I guess this is a "Just Curious" of sorts, but only relevant to those who believe in sin, have lived a life of sin, and who now strive to live in a state of grace.
If that's you, I am curious about your excuses at the time.
When you were in your sin, what mental exercises, justifications, rationalizations or philosophies did you use to continue on in your sin?
Here's mine:
In my life, I never tried to justify or deny sin. From a young age, I knew right from wrong, virtue from vice. I got that part pretty easily. But once sin was habitual, my will was not prepared to go along with what my head and heart always knew. It was too hard to change, and I was living a happy life, after all.
It might seem a strange place to be. I never claimed my sin was not sin. I didn't try to make my sin look like it was virtuous, or even regrettably necessary. If someone had told me that what I was doing was sinful, I would have been the first to agree. I never used the "my sin isn't sin" excuse.
Nope, my particular line was: "But I'm a good person! Yes, I am definitely sinning. But God understands. He knows me."
Maybe that's the worst disposition of all: To know without doubt that one is sinning, yet to keep on.
In my short, perfunctory prayer every night, I asked forgiveness for all my sins (literally, this: "God, forgive me for all my sins. Amen."), but never did I think to approach a confessional. I'm sure I knew that a sacramental confession would require me to give up my sins, and since that was not in my plan, I simply confessed "straight to God". Because He understood me, unlike some pesky priest who might call me out and expect me to amend my ways. God and I were buddies, after all, our own secret little clique (though I barely talked to Him), and my sins weren't nearly as bad as all those other people's.
I was sinning in full knowledge and believing I was "special" enough to be given a a big, fat pass.
Yep, it was the sin of presumption, and it's as awful as it sounds.
Okay, your turn*: What was your excuse? Did you deny your sins were sins? Or did you justify them (make them seem "just")? Or rationalize them? Did you declare that they served a greater good (i.e., the ends justify the means) so that you were allowed, or even morally obligated, to commit them? Did you normalize them by choosing a crowd which sinned in the same way? Did you pretend that God didn't exist? Or that He didn't care? Or maybe you really, truly never knew that your sin was sin?
I'm interested.
*Feel free to post anonymously if you feel more comfortable.
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