Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It changed my life... and blew my mind! Part I

Okay, so first let me tell you a little story....


About 15 years ago, I fell in love with my Catholic Faith. I had been a lukewarm Catholic before that point, and I was ready to jump ship for an evangelical Bible Church. 


Now, people are pulled toward God in different ways, i.e., they are attracted to God's beauty, God's unity, God's goodness, God's truth, etc. For me, the path to God came through truth. Truth is wildly attractive to me, and when I followed it, it led me to the fullness of Catholicism. Life suddenly made perfect, beautiful sense. 


It sounds weird, but I felt like I almost had an "infusion" of knowledge of the Faith. My friend Kim and I were asked by our priest to design and teach an RCIA program while still in our first year of studying Catholicism, and before Kim was even a Catholic. It was almost too easy. (I have since learned a little bit about different charisms, with which we have all been gifted. More on that in a future post.)


For about five years after my reversion, I had a deep love affair with God's truth. I was obsessed with doctrine. I read, I studied, I wrote, I taught, I spoke doctrine and apologetics. It was beyond exciting and perfectly fulfilling.... Until it suddenly became a teensy bit tedious.


So, after five years of teaching, I thought: Is this all I am supposed to do? It's incredibly beautiful, this Truth, but what now? I mean, I can defend Purgatory six ways to Sunday, from the biblical, historical and logical bases, but something is missing.


In the back of my mind, I knew that that "something" was a deeper prayer life, a more profound love relationship with the Lord, and a growth in personal holiness. 


The only problem? That part sounded so boring! Sure, I liked reading and teaching about the communion of saints, and I loved growing in knowledge about the Most Holy Trinity. But I didn't want to do the laborious stuff it would take to become a saint; and I was more interested in knowing about God than actually knowing God. Sad, right? But those of you who live more in your head than your heart will know what I mean.


Then one day, Kim told me about a book she read that had rocked her world. She'd heard about it from a fellow convert and friend of ours, who was also blown away by what it contained. When Kim described it to me, I was energized! I instinctively knew that the knowledge I would receive via this little book would break me out of my doctrinal malaise. 


That was an underestimation, as it turned out to be a watershed event in my life as a Christian. 


I discovered the spiritual equivalent of a nuclear bomb.


To be continued…




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21 comments:

  1. waiting with baited breath... or is it bated breath? Either way, that's what I am.

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  2. That is the spiritual equivalent of a nuclear bomb. I share your quest (and style) I pursued degrees in "Religious Studies" but soon found out that I had to LIVE IT OUT in order to "get it."

    Have I lived it out? Yes and No. After my degrees I became a missionary (I "got" it a bit better than in academia).

    But, now, 15 years later I am back at being a Novice again.

    My relationship with Christ needs to start ALL OVER AGAIN.

    But, maybe that's the point?

    Good post.

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  3. Ooh this is exciting! Btw, check out my friend Mary's post ..The Screllos on my sidebar.

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  4. The suspense is killing me! I'm loving this two-part special!

    I had a somewhat-similar experience in college. My best friend was Methodist and studying the Catholic faith. We dove into apologetics and doctrine- and I found myself getting lost in the head knowledge of it all- which just leads to pride, and you know where THAT leads....Not good!

    I've found the verse from St John's Gospel to be key- we must worship in Spirit AND Truth. Not one without the other, but both are necessary for true worship.

    Can't wait for part 2!

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  5. Does anyone have any guesses? I'm dying to know.

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  6. Waiting patiently (well, waiting without any other option) for the title of this book. I can always enjoy a little mind-blowing-ness!

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  7. I am on the edge of my seat! I too "live in my head" a little more than I would like to admit. :)

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  8. I can totally identify with your love of apologetics etc, but while I tend to live in my heart, I lack self discipline in a lot of ways, and a deeper prayer life definitely requires this.
    I can't wait to read part 2! :)

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  9. Love the comments and the experiences shared here!

    Man, the pressure's on... I'd better start writing part two! :)

    (TCIE, did you have to give it away???)

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  10. can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

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  11. This is me to a tee! All doctrine and apologetics, very little prayer. I can't wait to see what the prescription is!

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  12. Do I have to read it? What if I don't have doctrine?

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  13. You're killing me! I'm not very good a waiting. :) I think you're enjoying this aren't you. :) Hehe! Can't wait to here what it is as I'm the same way.

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  14. I can't wait to hear what "the book" is, and read it myself.

    I think the greatest part of this horribly depressing recurrent m/c road has been my faith has deepened and I am closer to the Lord. Maybe that is what he was aiming for?

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  15. Me too me too, I wanna know!!

    Oh and I just wanted to tell you, I was talking to my brother last night who just started college, and he told me he is going to start going to daily mass twice a week at the Newman Center! So far he's staying on the right path!

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  16. Believe me, if I could, I would be blogging 18 hours a day, ha!! I will (hopefully) be done with part two by tomorrow!

    Hebrews, email me a photo, now!!! ;)

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  17. Looking forward to learn the name of the book and hear the rest of your story.

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