Friday, January 3, 2014

Quick Takes: The first post of 2014!

1) Happy New Year, everyone! Wheeeeeee!

I love that (almost) the whole world celebrates together each year, this time ringing in 2014 A.D. That number, 2,014, is simply counting time forward (give or take a few years) from the center of history, which is the arrival Our Lord Jesus Christ on this planet. That's what A.D. stands for after all: Anno Domini -- "In the Year of Our Lord". And of course, B.C. stands for "Before Christ".

In recent decades, secular academics have tried to wipe out such Christ-ly references, substituting "BCE" (Before the Common Era) and "CE" (Common Era) for B.C and A.D. But that makes me chuckle, because, uh, what exactly is it that delineates the "Common Era" from "Before the Common Era"? Ah, that's right! It's the arrival of Jesus Christ!

No matter how you spin it, Christ and His Cross stand at the focal point of human history. As it should be.

2) January 1 was not only New Year's Day, but was also the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God -- a holy day of obligation. During my reversion journey, I was surprised to discover that the title "Mother of God" is controversial to most Protestants. I sort of understood their confusion about her perpetual virginity and her immaculate conception, but not this. After all, it's right there in Scripture, as Elizabeth greets a pregnant Mary:

"And why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" 
-- Luke 1:43

Jesus is God. Mary is His Mother. Mary is the Mother of God. Not the Mother of the Trinity, by the way (no one is claiming that), but the Mother of God Incarnate. This teaching is ancient, and to claim that Mary is not the Mother of God is a Christological heresy that was put down by the Council of Ephesus in 431 AD.

For more, check out Catholic Answers' Mary Mother of God.

3) Ick. Ick. Yuck. Ick. That's all I could think when I was reading through this piece that made the rounds on facebook recently:

It's icky to read through, but then in its aftermath there is sadness. It is sad to know that a good portion of American and western youth feel as the author does.

Contrast those sentiments to the words of Pope Francis at World Youth Day last summer:

Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion; in a culture of relativism and the ephemeral, many preach the importance of "enjoying" the moment. They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, "forever", because we do not know what tomorrow will bring.
I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes that you are incapable of responsibility, that you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage "to swim against the tide". Have the courage to be happy.

Be a rebel for marriage, dear youth!

4) Some of you followed the heartbreaking yet beautiful journey of a young wife and mother, Angela Faddis, as she fought her battle with advanced colon cancer (diagnosed on Easter Day 2011, died last year). The grace surrounding this woman and her family was palpable, and it spread throughout the world.

I saw a wonderful update from her dear husband Chris the other day, and it's worth your time:

And, read this from a mother at Sandy Hook who, before the tragedy there (her children survived, her friend Jenny's child did not), found inspiration from Angela's journey, though she had never met her:

This is our Catholic Faith, friends. It's the crucible, and it's ultimately unspeakable joy.

5)  I do not like tattoos, but I'd consider tattooing this quote by St. Maximilian Kolbe to the inside of my eyeballs if it could be forever in my sight:

“To combat evil… is to fight with love for all men, including those who are less good. It is to put goodness in relief, so as to make it more attractive, rather than to propagate evil by describing it. When the occasion presents itself to call the attention of society, or of authority, to some evil, it must be done with love for the person to blame, and with delicacy. Do not exaggerate; do not go into detail about the evil any more than is necessary to remedy it.”

This from a man who stared the greatest of evil square in the eye, who was tortured and murdered in a Nazi concentration camp after volunteering to be starved (and ultimately injected with poison) in place of a condemned man who had children and begged to be spared. St. Maximilian Kolbe comforted his fellow prisoners in their long agonies, and loved and forgave his murderers to the end.

He, along with the other myriad saints of our Church, has earned the moral authority to tell me what to do to combat evil. I am trying to listen.

6) Parents, this is long but do not let the length deter you. Every situation is unique, and we should all modify according to our own situation and children, but there is wisdom here to mine:

7) I believe it was last winter that I profiled sweet Giselle, wondering if this malnourished little girl would last through that brutal Eastern European winter. This winter I wonder the same thing.

Will she ever find a family? Please pray for her, and consider sharing her plight with others. Or, perhaps she belongs in your own family?

Please click my photo for more information!


A Blessed New Year to all of you, and thanks to Jen for hosting Quick Takes!


