After 49 years, I re-lit my baptismal candle today

49 years ago today, I was baptized at the Bethesda Naval Hospital Chapel, at one month old. My parents had given me the gift of natural life, and now they presented me for the gift of eternal life. In this second birth, I was born of water and the Spirit, and my baptismal candle, representing the Light of Christ, was lit for the first time. It was then carefully, lovingly wrapped and packed away.

I wish you could see this in person!
Beautiful three-dimentional images,
stunning detail, yellowed with age.

In the waters of Baptism, I died and rose with Christ. Original Sin was washed away, and my soul was infused with sanctifying grace, the very life of God Himself, without which I could not live in the presence of God, i.e., in Heaven. This baptism was no "symbolic reenactment", no simple "remembrance" of a Bible scene -- I had become, in fact, a new creation in Christ. My soul was literally cleansed and made holy, and I had become incorporated into the Mystical Body of Christ.

Though I was given the gift of supernatural life in abundance, I naturally retained concupiscence, which is the tendency to be drawn to sin. Concupiscence is the one effect of Adam's sin that remains with all of us, even the baptized. So, when life was lived, often in willful ignorance and self-love, and despite prompts and nudges from both the Lord and my Blessed Mother, I went my own way. I squandered the baptismal grace with which the Lord had so lavishly flooded my soul.

Baptism -- which leaves a mark or "character" on a soul for all eternity, even an eternity in hell -- can not be repeated (there is only "one baptism" as St. Paul and the ancient Creed say). And yet, I needed God's sanctifying grace to enter Heaven someday, as no mere human can survive in God's presence without it. How could I get it back?

Christ never leaves us orphans. He knew that if we sinned gravely, severing our friendship with Him, we would need access to His grace again. When we fall from grace by committing mortal sin, we come back through the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). This is the cycle of redemption: Baptism, which is the ordinary means of salvation, then Confession when we choose evil and need restoration. 

So at 27 years old, when I finally learned and claimed my faith, I drove to my hometown two hours away and entered a Tucson confessional after at least 15 years away. I emerged reconciled, restored, and grace-filled, and I floated out into the sun-drenched parking lot with a spirit lighter than air!

Though I had wounded the Body of Christ through sin, my repentance, confession, penance, and prayers served to lift up and restore that Body. The grace of my baptism was replenished, and the Light of Christ burned bright in me again.

Many people light their baptismal candles every year on the anniversary of their birth in Christ. That has never been our family's tradition, but today I remembered the date, and with infinite gratitude to God and my parents, I sought out my candle.

And today, after 49 years, I lit that candle for the second time.

My soul is full of joy!









Related posts:

Mortal and Venial Sins

The Fall of Adam and Eve

Understanding the two kinds of grace

This is a bit of a rerun. What follows is the modified answer to a Doctrinal Quiz Show from back in February (omitting the fun stuff like the bonus question and Bubble Awards!). It's a good prelude to my next (half-written) post that, God willing, will be fully written before you all forget there ever was such a thing as a Little Catholic Bubble! Okay, here we go….

There are two kinds of grace: sanctifying grace and actual grace.

Sanctifying grace is the very life of God (let that sink in!). It is interior grace, which dwells in the soul and transforms it, making it holy. The ordinary way we receive sanctifying grace is through the sacraments.

Actual grace is supernatural help from God (like nudges). It is external grace, working on us from the outside only; it does nothing to change the state of our soul. Everyone receives actual grace, and it comes to us when we need it. We have the free will to cooperate with it or ignore it.

Let's go into a little detail about each.*

Sanctifying Grace

I'll start with an analogy that was very helpful to me: We all know that our human nature is not equipped to live in the ocean. We will die there unless we have something outside of (or above) our nature to sustain us. Scuba gear is the apparatus that allows us to transcend our human nature and live underwater. Similarly, our human nature is not equipped to live in Heaven. Sanctifying grace is the "apparatus" that allows us to transcend our human nature and live in Heaven. We need sanctifying grace, for in our merely human state, we are simply not equipped to live in the presence of God.

When God created our first parents, Adam and Eve, He immediately infused them with the extraordinary gift of sanctifying grace (i.e., a sharing of His divine life). This undeserved gift elevated them above their own human nature and allowed them to live in the direct presence of God. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve threw away this supernatural gift when they "fell from grace" by choosing to sin. Without sanctifying grace, they were now separated from God, and Heaven was closed to them.

