Update! Because so many of you helped Uju in her quest to keep Africa pro-life...

...I just had to share this with all of you!

A few days ago, I received the most amazing email from our dear friend Obianuju Ekeocha ("Uju"), who first came to my attention when she courageously wrote her open letter to billionaire Melinda Gates. She later wrote an excellent follow-up for the Bubble.

Since that time, her Nigerian bishop asked her to put together a pro-life conference back in Africa (Uju currently lives and works in England). Suffice to say, she was stunned and overwhelmed, not having the first idea how to begin such a monumental task. But the Lord provided the grace, and after this appeal (remember?), you provided the means. So many of you stepped up generously and donated enough funds to pay the airfare for top-notch pro-life speakers to headline this groundbreaking African conference.

Here are Uju's own words soon after she arrived for the big event:

Dearest Leila !!!!

Of course you would know that I will at least send you a mail from Nigeria! There is internet connection but it is not at my fingertips as I have it in the UK where composing an email is only as difficult as picking up my iPhone. Here I actually have to connect a modem to my lap top and then pray for a good reception.

Anyway, I am so glad that I can at least write you at this time.

I am well and Nigeria is as lively as ever. As you may have seen in my blog, I am so so so busy during these days and nights as I try to prepare the landing ground for dearest Nicole and the 2 other Americans. Everyone is so excited about their coming. 

Having said that, Brian Clowes of Human Life international has already arrived yesterday (Sunday) and has already given 2 powerful talks and he has also met HUNDREDS of people. He spoke to about 600 seminarians and afterwards he told me that he had never seen so many seminarians in his life! And that is only one of our 4 major seminaries in this region.
Leila, there is such a high excitement here because my people are about to wake up to the great importance of defending the Culture of life .

By Wednesday our conferences begin and I actually did not realise that I had been chosen to give the commencement speech !!!! Ok. I should have known that our Blessed Mother still has a few surprises for me at the fringe of her mantle. Please pray for me to do bravely.

I was invited by the archbishop to his place last Saturday and after our meeting he spoke with my dad and gave me such high praises and compliments. And of course this was a real honour unto my dad and my entire family.

Again I would beg for your prayers because so much responsibility has been placed on my little shoulders and as the yoke of our Lord is neither burdensome nor heavy I will gladly surrender to it.

Many more things are about to unfold and I pray for our Lord to give success to the work of our hands for the glory of his name.

Ok dearest sister, I will stop here and go to bed, mass is 6am !!! I will continue to pray for you and your intentions here in Nigeria because I know how much encouragement that I got from you. Feel free to share whatever I’ve said here.

Much love to you and yours.

Uju
From Enugu, Nigeria


Shortly after this email was written, our own Nicole (Mom and Then Some) arrived in Nigeria. Months earlier, upon hearing of Uju's desperate need, Nicole had selflessly and joyfully offered her pro-life expertise as president of Delaware Right to Life. After working tirelessly across an ocean ever since, they are together at the conference at last! In this photo (which makes me giddy!), Nicole is on the far left, and Uju is next to the bishop:

I love these beautiful people! Ahhhhh!

I cannot wait until the ladies are able to give a full account when it's all over.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for what you have done to help Uju and Nicole facilitate this miracle.

Be sure to check in with Uju's Culture of Life Africa blog and Culture of Life Africa facebook page for more updates. And please pray!

How they met!

Who said that blogging is a waste of time? Not me! Well, at least not in this case! Indirectly, it was blogging, after all, that led my daughter to find the "Athanasius" of her dreams (even if she didn't giggle)!

If you are a longtime reader of the Bubble, you may remember that for the first couple of years I had the following written at the end of my greeting on the right sidebar: "For fun, I like to make matches between devout Catholic singles. I'll let you know when one of those matches works out."

True that I have not had much success (understatement) in my matchmaking endeavors over the past several years, but attentive readers may have noticed that my sidebar has changed to this: "One of those matches seems to be working out…."

Indeed! When I prayed to God to give me just one "big" match and I'd be satisfied, I never expected it to be my own child. Our Lord is delightful and surprising! And for fun, He allowed the Catholic blogosphere to be the means by which this couple found each other.