  1. Every time you post about an orphan, Leila, it breaks my heart. However, keep posting! Every time I see an orphan who needs a family, makes me open to adoption a little more. I don't know if it's in the cards for us, but I have enough happy endings surrounding me of proof that it can happen!

    Love especially #2, I have never understood this controversy about us honoring the Mother of God either. She is the Mother of God, of course she should be honored! She is above us in this role, and just as we honor the Pope and the President for their higher roles in life, so should she. It is just right.

    1. Not sure if the word "honor" is the correct word for the Pope and President but you know what I mean!

  2. I get the push to change the date from BC to BCE and CE. We do not really know when Jesus was born, but we are pretty sure it was not December 25, 2014 years ago.

  3. The lack of precise date/time seems irrelevant to me, though. What is it that delineates BCE from CE?

    And I believe the change was made for politically correct reasons, wasn't it? And not because of concerns that we don't know the exact date/year that Jesus was born.

  4. Oh, something we agree on! I absolutely loathed that marriage post too. It felt like a long, terribly-written explanation of why the author herself is really, truly not ready for marriage (or heck, even a wedding, if she's planning on being so freaked out she'll need to get drunk). If it's as bad as she thinks, we're on a fast path to extinction.

  5. I guess it just seems funny that we all follow a calendar based on incorrect information.

    I can see though why that would seem irrelevant though.

    I don't think it is political correctness. Why should Christians get the entire calendar based on their messiah and no one else gets too. It is a new world, one where Hindus and Atheists and Jews actually exist. Obviously we can't just change the date, but calling it something different would make little difference.

  6. Michelle (existenceandessence), I am so glad we agree!!

    Chelsea, there have always been other religions and groups "existing", so how is this a "new world"? It's not like everyone was Christian previous to now. I'm confused by that.

  7. Even more so: they existed so lets include them. I was mainly thinking "we no longer allow one religion try and rule the entire world, because we all agree that did not work in the past".

    Muslims and Jews also agree that he had religious influence as well. Neither would agree that he is important enough to base the calendar off of him. So why should the calendar be based off of him for the Christians.

    BCE and CE just seems like a nice way to include everyone.

  8. Chelsea, are you aware that Christianity is what liberated slaves and women in the cultures that came before? What do you mean it didn't "work"? I am confused by that.

    I mentioned that the whole world celebrates the New Year on some level. But the whole world does not use the politically correct "BCE" and "CE". I doubt they have even heard of that. And I doubt they feel excluded at all. Just my hunch!

  9. "we no longer allow one religion try and rule the entire world, because we all agree that did not work in the past"

    Who is the "we" that no longer allows it (not sure if that is even possible)? And who is the "we all" that agree on that?

  10. Chelsea, I can see your point about being inclusive, but keep in mind that BCE and CE don't change the fact that the event being referred to – Christ's birth (death? did I make it up that AD could also refer to "after death"?) – is not something universally celebrated. Better to call a spade a spade, isn't it? Truly being inclusive would require us to pick another date to start counting from, and I don't think anyone is so upset about AD/BC that they'd want to go through that kind of trouble and confusion!

    January 3, 2014: the day Michelle agreed with Leila not once, but twice! Maybe I'm mellowing in my old age. ;)

  11. I'm disappointed. She apparently overlooked:

    Make a third cake (see her #6)
    Be Garbage Man for a Day
    Repeat the 12th grade

    Happy New Year!!!!!!!

  12. I never really had a problem with it, but I get why it is changing. A lot of things have religious roots, but we have sort of "separated" them by now.

    I am confused by your questions. I don't believe one religion gets to make all of the decisions for a group of people that include other religions, but I am sure you agree.

  13. Hey Leila,

    Happy New Year and congrats to your daughter! I havent been here in a while. A question if you don't mind, what precisely do you find problematic at the '23 things to do instead of getting married by 23 post.' The author isn't anti marriage just anti (young) marriage. And her list of 23 things is pretty pedestrian..she mentions making out with a stranger but thats about it.


  14. Michelle, this is a banner day, ha! I love it!

    Chelsea, I was just using your words. You said that "we no longer allow" and "we all agree". I am just wondering who the "we" referred to. I don't think we all come close to agreeing. Maybe all secular people agree? That might have been what you meant?

    Nubby, now those were funny!

  15. I think the religious people agree as well, unless it is their own religion of course.

    I am sure you would be quite upset if Obama were to declare that Sharia Law would be the rule, or that we all had to live by the Old Testament.

