-old hailing from the relatively small town of Monroe, Michigan. I am currently a graduate student in biblical studies at the University of Dayton in Dayton, Ohio. I am in my second year, aiming to graduate in August and move immediately into a Ph.D. program in biblical studies--still waiting on hearing about where! I never grow tired of learning theology; thankfully, the Church will always continue to provide!

Outside of theology, I have played cello for nearly thirteen years (I am not nearly as good as what that number might indicate!), though I primarily play it for Mass nowadays. As far as employment goes, I am a graduate assistant as well as a writing tutor. My other interests are what one might call "nerdy," so I have a weakness for science-fiction and fantasy. (This may or may not have had an effect on my interest in non-canonical scriptural texts...!) Really, though, I feel that any topic and any activity can be interesting, and so I'm always ready to have a good conversation in which I can learn something!

These sorts of things are always so difficult to write, but I hope that this gives you some idea of who I am. :)

If you would like to contact Jim, please send your message and a recent photo to littlecatholicbubble (at) gmail (dot) com, and please put "JIM" in the subject line. I will forward all emails to him.

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Pete, 33 years old

Pete

I live in the area of Princeton, New Jersey, and I grew up in Richmond, VA. I have no problem meeting people, but it's difficult finding single faith filled women since my transformation. I consider myself a fervent Catholic who has a very close relationship with God. I am involved in a charismatic parish, where I volunteer and mentor to teens. I give my witness speech to various Protestant and Catholic churches, and am working with an editor on a memoir. I'm a grad student who is working on a post-masters degree in counseling and am trying to better the world one person at time by empowering others just as I had done with myself with the help of God's love and grace. My ultimate goal is to open a private practice with other Christian wellness professionals such as a nutritionist and a chiropractor I know well. I do however, know that God might have another plan and I trust in Him. 

I'm an adventurous extrovert with a sometimes deep side who fits the description of the "Prodigal Son" to a tee. I love life, the outdoors and people. I'm driven and ambitious yet laid back at the same time if that makes any sense. I've been told I'm the first person people come to when they need something done, want to talk, or need a good laugh. I've done my share of partying when I was younger and got that out of my system. I enjoy some downtime too, reading, praying, and writing. I am into fitness and health, and love to mountain bike, kayak, hike, and hit the gym. I can tell you just about anything that has to do with nutrition, enjoy cooking, but also like to enjoy a good meal out. Between my job, classes, internships, and activities I still believe in having balance and take time for myself, family, and friends. I'm an honest man who doesn't play games and is on fire for God. I just have to say that if you aren't passionate about Christ, then we will not work out. Nice to meet you and God bless!


If you would like to contact Pete, please send your message and a recent photo to littlecatholicbubble (at) gmail (dot) com, and please put "PETE" in the subject line. I will forward all emails to him.

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And a special offer to go where the men are...

Finally, I received this intriguing email from a woman named April, in Fairbanks, Alaska:

I know it’s a long shot, but in Alaska there are plenty of good Catholic single men. As a matter of fact, I say the very opposite thing you said all of the time. I wish I knew a few good Catholic single women. An Alaska vacation may be in order. We are a missionary diocese in Fairbanks, so maybe your ladies would like to come up and enjoy the midnight sun and teach vacation Bible school or something. I know more than a few people who came here once and never left. This is a serious offer.

If any Catholic lady out there is interested in such an adventure -- where the single Catholic men and plentiful and looking for good women -- please email me at littlecatholicbubble (at) gmail (dot) com. I will put you directly in touch with April, who can answer all your questions.

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Now, wasn't that fun???

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Quick Takes: Things that entertain (and boggle the mind)

1) Stop everything you are doing. You have to read the following article. No, seriously, you do. You don't have to read it right now, but click it open and then keep it at the bottom of your screen, or minimize it, or whatever, until you have a quiet few moments later to read it all. Jen Fulwiler (yes, the hostess of Quick Takes and the most insightful atheist-turned-Catholic that I know) has really nailed the problem. What problem? The problem! The reason why we Catholics and the purveyors of human abortion cannot even speak the same language. It's as if we live in two different realities, and this is why:

A Sexual Revolution

Oh, all right, here's a sneak peek, from somewhere in the middle:

All my life, the message I had heard loud and clear was that sex was for pleasure and bonding, that its potential for creating life was purely tangential…. This mind-set became the foundation of my views on abortion…. I thought of unplanned pregnancies as akin to being struck by lightning while walking down the street—something totally unpredictable and undeserved that happened to people living normal lives. 

My pro-choice views (and I imagine those of many others) were motivated by loving concern: I just did not want women to have to suffer, to have to devalue themselves by dealing with unwanted pregnancies. Since it was an inherent part of my worldview that everyone except people with “hang-ups” eventually has sex, and that sex is, under normal circumstances, only about the relationship between the two people involved, I was lured into one of the oldest, biggest, most tempting lies in human history….