I began this blog in April 2010, and by the fall of of that year, some of my Catholic blogging peers had become good facebook and email friends as well, including the beautiful young Mary Mascarello who blogged at The Screllos (now private). I had never met Mary in person, but our email friendship was strong. That November, we were joking via email about the need for Mary to set up my daughter with a relative or someone she knew, so that we could be related. I told her my daughter's "type" and told her to get on it, ha ha. She did! She almost immediately remembered a young man she had just met at a Theology on Tap meeting, and my daughter can summarize from there:

My mom, the ever-aspiring matchmaker, has always wanted to find me a good Catholic man to marry. I will grant her partial credit for this victory. In fall 2010, she gave her friend, Mary, the task of finding my future husband. Mary, who lives in the midwest, said she had met a nice-looking young man at Theology on Tap. She told my mom about him and I received an odd text from my mother saying, “His name is Carter”. Then I received a phone call telling me she had found my future husband. So the facebook creeping commenced…. he was tall, dark, handsome, loved Augustine and Aquinas. Meanwhile Mary had told Carter about me. He sent me a facebook message right before he was off to the March for Life in D.C. and before I was headed abroad to study in Orvieto, Italy. 

The breathtaking duomo that crowns Orvieto was begun in the 13th century.
Very near to it is where St. Thomas Aquinas compiled his Catena Aurea.

He asked if he could write me letters. Of course I said yes. After all, what is more romantic than writing letters to a young man across the ocean from my room in a cobblestone, hilltop town? That’s right. Not much. On the first day of class, I received my first letter. The next day I spent a long time at the little paper shop down the street picking out the perfect stationery. We wrote letters back and forth across the ocean. I’d tell him about my Italian adventures and he’d tell me about the happenings in his life. We discussed literature, theology, our shared Catholic faith. When I came back to the states, we kept exchanging letters. 

Finally, he alluded to wanting to meet me. We decided to meet at a half-wayish point – at the University of Dallas, where my best friend went to school. Over my birthday weekend, eight months after we began writing letters and only a month after I had first heard his voice on the phone, I met the love of my life and future husband.

Fast forward to the proposal. By May 2012, Carter had moved to Arizona to be closer to my daughter, and we all knew it was just a matter of time before the lovebirds would be engaged. Again, I'll let my daughter take it from here:

On Christmas Day 2012, Carter was with his family in his hometown and I was with mine in Phoenix. After the Miller clan had opened an abundance of presents, Mom said she saw one last present behind the tree. To my surprise, there was a pretty all-white stocking with a white rose in it. There was no to/from tag, but inside the stocking was a small package. I opened it up to find the very first letters Carter had ever sent me. I was very, very confused because to my knowledge I had these letters in a special box down in a different town, where I was attending school. My mom played the fool and I called Carter, who pleaded ignorant. 

That night on my pillow I found another white rose and more letters. Over the next two days the white rose/letter combination kept appearing places… on my suitcase, in my shoes. Since no one would tell me what was going on, I dubbed this mysterious rose/letter giver the “Christmas gremlin”. On the 27th I left for Carter's hometown and apparently the gremlin had followed there, as the roses and letters continued! On the night of the 28th, I received the most recent letters Carter had sent me and I knew as I went to sleep that night that I would be engaged come the next day! (Well, that and the fact that when I had showed Carter a new lace dress my mom’s friend had given me, he told me I should “wear it tomorrow”.) 

Very early the next morning I awoke to a bed sprinkled in white rose petals and a new letter, which told me that it was snowing and to meet him in the backyard. Knowing what was about to happen, I naturally took about half an hour to 45 minutes getting ready. I walked downstairs and Carter was standing in the kitchen. He led me outside and guided me down the deck’s snow-covered steps (although it was not snowing!) to our favorite tree in the yard. And it was in this snowy winter wonderland that my future husband got down on one knee and asked for my hand in Holy Matrimony. And I said, “Of course!"

Yes, that is snow on his knee! No, she was not feeling the cold!

And there you have it! My passion for matchmaking and blogging has borne good fruit, thanks to the grace of a generous God (and the faithfulness of two great young people). Thank you for sharing in our joy as we prepare for the wedding which is fast approaching. Please keep this couple in your prayers, and let us pray for the strengthening of holy marriage in general, and the purity of young people. Despite the darkness and despair in this world, we must always be a people of great hope! God is an awesome God!

Engagement photos by Lexi Moody Photography

Pope Francis knows the difference between redemption and salvation. Do you?

AP

Secularists and believers alike seem confused by the recent words of Pope Francis when he affirmed that all people, even atheists, are redeemed:

"The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!"

Despite what one might conclude after reading the flurry of frenzied headlines that followed, the Holy Father was saying nothing new; the fact that Jesus Christ redeemed the world is age-old, standard Christian teaching. Consider the prayers we traditionally use for the Stations of the Cross:

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless You, because by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world.