    But even your own religion has had some parts of its past where in trying to enforce it, blood was shed. It did not "work".

  16. Hi CS! Good to see you and happy New Year to you, too!

    Well, her #3, #11, #15 (if done proudly, and assuming good parents), #18, #20, #22 -- these are all signs of incredible immaturity. It would make a parent cringe to have raised a child to say or aspire to such things. It doesn't bode well for the future of our culture if these are the "virtues" that have replaced actual ones.

    As for the rest… they can be done, married or not. Honestly, I am not sure she is a deep thinker? But some say that she is being satirical. I am not so sure.

    You don't fine any of that problematic?

    I have heard one wise young person respond that "We don't need people to marry later, we need people to mature earlier". Amen.

    And, why is she anti-young marriage? Age is a number, right? Many older people are immature, and many young people are quite mature. It really depends on individuals, not age, wouldn't you agree?

  17. That whole list baffled me, frankly. I know plenty of people who got tattoos and adopted pets and traveled around the world after they got married (regardless of the age). Heck, I got engaged and married at age 20 and I've done many of the things on her list WITH my husband, who is my best friend.

    As for making out with a stranger... ew. Just ew. And I don't like hanging around anywhere naked (well, unless I'm giving birth, then I kinda throw modesty out the window. That's a special circumstance, though).

    That girl's problem is that she is making a very sweeping generalization about marriage in general and people who are married young in particular. It makes me feel very sorry for her -- I'm wondering if her parents married young and later divorced, and then one/both parents neglected her in favor of doing all of the things on her list.

  18. Okay going through the list one by one...

    1) Get a passport - nothing wrong with that (who says you can't travel with a husband and kids? As long you budget accordingly)

    2) Find your "thing" - not entirely sure what she means? Like a hobby or interest? Still can do that within marriage, at least my parents do :)

    3) Make out with a stranger - goes against the virtue of chastity and puts one at temptation to go further.

    4) Adopt a pet - if you like pets, go for it! How does marriage get in the way of pets?

    5) Start a band - I can see where it would be more difficult to be in a band if you're married and have kids, but I know several musicians who make it work.

    6) Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too. - And share some with your kids?

    7) Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage. - Marriage is *supposed* to be permanent. I'm not a fan of tattoos personally, but as long as they're not excessive, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with getting one. Of course one could make an argument that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and not ours to deface with ink, but that's a whole other discussion.

    8) Explore a new religion - Why do that when you could have the fullness of Truth with Catholicism? Religion is not supposed to be the same thing as a hobby or club you join....

    9) Start a small business - And you can't do this if you're married because...?

    10) Cut your hair - okay now this one better be satirical...

    11) Date two people at once... - Talk about disrespectful. People are not objects to be used!!!

    12) Build something with your hands - And yet again can be done within marriage

    13) Accomplish a Pinterest project - done within marriage

    14) Join the Peace Corps - done within marriage

    15) Disappoint your parents - Why??? Aren't we supposed to love and honor our parents? Why would anyone desire to disappoint anyone???

    16) Watch GIRLS - From what I've read, it doesn't seem very wholesome or moral

    17) Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting - there goes that pesky sin of gluttony...

    18) Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places - Why??? Why should we ever try to make anyone feel uncomfortable? Rude!

    19) Sign up for CrossFit - I'm assuming it's some kind of fitness program? Easily done within marriage

    20) Hangout naked in front of a window - How about we respect ourselves and save nakedness for our future spouse? What's so great about nakedness anyways? Hello privacy??

    21) Write your feelings down in a blog - nothing wrong with that and duh can be done within marriage

    22) Be selfish - but what about everyone else in the world? Shouldn't we care for one another???

    23) Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year - If only I had the money...then again, so many more beneficial uses of money...

    So yeah, that was a pretty crazy list and most of the things can be done WITHIN marriage!!!! I don't get it...I'd rather live a chaste joyful life with Jesus :)

  19. Oh and in response to Chelsea's comment: Muslims and Jews also agree that he had religious influence as well. Neither would agree that he is important enough to base the calendar off of him. So why should the calendar be based off of him for the Christians.

    BCE and CE just seems like a nice way to include everyone.

    Oh yeah Jesus just claimed to be the Son of God who died for EVERY person (not just Catholics, but EVERYONE, including you, CS), what's so important about that?

    And as I've said before in other comments, people are choosing to exclude themselves from Christianity. The door is always always open for all to embrace Christ's love. Just because you weren't born a Christian/Catholic does not mean you can never become one. People choose to reject Christ and follow a different set of beliefs.