And… you'll just have to read the article to find out what that lie is. :)



2) I do love a great quote from a brilliant mind, to be read slowly:

‎We live in a culture where our marketers and entertainment media compulsively mislead us about the sustainability of youth; the indignity of old age; the avoidance of suffering; the denial of death; the nature of real beauty; the impermanence of every human love; the oppressiveness of children and family; the silliness of virtue; and the cynicism of religious faith. It’s a culture of fantasy, selfishness, sexual confusion and illness that we’ve brought upon ourselves. And we’ve done it by misusing the freedom that other — and greater — generations than our own worked for, bled for and bequeathed to our safe-keeping. 

-- Archbishop Charles Chaput of Philadelphia from “A Thread for Weaving Joy” 

(Archbishop Chaput makes me swoon!)


3) And now, how 'bout a quote from a not-so-great mind? I have to reprint for you all one of the dumbest things ever said to me. It came during one of my myriad time-sucking facebook debates, from a young male atheist who thinks I'm stupid:

"I don't care if god is real... I care about whether there is evidence of his existence. If there is not, then it makes absolutely no difference if he's real or not." [emphasis mine]

Now, how can I argue with something like that?


4) The annual March for Life and the annual media blackout that accompanies it was actually pretty fun this year! If you read Bad Catholic's smackdown, you can't help but smile:

Media Stupidity at the March for Life

Also, I was originally going to link to the positively reedonkulous "coverage" of the March from CBS news, but they had so many negative comments about their bogus slide show (with ZERO shots of the hundreds of thousands of pro-life marchers, but numerous shots of the same eleven pro-"choice" folks) that they had to go in and add actual photos of the March itself!

Under hail of criticism, CBS relents, adds some photos of pro-lifers to March for Life album

When you look at the CBS slide show, note that the first six photos there now were not there a few hours earlier, nor was the last photo. And even though CBS was shamed into adding those seven photos of the pro-life marchers, the bias still jumps right out: The pro-life side and the pro-"choice" side each gets seven photos? A sea of young, vibrant marchers as far as the eye can see, from all over the nation, hundreds of thousands strong…. versus a handful of protesters that no one even noticed (save the liberal press)? Methinks they missed the story even on their second try!

It is so laughable, and very entertaining, but the big question still remains: Why would anyone trust the MSM these days?


5a) Planned Parenthood, keeping it classy, as usual! Check this out:

Planned Parenthood's cheeky new ad campaign

Ah, those crazy kids! What crude and degenerate thing will they think of next to corrupt our culture? 

(Be sure to read the comments! Some creative pro-lifers thought of their own ad slogans for PP's new campaign.)

5b) It's all over the news that "abortion is safer than giving birth", but of course that's another pro-"choice" obfuscation. Let's look at the facts and see through the spin:

Rehash of Abortion Safety Claim Ignores All Inconvenient Evidence to the Contrary

Word to the wise: Those who make their living killing human beings do not always live by an honor code of truth-telling.

6) Okay, this is serious! I need you all to tell me if you know of any good, eligible Catholic young men who are looking for a bride. There just don't seem to be as many good men out there as there are young women who are looking for them! Please, email me (look under my picture) if you know of any decent, faithful, emotionally stable men between the ages of about 24 and 34. I've got women who want to meet them!


7) Still don't have much to update on my sister's condition, other than one amazing turn of events which has lifted a 10-ton weight off our shoulders: Her first diagnosis of advanced pancreatic cancer was wrong. I cannot begin to describe the emotions that come from believing your only sibling has four months to live, then having the imminent death sentence rescinded. She still has a long road to diagnosis and treatment, so please keep those prayers coming. She has been most grateful for them, as have I!



Thanks, Jen, for hosting!




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Matchmaking post!! Anthony is a catch, ladies!

Okay, this is way too fun! 

Some of you may remember that I fancy myself a Catholic matchmaker. Well, today is a great day for me, and perhaps for some lucky Catholic lady out there. 

You all know our good friend and commenter, "Giuseppe", who is not only a trained philosopher, but also a fellow blogger and a United States Marine currently serving our country in Afghanistan, far away from his beautiful wife and baby son. 

Well, dear Giuseppe has been telling me a little bit about his buddy, Anthony, a fellow Catholic and Marine, who is looking for a wife. Always hoping for a way to help and honor our incredible servicemen, I begged for permission to put out a bit of a personal ad, right here on the Bubble!! Permission was granted!!

Without further ado, here is handsome, valiant Anthony:

Who doesn't love a man in uniform?! Am I right ladies?

