Fearful? Surrender your will.

This post is going to be pretty stream-of-consciousness, because it's the stuff that has been, well, streaming through my consciousness for many months now. So hard to put it down in words when so many spiritual lessons are pouring down. It's all so amazing and I want to talk to everyone about it all the time, but that is simply not possible. I do think it's easier to talk to people about it one-on-one, rather than write about it. But I will try to write something coherent.

First: If you are full of fear, cede control. Actually, even if you are not full of fear, cede control! Give it up. You are not in control. The only thing you can control is your will. That is all. Nothing else. Nothing else. You certainly cannot control other people, you cannot control circumstances, you cannot end suffering, sickness, disaster, and death. The illusion of control is a detriment to your spiritual life, to your interior peace, and to your relationship with God.

At some point, if you don't give up control, it will be forced from you, and painfully. I had my huge spiritual turning point and near-breakdown in July 2014, which snuck up on me in the middle of my very charmed life, quite unwelcomed. I have promised to tell you about it, and I will, but it's a bit like writing my mother-in-law's conversion story -- big and awe-ful and beautiful and terrifying and hard to express and oh yes, it may turn into a three-parter, just like that one [Note: It actually turned into a four-parter]. Because it's that HUGE in my life. My "breakdown" was the greatest spiritual lesson I ever received. It was both the darkest, most terrifying time of my life and the experience for which I am most grateful. (I hope I learned enough that I never, ever have to repeat anything like it, but I'll leave that decision to God.)

In the aftermath, I keep pondering and learning and processing, talking to others who have had amazingly similar experiences, thinking about the way so many of us move through the world with such fear (even those of us who never consciously knew that we did fear) -- fear of not being in control, fear for our families, our children, our financial security, fear of sickness, of suffering, of loneliness, and ultimately a fear of our own death, which is a subject we love to ignore in this culture of materialism, comfort, convenience, and pleasure-seeking. Anxiety and fear seem to define so many of us (though not all of us, and that is part of the story I'll tell, too).

Yes, I'm rambling.

But guys, this is so big! After I came out of my crisis, God opened up a wealth of knowledge about things that hadn't mattered to me before. I am not special; this has happened to many of you, too. Providentially, things were put in my path that had the exact application for my life at the exact moment and season that I needed them, including a book that I had picked up years ago and put down in boredom, but then picked up again last fall and subsequently had my socks knocked off. I already gushed about that book, here. I have given away many copies, recommended it to countless friends, and I now return to its principles daily hourly.

It's so brilliantly simple. It's about ordering our spiritual life around one central idea, and in doing so we change everything.

From the Forward of this book, Into Your Hands, Father: Abandoning Ourselves to the God Who Loves Us, by Fr. Wilfrid Stinissen (emphases mine):

... [As Christians] we are told to deny ourselves, forgive one another, carry our cross, fast, and give alms. We must also love our neighbor, pray with others and in private, bring our troubles to the Lord, and be peacemakers. All of these things have their place, and nothing may be overlooked, but they may cause us to feel confused and divided, and we might even ask ourselves where we will find the strength to do all that is required.... We are pulled in different directions, and instead of finding peace, we become restless. What we need most is a central idea, something so basic and comprehensive that it encompasses everything else. In my opinion that central idea is surrender. 

Surrender.

Total abandonment to the will of our Loving Father.

But, what is God's will? It's whatever circumstance you find yourself in right now. The life you are living today is God's will for you today. The people you are in contact with today, the work you are doing today, the cross you are carrying today -- all these are God's will for you, today. You needn't dismiss your current duties, tasks, or interactions, nor look past your current dissatisfactions and restlessness in order to go seek God's mysterious will somewhere "out there", because God is always present to you in this moment -- not only in the joys and satisfactions, but even in the tediums, confusions, aggravations, and grave sufferings.

Live with God in the present.

If you are someone who wallows in the past: You need to stop.

If you are someone who worries about the future: You need to stop.

We are not to live in the past or the future, we are to live in this day and in this moment. If one thing has guided my Lent this year, it's a commitment to live in the moment and not fret about the future ("What if...?") that was my tendency.

Do we trust God or not?