Since the Fall, humans are no longer given the gift of sanctifying grace at their creation. However, thanks to Jesus Christ and His atoning death, we are able to receive the gift of sanctifying grace through the sacraments of His Church. At our baptism, our souls are infused with sanctifying grace (God's very life!), and we become fit for Heaven. Assuming we continue to live in God's friendship and not commit mortal sin, this grace can continue to grow in our souls throughout our lives (through our prayers, acts of mercy and love, penance, etc.), making us increasingly holy. We hope to die in a state of grace.

Actual Grace

Actual grace is like little nudges from God. These nudges can take many different forms and come to us from many different places (and people). Actual grace could come in the form of your mother reminding you not to miss Mass on Sunday, or a friend telling you that you should get to confession. It could be a catastrophic event which leaves you on your knees before God, when before you wouldn't have gone near Him. It could be the promptings of your own conscience when confronted with your sins. It might be a class you took or a book you read which compelled you in the direction of justice or righteousness or humility. It could be the unexpected presence of a holy person or the feeling of awe you get when you look at a coastal sunset. It could be just about anything which moves you closer to the Lord.

Actual grace can be acted on or it can be ignored; but just like a train, there will always be another "nudge" coming around soon. God never abandons anyone, and every human being on the planet receives as much actual grace as is necessary to prompt one to seek out salvation. Unlike sanctifying grace, actual grace does not touch the interior of a person, but only works from the outside. Actual grace does not change the state of a person's soul, but is merely the agent that pushes a soul to seek out and receive sanctifying grace.

+++++++

*When I taught myself the Catholic Faith in the mid-90s (before I had internet), I bought a great set of little tracts from Catholic Answers. They were chock-full of practical, easy-to-understand information, and much of what you are reading here is from those tracts. You can find all of that today on their website.

"That makes sense, but...."

I've heard it a lot in the past few months:

"That makes sense, but...."  

I didn't really notice it at first, but it's frequent enough now that it's got my attention. Looking back, I repeated the very same sentiment when I first encountered what I now understand to be objective truth. Perhaps it's a universal reaction to a brush with God.

Here's how it goes:

We encounter a moral truth presented clearly and joyfully. It is a beautiful vision, and it resonates in our heart. It is simple, elegant and even transcendent. It speaks to our human dignity, and we are compelled, even delighted by it. It makes sense. However, for any number of reasons specific to the hearer, it is not immediately embraced. It is admired from afar, praised as a captivating ideal, but....

"That makes sense, but...."

That's when I want to burst out with, Wait! Stop! Just stop right after the "that makes sense" and forget the "but"! 

We moderns love to overcomplicate things, which is a shame.   Now, I'll grant you that circumstances are often complicated, emotions are often complicated, people are often complicated. But core principles, pure ideals and objective truth? Not complicated. While they are infinitely deep, sublime and profound, they are -- in essence -- quite simple.

A saint once said something that's become my motto: "Truth comes with graces attached." That would be actual grace, knocking on the door to our heart, stirring our soul. God Himself tells us that He speaks not in the fire nor in the earthquake, but in a gentle whisper. When something makes beautiful sense, take notice.

I'll close with a friendly challenge, which comes from my own life experience: If you hear yourself saying, "That makes sense," try following it up with "Okay, what now?" instead of "but...." Do that, and you might be amazed where you'll find yourself this time next year.  :)

Human dignity

The great conversation continues about the "hook-up" culture, a culture that I contend is the natural result of the the sexual revolution and modern feminist philosophy. I want to thank Complicated Life for making an excellent point during a discussion of sexual purity:

Sexual purity is rightly to be valued and honored, but it is not the source of a woman (or man's) self-worth. We have worth because of our human dignity. Sexual purity is proper to our DIGNITY as human persons; a dignity that is inherent in being a person.

This cannot be stressed enough: No one has to earn or apply for human dignity. Not the unborn, not the elderly, not the disabled, not the mentally ill, not the hardened criminal. Not anyone. No one has to prove his innate value. Human beings have value simply because we exist. Our dignity is inherent.