    Also, life is not about being "nice"...I think Leila has an old post about that...It should be about finding and living out the Truth about Jesus Christ and sharing Him with all people.

  20. I have to admit I found the list of 23 weirdly disturbing. Basically she's saying, "You can (and should) do anything else, other than get engaged before 23." No matter how mundane, pedestrian, or troublesome they may be. Anything else is better than getting engaged before 23. It's a denial of what it means to be an adult.

    She'd hate me...

    By 23, I had moved twice, gotten engaged, began working, gotten married, had baby #1, and was helping put my husband through graduate school.

    I guess it was more important to me to be and act like an adult than to do anything (or everything) to not have to be dependable or responsible for anyone else.

  21. Hi Leila,

    I read the post much more as a blog post ranting than an article. And as such I agree that it isn’t particularly deep or even well thought out ( to everyones point one can eat a jar of nutella single or married.

    I agree that it’s an immature list but that’s precisely the point shes trying to make, that at 23 your still kind of a kid and you should be doing immature things. You disagree fundamentally with this premise, and I know that, but it’s not difficult for me to see the point shes trying to make.

    “And, why is she anti-young marriage? Age is a number, right? Many older people are immature, and many young people are quite mature. It really depends on individuals, not age, wouldn't you agree”

    I think people tend to have opinions that justify the decisions they’ve made for themselves. I’m sure your daughter would have a strong reaction of her friends sleeping around and partying, and I’m sure this girl has the same reaction to your daughter, because when people in your peer group start acting in vastly different ways than you would have considered it can freak you out.


  22. because when people in your peer group start acting in vastly different ways than you would have considered it can freak you out.

    No, CS, it's not that they are acting differently that freaks me out. What freaks me out is the extent of her selfish, careless attitude. And I find it very sad that she is missing out on the only person who can ever completely satisfy her -- Jesus Christ.

    It's like when a parent sees a child doing something the parent knows is hurtful and the parent naturally wants to prevent the child from the hurt.

    What would the world be like if we all embraced that level of selfishness and living only for ourselves? If everyone were to actually take her advice? Can you not see how empty that list is? Pleasure eventually wears off and then what? Could there be something greater than selfish pleasure?

    Look at how joyful Leila is with all her children. And JoAnna. And soon-to-be-mommy Cecily. Maybe there's something about true Matrimony that brings joy to people that they can then radiate to others.

  23. agree that it’s an immature list but that’s precisely the point shes trying to make, that at 23 your still kind of a kid and you should be doing immature things.

    Holy sweeping generalization, Batman. At 23 I'd been married for three years and was pregnant with my first child. I was also a college graduate employed full-time in my field, and I was a new convert to Catholicism.

  24. Hi Joanna,

    I should have properly prefaced, I meant that to some people and culture subsets (like the one the author presumably lives in 23 is awfully young. Of course no age indefinitely means the same thing to everyone but in some groups that considered crazy young.


  25. I would hope that a very small subset of our culture considers 23 to be "young and immature." Presumably, most people that age are either college graduates, working toward a degree, and/or are working full-time jobs (or part-time jobs as they put themselves through school). Some are in the armed forces or have joined organizations such as the Peace Corps. Are immature people really capable of doing any of those things?

  26. Loved your "Ick. Ick. Yuck. Ick." for #3. One of the FOCUS Missionaries at ASU posted a blog post about that too. She is engaged and 24 and thinks both that article and the counter article that has been circulating are wrong for there own reasons.

    You can see her post:

  27. "at 23 your still kind of a kid and you should be doing immature things"

    This subset of people who consider 23 as "crazy young" is a new subset, since most cultures and civilizations expected 23-year-olds to be mature adults. It's not a sign of a strong culture that our young adults are arrested adolescents, indefinitely. It's a sign of a culture that is cracking at the foundations.

    You've probably heard me say it before: "Where have all the grown-ups gone?" I think the idea of growing up may have gone out with the Greatest Generation, but I am going to make darn sure it does not happen with my kids. I can't guarantee it (the Peter Pan culture is hard to fight), but I am doing my best. Instilling the concepts of virtue (age old, tried and true) is a great place to start.

    For the record, I was a very immature 23 when I got married, but I am SO glad I did get married then, as it was the marriage itself that matured me. And hubby, too, who is a year older than I.