Anthony is 25 years old, 5'10", and a graduate of St. Anselm's College. He did FOCUS for a year (great group!!), before becoming a Marine Officer. He has been serving in Afghanistan for the past seven months, leading a platoon of Marines as a Combat Engineer (which means he is quite brave).

He loves to sing (was tenor in a barbershop quartet in college!), and he loves to run (3 miles in 16 minutes -- blazing fast!). He has a great sense of humor, a good head on his shoulders, and an energetic, outgoing personality. He is a devout and faithful Catholic, and balanced in his orthodoxy. He does not compromise on virtue (i.e., he's a real man!!), and he does not smoke or dip.

*UPDATE: And he cooks!! Also, he's from Boston, but is currently stationed at a Marine base in CA. I have been informed by Giuseppe that Anthony does not have a Boston accent and does not say "wicked"! (Though he will talk in the accent of his youth if you prod him. Ha ha!)

Anthony is looking for a Catholic woman who is devout, pretty, and somewhat athletic.

If you are this woman, or if you know this woman, please email me at littlecatholicbubble@gmail.com, and let's start building Catholic families for the Kingdom!!

St. Joseph, patron of families, pray for us!

Matchmaking: My fruitless passion!

Bold blogger that I am now, I teased you all a couple of times with the fact that I am a (self-described) Catholic matchmaker! I am probably enamored with the idea of matchmaking for the same reason that I am obsessed enamored with the IF bloggers: I love the idea of building up great Catholic families for the Kingdom of God.

Under no circumstances will I admit that I have never had a single success at matchmaking since I have begun my mission. So, don't ask because I won't tell you. Seriously. I won't. Ha ha, just kidding. I admit that I am, so far, a failure.

I believe I am on to something with Catholic matchmaking, though. Think about it.... What is more natural than devout Catholic parents wanting to match up their kids? If you are skeptical, I give you two letters: E and C. We are all romantics at heart, no? (By the way, Shannon was right and E will have to battle it out with my little Matthew for C's heart!)

So, here is the genesis of my matchmaking dreams, spelled out in an article I wrote for Catholic Exchange way back in February 2008 (I have edited out irrelevant parts for this post):

As a faithful Catholic parent, have you ever found yourself secretly "matching up" your children with the children of other faithful Catholic friends? Perhaps you've jokingly promised one of your infants to the infant of a dear Catholic friend who laughed with you and happily agreed to the "betrothal"? If you are like me, you secretly (or not so secretly) have scouted out future spouses for your children, hoping for the perfect in-laws, dreaming that your beloved offspring would have the best possible chance for Holy Matrimony lived out as Christ and His Church envisions.

Well, I've taken it all a step further, as the frustrated Yenta in me has finally burst forth into the public sphere in the form of Catholic Moms Matchmaking.

The idea for this apostolate is simple, and it grew naturally over some time. A few years ago, I started to notice an epidemic of unhappy marriages and the ripple effect that spread a couple's misery to children, extended family, and even friends. It then occurred to me that many parents are working hard to ensure their children's academic and career success, but few are sweating and sacrificing to ensure that their children are marriageable. This is a grave cultural mistake. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the single biggest factor in one's happiness is the state of one's marriage. And a happy marriage cannot be realized unless a parent teaches a child, by word and example, how to be a good husband or wife. We expect our children to find a spouse of worthy character, but do we make sure that our own children are themselves a "catch"?

During this time, I also started to learn more about the Church's beautiful teachings on marriage, specifically John Paul II's earth-shattering writings on human sexuality known as the Theology of the Body. I began to hope and pray for a way to give my children a chance at God's ideal, knowing this could only be attained by their finding a spouse with a shared vision of what marriage should be. It seemed pretty clear: For those of my children not called to a religious vocation, it would be imperative that they find a devout and believing Catholic with whom to enter into the Sacrament of Matrimony.

All these thoughts were ruminating in my head for a couple of years, when one day I came upon an article in a secular magazine about happily married young couples who met their spouses via an introduction from Mom. It made perfect sense to me, as who knows a child better than a mother? And who can a child trust more than a parent? And why shouldn't the family have some influence on whom a child dates, in order to keep the child from marrying the wrong person out of infatuation, immaturity or confusion? The idea of Catholic moms playing matchmaker became an exciting thought.

I talked lightly to a few friends about my desire to set up a "database" for a future mixer for our children as they approached marrying age. Each time, the response was positive. I was actually shocked at the enthusiasm I encountered! Eventually, it occurred to me that the Internet afforded opportunities for Catholic matchmaking which did not involve large, expensive websites (after all, I had, no computer savvy, no time, and no money). What about an email group like the one my former homeschooling community uses to communicate among themselves?

