About 15 years ago, I fell in love with my Catholic Faith. I had been a lukewarm Catholic before that point, and I was ready to jump ship for an evangelical Bible Church.
Now, people are pulled toward God in different ways, i.e., they are attracted to God's beauty, God's unity, God's goodness, God's truth, etc. For me, the path to God came through truth. Truth is wildly attractive to me, and when I followed it, it led me to the fullness of Catholicism. Life suddenly made perfect, beautiful sense.
It sounds weird, but I felt like I almost had an "infusion" of knowledge of the Faith. My friend Kim and I were asked by our priest to design and teach an RCIA program while still in our first year of studying Catholicism, and before Kim was even a Catholic. It was almost too easy. (I have since learned a little bit about different charisms, with which we have all been gifted. More on that in a future post.)
For about five years after my reversion, I had a deep love affair with God's truth. I was obsessed with doctrine. I read, I studied, I wrote, I taught, I spoke doctrine and apologetics. It was beyond exciting and perfectly fulfilling.... Until it suddenly became a teensy bit tedious.
So, after five years of teaching, I thought: Is this all I am supposed to do? It's incredibly beautiful, this Truth, but what now? I mean, I can defend Purgatory six ways to Sunday, from the biblical, historical and logical bases, but something is missing.
In the back of my mind, I knew that that "something" was a deeper prayer life, a more profound love relationship with the Lord, and a growth in personal holiness.
The only problem? That part sounded so boring! Sure, I liked reading and teaching about the communion of saints, and I loved growing in knowledge about the Most Holy Trinity. But I didn't want to do the laborious stuff it would take to become a saint; and I was more interested in knowing about God than actually knowing God. Sad, right? But those of you who live more in your head than your heart will know what I mean.
Then one day, Kim told me about a book she read that had rocked her world. She'd heard about it from a fellow convert and friend of ours, who was also blown away by what it contained. When Kim described it to me, I was energized! I instinctively knew that the knowledge I would receive via this little book would break me out of my doctrinal malaise.
That was an underestimation, as it turned out to be a watershed event in my life as a Christian.
I discovered the spiritual equivalent of a nuclear bomb.