Are you a nasty gossip? You still have human dignity.
Are you a lazy slob? You still have human dignity.
Are you a lecherous creep? You still have human dignity.
Are you a greedy corporate raider? You still have human dignity.
Are you an unrepentant serial killer? You still have human dignity. 


Do you feel like the most worthless, unloved, unknown person on the planet? It's not true. You are worthy, loved and known. And you have human dignity.


But why? 


Because human beings were made in the image and likeness of God. It's that simple. 


It's true that we can speak against our human dignity, we can act against our human dignity, we can deny or denounce our human dignity, but we cannot erase it or change the reality of it.


Pope Benedict XVI said it beautifully:

We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.

You are not a random product of chance. You are not a fluke. You are not here by accident, just waiting to go "poof" into non-existence someday. You are known. You were planned. You exist because Someone wanted you to exist. 

As I've said before and will continue to say, you were made to love and be loved.

And if you understand what true love is, and Who true love is, you will never doubt your own human dignity again, and you will begin to live as a child of God.

Answers to Doctrinal Quiz Show: Amazing Grace! Plus, Bubble Awards!

*This just in: Hannah Rose was born this morning to Kaitlin at More Like Mary, More Like Me! Praise God and congratulations!!




Welcome back, Bubble contestants! You've all been waiting patiently, probably sitting by the computer all weekend, so let's get to our answers.


The question was:


Name and describe the different types of grace.


And the answer....


The two kinds of grace are sanctifying grace and actual grace.


Sanctifying grace is the very life of God (let that sink in!). It is interior grace, which dwells in the soul and transforms it, making it holy. The ordinary way we receive sanctifying grace is through the sacraments.


Actual grace is supernatural help from God (like nudges). It is external grace, working on us from the outside only; it does nothing to change the state of our soul. Everyone receives actual grace, and it comes to us when we need it. We have the free will to cooperate with it or ignore it.


Let's go into a little detail about each.*

Sanctifying Grace

I'll start with an analogy that was very helpful to me: We all know that our human nature is not equipped to live in the ocean. We will die there unless we have something outside of (or above) our nature to sustain us. Scuba gear is the apparatus that allows us to transcend our human nature and live underwater. Similarly, our human nature is not equipped to live in Heaven. Sanctifying grace is the "apparatus" that allows us to transcend our human nature and live in Heaven. We need sanctifying grace, for in our merely human state, we are simply not equipped to live in the presence of God.


When God created our first parents, Adam and Eve, He immediately infused them with the extraordinary gift of sanctifying grace (i.e., a sharing of His divine life). This undeserved gift elevated them above their own human nature and allowed them to live in the direct presence of God. Unfortunately, Adam and Eve threw away this supernatural gift when they "fell from [sanctifying] grace" by choosing to sin. Without sanctifying grace, they were now separated from God, and Heaven was closed to them.


Since the Fall, humans are no longer given the gift of sanctifying grace at their creation. However, thanks to Jesus Christ and His atoning death, we are able to receive the gift of sanctifying grace through the sacraments of His Church. At our baptism, our souls are infused with sanctifying grace (God's very life!), and we become fit for Heaven. Assuming we continue to live in God's friendship and not commit mortal sin, this grace can continue to grow in our souls throughout our lives (through our prayers, acts of mercy and love, penance, etc.), making us increasingly holy. We hope to die in a state of grace.

Actual Grace

Actual grace is like little nudges from God. These nudges can take many different forms and come to us from many different places (and people). Actual grace could come in the form of your mother reminding you not to miss Mass on Sunday, or a friend telling you that you should get to confession. It could be a catastrophic event which leaves you on your knees before God, when before you wouldn't have gone near Him. It could be the promptings of your own conscience when confronted with your sins. It might be a class you took or a book you read which compelled you in the direction of justice or righteousness or humility. It could be the unexpected presence of a holy person or the feeling of awe you get when you look at a coastal sunset. It could be just about anything which moves you closer to the Lord.


Actual grace can be acted on or it can be ignored; but just like a train, there will always be another "nudge" coming around soon. God never abandons anyone, and every human being on the planet receives as much actual grace as is necessary to prompt one to seek out salvation. Unlike sanctifying grace, actual grace does not touch the interior of a person, but only works from the outside. Actual grace does not change the state of a person's soul, but is merely the agent that pushes a soul to seek out and receive sanctifying grace.