Yes, the whole world -- which includes all atheists, all sinners, all people, even all things -- was redeemed by the Blood of Christ that was shed for us on Calvary. Jesus paid the ransom (the word "redemption" literally means the "buying back" of a thing), and His atoning sacrifice opened the gates of Heaven, which had been previously closed to humanity due to Adam's sin.

"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all…."  1 Timothy 2:5-6

The Cross redeemed all. Bam!

But (and it's a big but)… not everyone will choose to accept the redeeming love of God and its invitation to salvation. While God didn't need our cooperation or permission to redeem us, without our cooperation and permission He will not save us. God is a gentleman, and He will not bring us into union with Him unless we desire that union. Redemption has come to all of us, thanks to Christ's atoning work on the Cross approximately 2,000 years ago, but salvation is an individual choice that we each must make, a gift that we can accept or reject even up to our dying breath.

So when Pope Francis said that everyone is redeemed, even atheists, he was correct! It's a basic Christian tenet taught by Scripture, Tradition, and every pope before him -- but one that implies nothing about any individual's salvation. I wish that more journalists (and more Christians) were well-versed in the basics of the Faith, but the buzz and controversy gives us an opportunity to teach and clarify these truths for the world.

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For an even better explanation, check out Brandon Vogt's article on StrangeNotions.com:

Did Pope Francis Really Say All Atheists are Redeemed?

Still no time to blog...

…so here are some things that inspired me this week:

A priest for forty hours

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Have a beautiful Pentecost Sunday, the birthday of the Church!

 Jean II Restout

The irony of the CBSNews headline:

See, Gosnell is only guilty of murdering three babies, because the thousands of other babies he killed (same ages, same sizes) were killed legally.

It's sort of like when the Nazis killed the Jews. It wasn't murder, you understand, because in Germany at that time, the law said it was okay.

And if men make laws saying that it's okay to target and kill certain groups of human beings, then, well, it must be okay, right?

There are surely no other abortionists guilty of murdering any other babies day in and day out, they are only efficiently providing "reproductive health services". Aside from those three murdered babies (an anomaly!), all is well in Abortionville, USA. Nothing to see here, move along now….

Life is good!

Been off the grid for a couple of days and had a wonderful time at our eldest daughter's college graduation!

We are so proud of her, and we are looking forward to our other daughter's high school graduation in just a few weeks!

And I must say, it's been so peaceful, beautiful, incredible not to be reading and talking about all the darkness in the world, not debating about down being up and up being down, but instead just being grateful to the Lord for every grace and blessing (which is easier to do when one walks away from screens for a bit)!

In keeping with the joy theme, I hope to tell you in the next post how my daughter and her fiancé met, so stay tuned!

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Invite your atheist friends to StrangeNotions.com!

Hooray!

Whenever I get an email from Brandon Vogt, I know it's gonna be good. The email I received this morning was the best yet.

His new site, two years in the making and designed to be the central place of dialogue between Catholics and atheists, has just launched! It's called StrangeNotions.com, and as Brandon explains:

Strange Notions gets its name from St. Paul's speech at the Areopagus in Acts 17:16-34. There he proclaimed the Resurrection to the intellectual elite of the ancient world, who responded by saying, "you bring some strange notions to our ears; we should like to know what these things mean." 

StrangeNotions.com helps those asking the same thing today. Open-minded atheists will encounter reasonable arguments for God and his Church, maybe for the first time in their lives, and like St. Paul's listeners they’ll leave intrigued by these strange notions.

Hot dog!

The list of contributors includes friends of the Bubble (Dr. Stacy Trasancos, Jennifer Fulwiler, Dr. Kevin Vost, Trent Horn, Steve Gershom, Devin Rose, Joe Heschmeyer) and other Catholic rock stars (Fr. Robert Spitzer, Dr. Peter Kreeft, John C. Wright, Dr. Janet Smith, Fr. Robert Barron [swoon!!!], Leah Libresco, Jimmy Akin). Not to mention the myriad other giant minds! 

I am giddy. I am floating on a cloud. Here, watch the trailer:

And now, clear your schedule, grab a cup of tea, go to the site and start exploring:

StrangeNotions.com

Better yet, direct your atheist friends there. Truth be told, not every Catholic is able to debate these issues skillfully or possess the relevant knowledge, but the friendly, faithful, brilliant, and lettered contributors at StrangeNotions.com have that ability and are at your service. Let them engage your atheist friends and family with respect and intellectual rigor. 