Another thing many of us need to hear: Stop trying to save the world! We are not responsible for that. If you need both living Popes to tell you that straight out so you'll believe it, then here you go, starting with Pope Francis' Lenten Message for 2015 (emphases mine, in light of the theme of surrender):

"The suffering of others is a call to conversion, since their need reminds me of the uncertainty of my own life and my dependence on God and my brothers and sisters. If we humbly implore God’s grace and accept our own limitations, we will trust in the infinite possibilities which God’s love holds out to us. We will also be able to resist the diabolical temptation of thinking that by our own efforts we can save the world and ourselves."

And from Pope Benedict XVI (again, emphases mine):

“There are times when the burden of need and our own limitations might tempt us to become discouraged. But precisely then we are helped by the knowledge that, in the end, we are only instruments in the Lord's hands; and this knowledge frees us from the presumption of thinking that we alone are personally responsible for building a better world. In all humility we will do what we can, and in all humility we will entrust the rest to the Lord. It is God who governs the world, not we. We offer him our service only to the extent that we can, and for as long as he grants us the strength. To do all we can with what strength we have, however, is the task which keeps the good servant of Jesus Christ always at work: 'The love of Christ urges us on' (2 Cor 5:14).”

You got that? You are not in control, and you cannot save the world or even yourself for that matter. So, take that weight off your shoulders and feel peace.


To wrap up today's ramblings:

Stop dwelling on the past (right now!).
Stop worrying about the future (right now!).
Stop trying to control everything (because you can't!).
Stop searching for God's mysterious will somewhere "out there" (because His will for you can be found right where you are!).

Start trusting God in everything. He's got you!
Start abandoning yourself totally to His will.
Start realizing that every person and every circumstance in your life is there for a good reason.
Start seeing God in this moment, right now, because this moment is where He meets you.
Start to feel the peace that Christ gives, the peace that surpasses all understanding. It's real!


Abandon yourself to the God who loves you. Cede control. Surrender.

He can be trusted.

Jesus saves Peter

My interview with Abby Johnson!

Over the years, I have posted about Abby Johnson, the former director of a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic in Texas who had a massive change of heart and became passionately pro-life. Her book, Unplanned: The dramatic true story of a former Planned Parenthood leader's eye-opening journey across the life line, is riveting. And like many of you, I could not put it down. Since then, I have linked her work on this blog often (including here and here), and I was thrilled to finally meet her in person last fall.

What a dynamic speaker! She was so well-received at the First Way Pregnancy Center banquet that night that First Way executive director Christine Accurso has invited her back to speak. If you are anywhere in the vicinity of Phoenix, you do not want to miss her talk, this Saturday, March 7, from 10:30 to 12:30, in Gilbert, Arizona.

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Abby has been asked a million questions, but these are some questions I've always wanted to ask her:

Q.  Abby, in several articles and in your book, Unplanned, you have beautifully expressed your own feelings about doing the work you did for Planned Parenthood and how you've grappled with things since you left. I’d like to hear more about how those around you felt when you were working at PP. For example, what did your parents think? How did they reconcile it with their Christians beliefs? And what advice would you give to those whose family members might be caught up working in the abortion industry today?


A.  My family is and always have been very prolife. I know that I am at this prolife point in my life in huge part to my praying parents. They never stopped praying and they never stopped believing that one day I would leave. I know there were times when they questioned God. But I think they kept going back to the scripture in Proverbs that talks about training your child up in the Lord. It doesn't say that they will never depart from His ways, but God promises that our children will come back to that foundation when they are older.

My husband was also prolife, which made things tense in our marriage at times. But I know he was also praying. He has told me before that he had confidence that I would one day leave. He says that he saw how much I genuinely cared for these women and that his prayer was that one day I would be able to see how taking the lives of their children was hurting them. He said that he knew once I made that connection, I would leave. And he was right.


Q.  Did you ever avoid telling people where you worked, or did you wear it as a badge of honor? If there was any discomfort in telling, was it because of your own unease or because you sensed that others might not approve?

A.  It was honestly a little bit of both. Internally, I was very proud of my work. But I just didn't want the hassle. I didn't want to have to defend what I did. I believed that what I did was right. But defending abortion is not an easy job. And many times, I just didn't want the fight.


