Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sometimes we all just need a little Catholic humor

As Nero fiddles while Rome burns (what were you thinking, America?!), I have to distract myself with some Catholic humor. Some of these made me laugh out loud!

Good Catholic Pick-up Lines

(Hat tip to my friend Deb at Litland Reviews!)

1. Confess here often?

2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?

3. You've got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

5. Let's get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.

6. You don't like the C
ulture of Death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

7. What's a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

8. Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless plaid jumper.

9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we're having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?

10. Man does not live by bread alone. So how about dinner and a movie?

11. A little bird... the Holy Spirit actually... tells me we should get to
know each other a little better.

12. Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.

13. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?

14. What do you think Peter meant when he said, "Greet everyone with a holy kiss" (1 Pet 5:14)?

#2, 6, 13 & 14 are my faves!! How about you?


  1. "Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless plaid jumper."

    BAH ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    Love it.

  2. Have you come across the Catholic Pick-up Line Song yet?


  3. I have three in shapeless plaid jumpers and they do look awfully cute! (Easy on laundry too.) Great post, of course!!!

  4. Melissa, that was a great video! I laughed and smiled all the way through! I wonder if any non-Catholics find this stuff funny??

    (Oh, and I realize the first link on this post is not working right now.)

  5. Thanks for the great laughs!! I love #6 and #7. :)

  6. I am a lurker, but I have to post. I actually have been hit on with a Catholic pick-up line! I was out at a local, casual Irish pub with friends from the young adult group after our holiday dinner. Surrounded by company holiday parties, it was hilarious telling people who were were when asked. We are in the South, after all.

    One guy was chatting with a few of us, and later in the evening he asked me, "So, if I wanted to attend Mass at St. ..., how could I do that?"

    I started giving times and directions. He then clarified his question. Yeah, I'll admit it...I'm clueless. So, this really can happen. Weirdest moment ever, and I did not give him my number.

    I love #2, #4, #8, and #14.

  7. I'm with everyone who likes the "shapeless plaid jumper!" HA! I did LOL at that one!

  8. These are TOO FUNNY!! "You don't like the Culture of Death either? Wow! We have so much in common!" LOL... true confession... me and dh's first date was pretty much full of line's like this lol.

    Love the shapeless plaid jumper and 1 is hysterical... it seems like there isn't a good answer to that? Lol (yes, I sin A LOT!).

  9. I loved the shapeless plaid jumper! Also, "a little bird...well, okay the Holy Spirit..." Truly funny stuff! I will have to warn my teenagers to be on guard for things like this!

  10. Hands down: 3. You've got stunning scapular-brown eyes!!!!!
    and I agree - #13
    Okay - alright - yes, #9... at least it is a kind one about home schooling!! haha!!!!


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