Monday, June 17, 2013

Bye-bye Facebook!

So, I finally deactivated my Facebook account. I'm sure it's only temporary, but for me it's necessary. I have so little discipline when it comes to chatting and posting and reading on Facebook, and although I think it serves a great purpose (we need to have a Catholic presence there!), it has become for me, at this time of my life, a great time-suck that keeps me away from my vocation (wife and mother). And, it's part of the reason that this blog has begun to wither on the vine a bit.

Also, if I were to add up the amount of minutes (hours) I have been spending on Facebook compared to time spent in prayer, well, let's just no go there at all.

I will miss my conversations there, and the ability to link good news stories like crazy, but I also really have missed the great comment box conversations we've had here over the years. I want to get back to that. I want meaty discussions on cultural issues, and I also want to get back to teaching the Faith, simply and clearly.

Although summer at the Miller home is probably not conducive to a whole lot of concentrated writing and editing of good posts -- as we speak there are five boys crazily playing some kind of running, jumping, tagging, slamming, injuring-your-brother game right next to me, and the second story on which we are situated is bouncing up and down; I keep wondering when we all are going to collapse into the garage below -- it will at least be easier if I am not constantly drawn to the siren named Facebook.

Disciple and discipline are related words. I need the latter to be the former.

Thanks for sticking with me, guys, and hopefully I will have something of substance back on this blog soon.






27 comments:

  1. Leila - there are some great apps that you can download to help you limit your facebook time! You can set the app to only allow you on for forty mins a day, or whatever time you think it ok for you, and then it lets you back on. As a university student, I've found my apps (I have a Mac so I use one called 'Self Control') really, really useful!

    Discipline can start by using an outside source haha! :)

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  2. Emily, hmmmm, that might be something I need to look into! I am not a big app person (as I truly am still in the technological stone age; I still have a flip phone for example), but I will investigate! Thanks!

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    1. My mom's the same - but she says that's what she has kids for! ;)

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  3. Yup, did the same thing forever ago now. Welcome to the club! We should start a support group on FB... wait...

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  4. I go back and forth all the time on this. Mostly, I want to quit EVERYTHING and live in a hole (I know, not very evangelistic of me - but can't I still claim real life evangelizing?? I don't mind that!!).

    I want to quit because I feel like it brings me down all the time. Everything I see is negative. It gets tiresome, and hurts my ability to be positive in my own home.

    Also I want to get rid of my cellphone.

    Well, okay, I just want to be a hermit (with an eReader and husband and child!!)

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  5. I find it hard too, to stay off the computer, whether it be blogging or emails or reading other people's blogs or Facebook....I have gotten rid of Etsy for the summer so how can it be that I am on the computer even MORE???

    I tell myself all the time that when I stand before God He will show me the hours I spent serving my family or else the hours I spent on the computer. Working on the family part...

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  6. Sometimes I think we stretch ourselves out too thin. All the energy that is put into FB, blogs etc may be better served by concentrating that creative energy into one or perhaps two venues in which to impart our faith, discussions and what ever else we may find interesting. Trying to use too many outlets perhaps waters down our creativity to the point where the topic though may be superb to write about, now becomes less interesting, less thought provoking simply because we hurry to write it without thinking it out properly because of time constraints.

    I totally understand that we as parents have a duty and responsibility to our families first and foremost but that may be better managed by using fewer ways to get our message out, giving us more time to thicken the soup so to speak in our posts. You've got a great blog here and I've seen great discussions. I would love to see this blog continue in that tradition. You've done well here Leila and I know you've got a lot more in that little head of yours to share with the rest of us!

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    1. Aw, thanks Ordinary Catholic! And you are so right.

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  7. Monica, lol! Becky, I hear you! And Martha, that's the thing: It's such a stream of negativity sometimes, esp. as anti-Truth, anti-Goodness, anti-Beauty is being espoused by the truckload. Gosh, the "equal signs" on facebook that one week made me wonder if the whole world had gone mad? Facebook can make it seem like everyone is for gay marriage, abortion, socialism, etc., and yet it's not reality. It's artificial. But it intimidates or sways the weak or apathetic.

    And so much bad news. And everyone fighting and emoting. And toooooo much information, not enough wisdom. And, I actually still remember what it was like when we didn't have constant, instant contact with everyone. When we didn't know everything that everyone thought (it's okay that we didn't have to hear each other's opinions all the time). Also, a bad, emotionally-based idea (gay "marriage"! "Free abortifacients/contraception for all, paid by Catholics!") didn't have the legs to take hold. It's just weird now, and we are all so plugged in.

    Once again, I went to a restaurant a couple days ago (Beni Hana, with my husband and adult son) and lo and behold, a mother had her two children at the table (right next to us), and each of the children had his/her OWN iPad, which they were playing, at full volume right there were the chef was to cook all of us a (not inexpensive) meal. She herself was reading on her iPhone. I couldn't believe it. The kids were 2 and 4ish. I wonder if we humans are losing our ability to "be still" to "be quiet" to be introspective and contemplative. Or even to have basic manners and normal interpersonal relationship skills.

    Okay, end of my rant, but good gracious. We need to unplug, start to pray and be alone with ourselves, and teach our children that they are human, not mechanical.