Q.  If I had met you back in your PP days, what should I, a pro-lifer, have said to you? I know it’s a strange question, but I’d love to know the “right” thing to say if someone I meet informs me that she works at PP.

A.  I tell people that you should always speak the truth in love. But I think the most important part of that idea is actually listening more than you speak. Ask questions. "Why did you decide to work at Planned Parenthood? What do you love the most about your job? Are there any challenges?" I think what you will find is that many of these workers fall into two categories...

1. They don't really care about the politicized part of it at all. They just needed a job to pay the bills. 

Or

2. They have had abortions themselves and working in the industry is the easiest way for them to justify their own actions.

It's all about listening and asking genuine questions. It's not about being "right."



Q.  You worked often in the POC ("products of conception") room, counting and piecing together small body parts. Did you ever bring that home with you, or were you able to compartmentalize enough that you did not think of your work when you were at home?


Q.  Somehow, I was able to really keep that separate from my life outside of Planned Parenthood. I can't really explain how that work didn't bother me (really at all) except to say that when you are immersed in that type of evil, spiritual blindness is real.


Q.  Finally, I am so excited about your apostolate to abortion clinic workers and former clinic workers, And Then There Were None. Please tell us a little bit about your mission and what we can do to help support those courageous souls who wish to come out of the abortion industry once and for all.

A.  We are the only national ministry that offers comprehensive resources to abortion clinic workers. We have multiple ways that we can assist workers who want to leave their jobs. We provide professional resume writing, professional recruitment services, job training, one-on-one counseling and advisement, healing retreats, spiritual guidance and support, and limited financial assistance to help ease the burden after they leave their job inside the clinic.

We are working very hard to rehumanize the abortion clinic worker. I think for many years, we have looked at these people and blamed them for abortion. We have looked at them as our enemy. But they are not our enemy. Our enemy is sin. They are misguided sinners just like you and me.

I had someone say to me one time, "So what, you just think you are going to love these workers out of the abortion industry?" My reply was simple. "Yes. I absolutely believe we will. And we are." We have 141 former clinic workers who have come through our ministry. We feel like God has blessed us more than we could have ever imagined. But that's just how God is. He's in the business of conversion.

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Thank you Abby, for your courage and witness!

And again, if you are in the Phoenix area, don't miss her talk this Saturday! Tickets are priced at only $7 so that this event can be accessible to all.

If you are unable to attend, consider buying a ticket to donate to a medical student, as we certainly need those students to hear what Abby has to say. Email me at littlecatholicbubble@gmail.com for more details on how to get your ticket(s) to them. 

Russell Brand on porn.... Whaaat? He even quotes the Pope!

This is completely unexpected! Whoa. Way to go Russell Brand!

You see, this how Natural Law works. We can understand the universal moral law by the light of human reason. Almost every word he says here is in harmony with Catholic teaching (the "priest" of whom he speaks is none other than Pope St. John Paul II):

Don't be thrown by the fact that he is apparently naked in bed. He's making a point: He himself is not free of the scourge of porn in his life.

But he totally gets the big picture. 

Wow!

What a weekend!

I just had one of those transcendent weekends that only come along once in a blue moon!

First, on Friday I was privileged (understatement) to take part in the Mini-Synod on Masculine Identity and Mission with our wonderful Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted and 18 august and faithful presenters. 

I.am.so.flipping.excited. 

This is something so needed, so important, so necessary for the  health of family and culture, and right now this initiative of the Holy Spirit is in the germination stage, sprouting right here in the Diocese of Phoenix. I cannot wait to see where the Spirit takes it. Trust me, you all would have been blown away and so happy at what is percolating here. We had presenters from all walks of life, from scholars to generals to ordinary folks like me, some who flew in just for this gathering. I will keep you informed as things develop, and I ask for your prayers!

Then on Saturday, I was so honored to be a speaker at the 5th Annual Phoenix Catholic Women's Conference! What an amazing gathering of 500 beautiful sisters in Christ! The theme was "That Which is True, Beautiful, and Good". 

The speakers were gifted with these beautiful, commissioned icons
of Our Lady of Good Counsel. Such a blessing! 