  28. Hi Margo,

    I think we may be around the same age. (I’m 24) I hope you wont find it patronizing if I share something with you that I’ve recently learned sometimes, often, in fact people change and grow. It seems simple but its something I’ve had to really remind myself of to understand changing circumstances. The slutty girls, they stop being slutty and commit. The wanderers get lonely and settle down. This doesn’t always happen of course but it can.

    I’m not arguing that she should forever live her life. Shes knows she has to grow up she just doesn’t want to do it now. There is time for mortgages and babies, but if you time it right there can also be time for jello shots and making out with strangers and learning about the world. There are so many wonderful great things in life, marriage and babies are some of them, but there are other things too. I don’t see a girl disdainful of marriage I see a young woman trying to live out her youth


  29. It seems to me that jello shots and making out with strangers will teach you all the wrong things, and could very well lead to some hard lessons (dealing with an STD from the stranger, for example, or becoming a paraplegic if you drive home after those jello shots).

  30. Margo - Hi!

    I understand what you are coming from. You are starting with the assumption that you are correct. I get that, I think I am right as well.

    However it is also rather weird to think of what you said from every other perspective. I am in no way have any intention of "rejecting Christ". There is no ceremony, no nothing at all. I read and thought a lot and came to my own conclusion which feels comfortable and right.

    You make it sound like there is a magnet pulling everyone into Christianity. I can assure you that for many, there is not.

    Also, you can't really just say "but Jesus DIED for you!" because I know never asked him to do it. If you ever get the chance you can go right ahead and ask him to include "minus Chelsea please". The fact of the matter is, I don't hold much importance to the moment just like many other people.

  31. I don't find it patronizing at all, CS. I just wonder what is so wonderful about making out with a stranger and doing jello shots? I realize that both could be fun and pleasurable in the moment, but after that, what are you left with? Should life ever be about jello shots and making out with strangers?

    Maybe I'm weird, but I see making out as a sign of affection towards another person. How can you have affection for a stranger?

  32. Hi Joanna,

    I was more using what I think Leila’s definition of immature is.. I wasn’t saying that most 23 year olds are unable to act as functioning adults (in the essential sense) and take care of themselves, only that they most likely have ‘partying’ and ‘looking hott’ and having fun as priorities. Obviously that is a sweeping generalization but do you see what I’m saying.


  33. NO, Chelsea. I would NEVER ever ask Jesus to exclude even one person from His redeeming death, no way. How can you say no to Jesus? How can anyone? What makes you not believe in Him? And God placed the desire for Him in every human heart. Some people mistakingly try to fill that desire through worldly pleasures and materialism, but eventually there should come the realization that except for God, NOTHING in this life will ever fully satisfy you. You might think that you're fully satisfied, but God can never be outdone. So why not give Him another chance?

  34. Hi Leila,

    Why do you think that a society that has made 30 the new 20 is fundamentally crumbling? I see our society as post materialistic, where we aren’t focused on merely surving that we take the time to live and be fulfilled. If we are trying to grow up as fast as possible why not marry people off at 15 like we have done in past cultures.


  35. Hi Margo,

    no life shouldnt be about jello shots or making out with strangers. But you dont always have to be fulfilling your lifes purpose at all times. I must be doing an awful job explaining it...Its like you dont have children yet, you know that when you have children you wont want to go back to life without children. But right now, your happy even without kids. You have other things in life that sustain you. So does she. She didnt do a great job explaining what those things are, maybe she has a man she loves but isnt married to, parents or friends or other people that make her life rich. Just because she doesnt have a husband or family of her own doesnt mean she doesnt have anything.

    I think i must be doing an awful job of explaining it.

  36. Actually, my point is that without Christ, life is ultimately meaningless. He did not give us the gift of life so we can do jello shots, He gave us life to be loved and to share His love with others. Everyday, we make choices that affect eternity. Either we choose Christ now and spend eternity in Heaven with Him or we live lives of pleasure without Christ and that becomes our eternity, minus the pleasure. So is pleasure really worth an eternity of being cut off from Christ in Hell?

  37. My biggest problem with her article is her assertion that if you get married/engaged prior to age 23, your life is worthless, meaningless, and fulfilling. Personally, I think a life devoted to imbibing jello shots and making out with strangers is rather empty and meaningless.

  38. I am doing just fine thank you very much.

    I also know many older people who have never gotten this "realization" you talk of. Many of whom had lovely childhoods where they believed in God than they grew to understand they did not.