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  8. Way to go, mama! Facebook is an energy vampire, among other things. Detest it, always have, anyhoo-- good to hear you'll be blogging more often!

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  9. Leila, I join you in your rant! I bring my kids in to therapy once a week for OT and the other kids are always on their IPads or playing on their parents phones. My kids are the only ones that play with the playrooms toys and books! The therapist said that a lot of childrens over-stimulation issues are actually "under-stimulation" due to too much "screen time."


    And, I hear ya on the FB "emoting." I think FB is great but it can be so easy to constantly be talking about "me, me, me." (I am including myself.) It brings so much self-focus.

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  10. Thank you for doing this! Not because I don't like your posts (I DO!) but I often wonder, "If I (mother of 1) am having a hard time keeping up with everything, how do these others moms do it and are online all the time?!" Its refreshing to realize that yep, they are struggling too. And I really do use Facebook to contact many friends I have from moving around my whole life (and as we prepare for another move! yikes!) but I really, really need to limit my time on there. Thanks for being an inspiration :) And I'm glad you choose the blog!

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  11. I got off FB a year or more so and I don't miss it at all!

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  12. I've been thinking about coming off Facebook. The sort of things I see posted are so trivial (e.g. someone who has found an odd sock and can't decide if they should throw it out), it's worse than day time television!

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  13. Tonia, whoops that might have been me, lol!!

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  14. You are a good example. Its amazing how "just checking in" on facebook can lead to many minutes or even hours disappearing. There must be a balance, since it is good to stay in touch with friends and family out of town, but I often find myself at either of the xtremes.

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  15. I have been discerning the same thing, Leila. It was very therapeutic after my brother died, to see all the FB posts in his honor and to share some pictures myself, but lately I've been thinking it has taken too much time away from my family. God bless you! Keep blogging! Yours is the only one I read, consistently. :D

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  16. On the other hand, it is good for people to see that there are faithful, articulate, and feisty Catholics in the world.

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  17. As a non-FB user (never have been), but husband of one, all I can say is - yay! The internet in general is a major temptation away from family joys and duties.

    Which brings me to the virtues (temperance in this case) - I'd love for Leila to write about those more, and if necessary also the vices ;-)

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  18. Brandi has asked that I post this note for her, as she cannot work out the commenting here yet:

    You could always do a special blog post "a week of what I would have posted every hour on facebook wrap". Just kidding. You were my resource library....several conversations with my husband went like this..."Wait Leila posted an article about that the other day and the comments were good, let me find it"....then I'd skip on over to fb-your page and scroll on down.... You will be missed over there, not just for the articles, the teachings, but the presence of hope that always seemed to be in your post…..

    You guys are all really sweet, and like I said, I will be back to fb when I can get myself under control, ha ha.

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  19. Your decision shows tremendous character and restraint--two qualities I like best about you. :)

    You know...social media has it's place but there is a disproportionate overabundance of micropublication with FB, Twitter, etc. that is devoid of any real substance to offer readers (followers, whatever). Who really wants to know what someone had for breakfast today? Or hear about the color and consistency of toddler vomit? (real posts in my feed) The vast majority of it is sheer eye-candy, pure escapism...no wonder FB now has over a billion users. It says a lot about human nature, about where we are as a global society and where we are going. We are only too willing to consume in these little mindless micro-bits of other people's lives but it makes it all that much harder to make the time to stretch ourselves and be challenged to THINK or even CREATE something of our very own...something worthwhile. (Like a well-written blog post!) ;) I do enjoy reading and sharing articles or finding inspiration from someone's photography or following the journey of someone's adoption on FB. But when you have to sift through all the crap that is in your feed first...maybe there is a disconnect somewhere.

    Anyways...all that to say, kudos to you! Maybe one day I'll have the strength to join you and Sew.

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  20. Good for you!!! My mom did the same thing about a year ago, as did a few of my girlfriends. I'm very tempted to do the same, even though I'm not on Facebook all that much. Mainly because all of the Facebook alerts come to my email accound and I find it very distracting. The other thing is that your Facebook account can now be utilized by the government for no reason, so everything you post and do is completely open to the public and can actually, be used against you in a court of law.

    Plus, you made a great point: what are we really gaining by it? Are we sacrificing our vocations or avocations by hanging out there? Good for you!!!
    Julie

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  21. I also discontinued my internet at least for the summer. I now use the public library. All for the same reasons. I still like facebook because it gives me an idea how my friends are doing and I can contact them. I'm not a very good person to be friends with as I'll phone you maybe once a year. Facebook, helps me stay in contact a little with those around me.

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  22. Marshall has a family!!!!! Not sure if you'd heard yet.... :)

    Leila, we will all miss you so much on facebook, but your contribution here, and to your family, matters most. Thanks for all you do, for being a great friend and orphan advocate, and a good example! Much love, Lauren M.

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  23. Lauren, thank you! And, I heard about Marshall, ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Jumping for joy, jumping for joy!

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  24. Leila,
    You won't be entirely gone from Facebook because I will be sharing links to your brilliant posts from my page! Just shared your "impose" post, loved it. I'm excited you'll be blogging more, you have a gift!

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  25. Bette, thank you so much!! I had hoped some folks would link me there! :)

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