My talk focused on the "True" for the most part, but I was struck by the talk on "Beauty" by sacred artist Ruth Ristow, a recent convert, who blew everyone away (and I was stunned and thrilled to realize that she is a member of my parish!). Former model and America's Next Top Model contestant Leah Darrow had everyone rapt with her powerful reversion story (baby #2 due soon!!), and Sr. Alison Conemac, SOLT, took us deep into the transcendentals (Truth, Goodness, Beauty). 

Dear friends, there is so much good happening. The Spirit is moving powerfully. Trust me on this. 

Okay, back to my regular life now! I hope your Lent is going well. :)

Getting ready for Lent!

It's Ash Wednesday, everyone! No, it's not a Holy Day of Obligation, but yes, attending Mass and receiving ashes is a profound and wonderful way to begin Lent. And yes, today is a day of fasting and abstinence (more about what that means, here).

I'm going to focus on spiritual posts this Lent, as usual. The last two years I posted some of Blessed Fulton Sheen's reflections on Jesus' Seven Last Words on the Cross, and you can find that again here. Those words can never be meditated upon too much!

For a simple but thorough look at the meaning of Lent and Lenten practices, go here:

The Lenten Workshop

If you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear what you're doing for Lent this year!

Remember my correspondence with an abortionist?

As I read yesterday that prolific abortionist and sexual predator Brian Finkel had lost his appeal (thank you, Lord!), it occurred to me that newer readers of this blog may not have read the personal correspondence I and my friend Kim Manning had with Finkel long before his arrest and conviction.

In addition to the tens of thousands of children he killed, Finkel sexually abused at least 60 women during abortions and exams, even as he told Kim and me that he was "much loved" in the community, a "servant of women" and his "only regret is that their are so many women that need my help, and that there is so little time to help them."

Indeed. And those women's testimonies helped to put him behind bars.

This a very sick man. Pray for him. We cannot concede even one soul to the devil.

And to get a glimpse into a very dark mind, go here:

My Correspondence with an Abortionist: Part I 

My Correspondence with an Abortionist: Part II

My Correspondence with an Abortionist: Part III

My Correspondence with an Abortionist: Part IV

My Correspondence with an Abortionist: Part V and Conclusion

Quick Takes: 50 Shades of BS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Suggestion for First Communion gift ... and GIVEAWAY!

It's just ingenious and so simple! The most beautiful book, in which every page corresponds to one bead of the Rosary and showcases one work of sacred art upon which to meditate! It's the perfect First Communion gift in my opinion, and I want to walk you through.

First, here's the book. The Joyful Mysteries: Illuminated by Sixty Works of Sacred Art (The Illuminated Rosary). Glossy cover, full color pages, quality stuff. And a really cute kid holding it (who is looking waaaaaay too big these days, sniff!):

Like I said, each page is a bead! So, you see where my finger is?

I'm pointing to two beads down there at the bottom. So we are on the second Hail Mary bead of the Visitation decade!

Now turn the page...

You can easily see that we are now on the third bead! Another Hail Mary, and a new scene of the Visitation on which to meditate!

Ten beautiful scenes for each of the five mysteries, one for each Hail Mary, artwork from different cultures, eras, and nations. Isn't it amazing? What a beautiful way to pray the Rosary with your child!

Of course there are pages with the Our Father as you begin each new Mystery:

And all the beginning and ending prayers as well.

I am always frustrated when I look for First Communion gifts, because usually the things in my price range are... chintzy. I love that this book is elegant, beautiful, affordable, and actually useful!

I wouldn't restrict its potential to kids and First Communion, though. Honestly, I find it hard to pray the Rosary myself, and the format and pictures help keep my mind and eyes focused all the way through. Adults who are new to the Church or the Rosary will really appreciate this book, too. (Just this moment as I'm typing, I thought of how perfect it would have been for my mother-in-law, Carol, who asked me to teach her to pray the Rosary the last time I saw her....)

Check out a slideshow preview of the book here to see more of the captivating artwork.

The Sorrowful Mysteries edition is coming next, and it should be available to order from Peanut Butter & Grace by mid-week, and from Amazon by Ash Wednesday. The Glorious Mysteries book is slated for Easter, with the Luminous Mysteries following in May.

Isn't that the coolest thing?? I want all four.