  39. Margo - From why I read, you must think I (and I think CS) have horrible lives where we wander the world screwing everyone trying to fill a hole in our hearts.

    I can assure you this is not the case, but thanks for the concern!

  40. Actually, I'm not really sure what either you or CS do with your lives. All I know is what you're missing out on - the love of Christ. While you are both free to choose to ignore His love and wish He didn't love you, you can never stop Christ from loving you. He will love you all the way until you die and then He will respect your choice to either desire His mercy or be apathetic towards Him. Life revolves around Christ. And there is so much more pleasure in living for Christ than merely living for yourself. Why not give Christ a chance????

  41. "I see our society as post materialistic, where we aren’t focused on merely surving that we take the time to live and be fulfilled."

    I see it differently. I see this as one of the most materialistic cultures there is, and the idea of being "fulfilled" to people like the girl/woman who wrote the article seems to equate to pleasure-seeking and shocking folks. How can this type of immaturity be conducive to having good and stable relationships later on? I'm not getting the connection. If a populace is not virtuous, then how (in what direction) does it progress towards greater goodness, or even stability (especially in the children it creates)?

    "If we are trying to grow up as fast as possible why not marry people off at 15 like we have done in past cultures."

    But I never said that we need to grow up as fast as possible. I said that young adults should be maturing at a much faster rate then they are now. When they are 23 and still aspiring to be in the throes of adolescence, it's problematic. I have heard women in their late twenties whine, "I don't wanna grow up!!"

    I mean, really? I was immature, but I aspired to maturity and adulthood. I didn't think of it as something to dread or avoid. It's just the weirdest thing we have going now, and alarming.

  42. Sort of touching on what you are saying, Margo, I like this, from Msgr. Charles Pope:

    In a quest for illusory happiness, many will spare no expense, and even self-destruct seeking to fill the God-sized hole in their heart.

    But it never works, because our desires are infinite, and a finite world just can’t seal the deal. We are always left unsatisfied. Our complete fulfillment can only be with God. For now, we walk by faith toward Him of whom our heart is says, “Seek his face, seek always the face of the Lord!”

    Seeking the Lord does two things for us immediately and in growing measure. First it helps us stop thinking that finite things can really satisfy us and increasingly ends our frustrating, futile and intense running after these things. Secondly, as our prayerful union with God deepens, our satisfaction with the Lord also deepens and becomes more desirable than the finite things of the passing world; increasingly we can say that God really does satisfy.

  43. By the way, I really want to clarify: I am not arguing that everyone should marry young. I think there are folks who marry later (or never) and it's just fine. But the idea that a young person should pursue things on that list instead of get married is a tad appalling. And even if we ignore that awful list, it seems she is against young marriage on its face, which is sad.

    I look at the pope's words and see the counter to her worldview. His words are beautiful, refreshing, so rebellious! ;)

  44. Maybe it's just me, but I don't get all the fuss about 23 things post. This young woman, who is probably surrounded by engaged/newly married people, sick to death of all the wedding talk, and freely admits that she isn't ready for marriage, wrote a lighthearted post about things to do before getting engaged with a few offhand comments about things she does that her married friends can't do. She's venting - only this and nothing more.

    Frankly, as someone who can't have kids, is not in a position to adopt, surrounded by new parents, sick to death of all the baby talk, and often cheers myself up by reminding myself of things* I currently do that would be difficult/impossible with a baby or toddler, I can relate.

    *These things do NOT include making out with strangers… but my DH and I have been known to do the occasional jello shot. :)

  45. sthenryii, it's likely that she is annoyed, but aside from our agreement on that, I don't think we saw the article in the same way at all. Again, it was not just the "make out with a stranger" that was awful, there was a lot more (see comments above), and she also was flat out disparaging young marriage (I doubt you would disparage having children?). I also didn't find it lighthearted, but jaded, with a tad of mean-spiritedness.

    Just being honest, that's what I got from it!

    And you are right, by the way, to remind yourself of the good that exists even without the ability to have or raise children in your marriage! There are pros and cons to every situation the Lord gives us, and He wants us to embrace the good. One does not need to have children to have a fulfilling and beautiful and holy life and marriage, as you know well. :)

  46. Hi, Leila! I don't know if you saw this gorgeous essay on marriage and Middlemarch by Rebecca Mead, but I thought you would like it. And it fits here, since it's a great response to the silly "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged" post.



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