Now to the bonus question:

What is "the source and summit" of the Christian Faith?


I was thrilled that so many of you knew the answer! The Eucharist is "the source and summit" of the Christian Faith, because the Eucharist is truly Jesus Christ -- Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. He is the source and summit of everything, and we have Him with us! We are truly blessed!


Now let's seamlessly transition into the presentation of the Bubble Awards!!

The Just Because I Feel Sorry For Her Award goes to... Mary! Her multiple comments, heartfelt pleas, brutal honesty, clever wit ("the little girl I used to babysit"), liberal use of smiley faces, and general DQS enthusiasm struck a soft spot in my heart.

The Oh No, Wait a Second, Do They Know More Than I Do About This? Award goes to... Stacy Trasancos and her husband for throwing out big themes of grace that left me thinking I needed to do more research because they sounded really theological and scholarly, while I was going off something I read from a little tract. (Wait, I see now that you commented a second time, taking yourself out of the competition. I hereby revoke this award. Maybe I'll give it to Calah and the Ogre instead.)

The "Are You Proud of Yourselves?" Romper Room Award for Juvenile Behavior on a Doctrinal Quiz Show goes to... Beth and Cathy! For reasons which are well known to them. (That last line is from the book Mommie Dearest. Can anyone tell me, without cheating, the context of that line?)

The Making Excuses, aka Quit Yer Whining, Award goes to... JoAnna and Brenda! (And remember, blame-shifting is not a Christian virtue.)

The Just in the Nick of Time Award goes to... Sew! Because I always promised to give her an award anytime she participated. See, Sew, I am a woman of my word!

And, the GRAND PRIZE BUBBLE AWARD for getting the correct answer goes to:

NUBBY!!!!

My dear Nubby, you are not only the winner of the incredible DVD documentary, Watch With Me, but you also get to put the coveted Bubble Award Icon on your mantle at home (or start a blog and put it there)! Hooray!!!

Please send your mailing address to littlecatholicbubble@gmail.com, and I will get your DVD sent out to you right away!

(Anyone wanting to purchase a copy can go to this link. Thank you, All You Who Hope!)

Now, if for any reason Nubby is unable to fulfill her duties as the Bubble Award Grand Prize Winner, the First Runner Up will assume her title, prizes, and glory. The First Runner Up is...

GOD ALONE SUFFICES!!!!!

(Dear GAS, this is the first time I've decided to designate a runner-up! Congratulations! You got the right answer, but Nubby beat you by about 20 hours.)

Okay, folks, that's all for this episode of Doctrinal Quiz Show!! Tune in next time when I ask you to list all 265 popes by memory! Start studying, y'all!

{applause, applause, applause, and fade....}


*When I taught myself the Catholic Faith in the mid-90s (before I had internet), I bought this great set of little tracts from Catholic Answers. They were chock-full of practical, easy-to-understand information, and much of what you are reading here is from those tracts. You can find all of that today on their website.

Doctrinal Quiz Show: Amazing Grace!

Welcome, contestants, to the very first Doctrinal Quiz Show of 2011! It's been waaaay too long! 

And, I've been waaaay too lazy: DQS requires two posts, lots of wit (often in short supply here), complete accuracy, and careful, heart-wrenching award decisions (I know that many of you are left devastated -- but that's the nature of the game show).

Let's go our surprisingly short DQS question:

Name and describe the different types of grace.

And just for fun, I am going to throw in a bonus question:

What is "the source and summit" of the Christian Faith?

Remember: No cheating, googling, reading others' answers, rule-breaking, lying, deceitfulness, fighting, detraction, calumny, slander, or apostasy allowed! Remember, this Bubble is now blessed, so this is sacred space, people! Respect it!

Now, I realize that no prize can equal the holey soap award of old, but I am very excited about our Grand Prize this time around!

Our very own All You Who Hope is a documentary film maker in her spare time (in other words, she's not making any films at the moment), and she is donating a copy of her incredible documentary on Eucharistic Adoration, Watch With Me.

Here's the trailer:

With that incentive, I know you are all chomping at the bit to win this thing, so... GO!