And now for our giveaway! The author of The Illuminated Rosary, Jerry Windley-Daoust, also wrote a wonderful little book called 77 Ways to Pray with Your Kids (A Peanut Butter & Grace Guide for Catholic Families), which will end up in the homes of five lucky readers!

This is practical help for Catholic parents who are looking for effective and interesting ways to pray with their children. This is the kind of stuff I love; look at how clear it gets (and I need clarity), even providing icons to tell me right away which of the activities and prayers will be appropriate for a particular age group:

More features include:

Articles on a wide range of practices: Liturgy of the Hours, the Rosary, Contemplative Prayer, Daily Examen, Lectio Divina, Novenas, and more.

Talking Points...explanations of prayer practices that kids might have questions about.

Cross-references to the Catechism, Scripture, and Church documents.

An appendix containing thirty-three common and useful Catholic prayers.

A quick-find index that makes it easy to find prayer ideas, and doubles as a checklist to track your progress.

Would you like a copy? Well, email me at littlecatholicbubble@gmail.com, and put "77 WAYS" in the subject line. In one week, I will use random.org to pick five winners. And if you want to double your chances to win, tell me in your email why you would like this book, or a little bit about your family, and I'll give you two entries! I love hearing the real life behind the emails.

Good luck everyone!

Matchmaking: We are going to find Jen a match!

Okay, so I am still riding the high of the recent engagement of two people who were featured on my private matchmaking blog, so I'm doing a rare Bubble matchmaking post, with Jen's enthusiastic permission! Jen was the very first woman I profiled on my private blog, over two years ago. She is amazing. Simply amazing. She has yet to find a special Catholic man with whom to share her life, so we are pulling out all the stops. Everyone, meet Jen! And call your devoutly Catholic sons and brothers!

My name is Jen (obviously!) and I recently turned 30! So far, 30 has been awesome and I can only imagine that my thirties will continue to ROCK! I live in Florida and am a school nurse.

I am a girl who loves her life, faith, family and friends. I am proud of my Catholic faith!  I desire to be part of a vibrant Catholic community, and I am really involved in my parish. I help with our youth group and coordinate the young adult program activities. What I love most, though, is the ability to give Christ in the Eucharist to others as a Eucharistic Minister. It's one of the most amazing and humbling encounters with others!

One of the first things people learn about me is this: I love kids!! I always have and I always will. :) It's why I am a pediatric nurse. It's why I chose to live and serve at an orphanage in Honduras. Some of my favorite moments are hanging out and snuggling with my goddaughter, Zuzu. Kids bring absolute joy to my heart. There is never a day that goes by and I am NOT smiling because of some adorable child.

In my spare time you can find me hanging out with friends, drinking coffee, blogging, eating (that can be a hobby, right?!), reading and catching up on some TV shows. I love being around people, but I also enjoy the quiet, downtime at home.

I guess the obvious question is what I am looking for, right?! I am looking for a strong, loving and passionately Catholic man! Not a perfect man, but someone striving for holiness, who seeks God's will in everything. He will stand up for what he believes in. Hold me accountable. And encourage me.

We will also be able to laugh and be silly! Go on adventures! Serve others! Learn new things! And banter. I'm kind of sarcastic, so I'll need someone to play along with that. :)

And, that's me in a nutshell. My email is jennifercox.rn@gmail.com if you would like to chat!  You all will be in my prayers!

Quick Takes: Only if you want to LAUGH OUT LOUD!!

1) There is a reason this video has been viewed millions of times. I think I've watched it at least a dozen times myself, and it gets funnier with each viewing! It's my hometown weatherman, Cory McCloskey, with the most hilarious save I've ever, ever seen. And knowing the towns and cities in question makes it just that much better.

Go ahead, claim your laughs for the day:

There, I was right, wasn't I? Now, watch it again.


2) Last year, I laughed so hard at this event that my cheeks literally hurt. Everyone who attended (well over a thousand people!) belly laughed for two hours straight. I would not miss this for the world, and if you are in Arizona, you shouldn't either! The icing on the cake is that Bridget Hurley, who conceived and runs Laugh4Hope (which was inspired by the Blessed Mother), is a dear friend of mine here in the Phoenix Bubble, a mommy in my inner sanctum. She and her volunteers get an event of this magnitude up and running with little children running around underfoot. Please join us, because we all need to laugh more! And laughing for a good cause is the best thing I can think of....