Before the article ran, I'd already established my little yahoo email group, had received the blessing of my priest, and had several friends sign on. The day the article ran, I had over a thousand hits on the (now defunct) Catholic Moms Matchmaking webpage my friend Lisa had set up for me, and about a hundred people joined my email group (which still exists). Most of the members have small children, so the fruits of the apostolate will not be seen for many years.... Activity on the group has slowed up, however, and things are fairly inactive now.

Nevertheless, a couple of interesting things have come out of my endeavors in recent months. A dear blogger that we all know and love is looking for her husband. I thought I would stick my nose right in and boldly proclaim my assistance in this matter! Although I did not know her at the time, I emailed her and asked what her "type" was, offering to put the word out to my matchmaking group. She pretended I wasn't a nut and graciously agreed. Fast forward, I almost flipped my lid when a date actually materialized! A pretty great date, too, save for one teensy weensy issue that could not easily be resolved -- a little something called the truth and meaning of human sexuality. But, there were great graces for both parties that came from that experience (or so I keep telling myself, as I feel like a heel that it didn't end in vocational bliss), and God knows what He is doing.

I had another near miss recently with another single Catholic lady seeking a spouse. I sent the word out again to my group, and something bizarre happened! There was one response from my group (someone suggesting her brother-in-law), and it turns out that this same man was someone the seeking lady had singled out on a Catholic dating site weeks before, out of thousands of men! What are the odds? I thought I saw God's hand in this pairing, and that He would lead them straight down the aisle and to the altar. Alas, I was wrong. It didn't work out. Sigh.

So here I am, the least successful matchmaker on earth (batting .000), ever hopeful that someday, somehow, I'll score a Catholic match! I have several children of my own who will need to find good spouses if they are called to married life.... Maybe that's another reason I am praying so hard for all the IF bloggers: I need your children to marry mine! There is always room for more in the little Catholic bubble!

:)

A disappointing eureka

Okay, I promise at some point I will write a funny, light-hearted post! But for some reason I am just ticked off and incredulous about things these days, ha ha!! (Wait... who am I kidding? I am a social and political commentator at heart, so you will be getting a lot of ticked off, incredulous posts if you read this blog! You are forewarned!!)

All right, as many of you know, I am a bit of a frustrated yenta. I fancy myself a Catholic matchmaker, but so far.... well, we don't need to talk about that now. My glory days will come. :)

Suffice to say, I have some familiarity with two of the Catholic online dating services, Ave Maria Singles and Catholic Match. More familiarity with AMS than CM. I think in general the sites have been wonderfully successful in helping Catholics find spouses.

For years I have heard that CM has more socially "normal" men utilizing their site, but that the CM men dissent from Church teaching in far greater numbers than the men on AMS. Recently, I have had two of my single girlfriends confirm this for me.

First, I read this post from A Friend of Gianna's blog. Disturbing, for sure. My first thought was: "Why the heck does this guy even stay Catholic?" I mean really, what's the point in saying you are Catholic if you reject what the Church teaches? Isn't that like saying, "I'm a vegetarian, but I am committed to eating meat"?

Then, the other day, another single friend mentioned the phenomenon of the "5 out of 7" on Catholic Match. Meaning, a good percentage of the men describe themselves as being in agreement with five out of seven important Catholic beliefs. And it's usually the same five out of seven. The pattern, she said, goes like this:

Eucharist:	Yes, I accept the Church's teaching
Contraception:	No, I do not accept the Church's teaching
Sanctity of Life:	Yes, I accept the Church's teaching
Papal Infallibility:	Yes, I accept the Church's teaching
Premarital Sex:	No, I do not accept the Church's teaching
Immaculate Conception:	Yes, I accept the Church's teaching
Holy Orders:	Yes, I accept the Church's teaching

Five out of seven. But how bizarre, I thought. How can it be that a man could accept the Church's teaching on the Immaculate Conception, but not on pre-marital sex? After all, the teaching against fornication is explicit in the Bible (Jesus' own words!) and is generally accepted by Protestant Christianity as well. How could someone doubt or dismiss that teaching, while having no problem with the trickier concepts of the Immaculate Conception and Papal Infallibility? Of course I understood that it was all about the men wanting to have lots of sex, but still... I could see struggling to live out Church teaching, admitting that the teaching is a difficult one, but outright rejecting it? As if it weren't true? That just seemed illogical.

I continued to be frustrated and annoyed by this, and couldn't put my finger on it. I shared my frustrations with my hubby. His response was immediate.

“That’s easy. Those are the two items that involve personal sacrifice.”

Eureka.

And there lies one piece of the crisis of Catholic manhood. If it involves any kind of real sacrifice, then "it's not true for me" even if God says it is true for all.

Sigh.

It ain't pretty, but at least I understand it now.