Click the image above and get your tickets now! And yes, Tom Wilson (a Catholic) is the actor who played Biff in Back to the Future!




3) I was absolutely thrilled to come across this company, because I do love tea. This delightful, delicious tea not only comes straight from China, but my purchase directly helps and supports Catholics in that Communist nation. Check out their gorgeous website and variety of teas: I think you will be impressed, too:

Crossings Tea

I love the Church in China. They are heroes.

4) Speaking of Catholics in foreign lands, I received an important email from a woman in Slovakia, asking all of you for your prayers:

Hi Leila,

I would like to ask for prayers and also perhaps your blog community.
I am from Slovakia and I do not know whether you have heard about it
already or not but on February 7, Slovakians will have the opportunity
to support marriage and the natural family in a nationwide referendum.
You can imagine how the media are crazy about it and are trying to
ruin the referendum or at least to negatively influence people.

The referendum questions:

1. Marriage: Do you agree that no union but that between a man and a
woman can be called marriage?
2. Adoption: Do you agree that it should not be permitted for same-sex
couples to adopt and raise children?
3. Sex education and euthanasia: Do you agree that schools should not
oblige pupils to attend lectures on the subject of sexual behavior and
euthanasia if their parents do not approve?

I believe that this is a really big thing happening and even though
we are a small country, in case the referendum is successful it may
lead other countries to follow. Please pray for us, with God's help
everything is possible.

Thank you very much.

United in prayers
one of your readers Michaela


In a follow-up email, Michaela lamented that "lately there is such a terrible push from the Western countries [for us to accept same-sex 'marriage' and adoption]", and that "many people want to be 'modern' as the West."

What a tragedy! A huge push from the West for Eastern Europe to accept the Culture of Death, just like the push that is happening in Africa. And the Slovakians want to be "modern" like us -- which is just what our wonderful friend Obianuju Ekeocha (Uju) said to me about her own Nigeria, and of Africa in general: Young people there want to be "sophisticated and modern" like Westerners. Oh, how sad that anyone would want to emulate our painfully confused and disconnected culture. The "modern and sophisticated" things they see the West doing are not worthy of emulation! There is nothing sophisticated about sin and moral relativism. Not one thing. The Culture of Death brings death and nothing more.

Please pray for Michaela's countrymen as they approach the referendum on February 7, and for Uju as she continues her amazing work with Culture of Life Africa (COLA).


5) Remember Pope Francis and "RabbitGate"? What a silly dust up that was, but hopefully we all understand the context now. As someone who has said things in conversation that I wish I hadn't said in just that way, I feel for Pope Francis, and he clearly feels bad about the whole misunderstanding, too. Through a statement by Archbishop Giovanni Becciu, the Pope offered an apology for anyone who might have been hurt by what they thought he meant:

“The Pope is truly sorry that it created such disorientation. He absolutely did not want to disregard the beauty and the value of large families,” Archbishop Becciu stated. 

“Seeing the headlines, the Holy Father, with whom I spoke yesterday, smiled and was a bit surprised that his words were not fully contextualized with regards to a very clear passage of Humanae Vitae on responsible parenthood,” Archbishop Becciu stated.

A lot of us were surprised, dear Papa.


6) We talk a lot on this blog about the defiling and misuse of human sexuality that manifests in so many forms and is always contrary to human dignity, but I don't think I've mentioned sex trafficking yet, which is a massive global tragedy. Thanks to a reader, Elizabeth, I want to direct you to the site of Operation Underground Railroad, whose business is rescuing kidnapped children from slavery.

As a mother, I can't even let my mind go there. I can only thank God that there are ways we can help, and that there are brave people who do this work of saving the innocent. Please check them out if your heart is moved to help.


7) Another way to save the innocent is to adopt those in great need. Just look at sweet Emery! This bright 5-year-old boy has dwarfism and is in need of a family.

Click photos for more information. 

Oh, my goodness, this little one is ready to take on the world, as soon as he gets out of that orphanage! Pray for him, tell the world about him. Maybe you are called to go and make Emery your own son.

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Well, everyone, have a beautiful Sunday, and after Mass and family time, enjoy the Big Game!!