Bookmark it, share it on facebook, feature it on your blog, email it to everyone you know. 

Did I mention that I am giddy?

Thanks, Brandon, for all you do!

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Gosnell is not an anomaly.

I finally had the chance to sit down and watch the 21-minute documentary on Gosnell's House of Horrors abortion clinic, which was produced as Gosnell awaited trial. Pay special attention to the women's testimonies:

Another young victim (just sixteen at the time of her late-term abortion by Gosnell) has a hard story to tell:

Now of course, you all know the narrative. We are supposed to believe that Gosnell's actions and attitudes are a shocking anomaly. However, I fail to see a moral difference between Gosnell and what is revealed in the following Live Action videos.

Bronx, NY:

Washington, DC:

My hometown, Phoenix, AZ:

And of course, the man we elected President of the United States, our highest leader:

Honestly, I can hardly believe we are having this discussion. I cannot believe this is even a debate. When evil itself is right in front of our eyes, and we cannot see it, or we calmly look away, or we justify and condone it, who are we? 

One of the clearest and most cringe-worthy examples of the avenging conscience that I've ever witnessed is this explosive exchange between pro-life Lila Rose and pro-"choice" Tamara Holder: 

Debate over shocking undercover abortion video

I actually felt sorry for Tamara, but her language, anger, and facial expressions confirmed for me that she knows. She knows. 

Lord, have mercy. On Gosnell, on the abortionists and staff in the videos, on Barack Obama, on Tamara Holder, and on all of us.

Holy Innocents, pray for us.

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Quick Takes: About that slippery slope...

Yikes, as I go to hit "publish", I realize that this is a terribly depressing Quick Takes! You might want to skip this one if you are having a bad day. (Although you shouldn't miss #6 and #7!)

1)  Sexual "progressives" have no natural stop, no identifiable point at which sexual "progress" is complete. Despite this fact, we are told that there is surely no slippery slope leading from gay "marriage" to the acceptance of other types of disordered sexual relationships. Yet amidst these denials, other minority sexual orientations are busy walking the legal and social trail that's been blazed for them by gay activists:

Consider three articles that I ran into on the same day.

First, Slate runs a serious plea for the acceptance of polygamous marriage:

Legalize Polygamy!

(Polygamy, by the way, is more naturally ordered than any gay sexual pairing; I'm not sure why gay unions are embraced while polygamous marriages are vilified? I think polygamy stands a good chance of winning approval, eventually, especially if folks are serious about "marriage equality for all". I mean, why not?)

Next, German proponents of bestiality protest a law that they claim discriminates against zoophiles:

German Zoophiles Protest Law Banning Bestiality

The zoophiles claim that they are "born with" their sexual orientation and that their sexual expression should be seen as normal, acceptable behavior that can be exercised responsibly. These particular zoophiles are advocating in progressive Europe, but American zoophiles are looking to follow the course that gay "marriage" proponents have taken here in the United States.

The third article opens a path for human/animal "marriage" someday, the way I see it. Princeton bioethicist Peter Singer is to be featured at a Yale conference promoting -- I kid you not -- "non-human personhood":

Yale conference to promote ‘non-human personhood’: will feature infanticide advocate Peter Singer

Hey, if animals can be declared persons (a designation denied human beings in the womb), then couldn't (and shouldn't) marriage rights follow? After all, Peter Singer and others see some forms of bestiality as a positive good, and we are told that it is much more common than we know (I believe that). Yale recently held a conference at which students were taught to be more sensitive to "sexual diversity", including sex with animals.

As to pedophilia, we've talked about the ripening conditions for its acceptance here, and pedophile advocacy groups continue to operate both here in American and in progressive nations. 

If it all seems too far-fetched, just remember that gay "marriage" used to be unthinkable -- even a few years ago. I actually hope we slip down the slope quickly enough to shock all the boiling frogs and snap us back to reality. Nothing is inevitable, and any society can right itself again if it chooses.


2) This is one of the saddest stories I've ever read, and we as a nation are guilty:

My Hardest Night: A Nurse’s Story

This is the very situation -- leaving babies who survive abortion to die without medical care -- that Barack Obama voted more than once to legally allow. Oh, to hear one Obama supporter, or one abortion supporter, denounce Obama's votes as evil. And today comes word that as Obama stood before an adoring Planned Parenthood crowd, he invoked God's blessing upon them. The bloody, broken bodies of the millions of God's children Planned Parenthood has killed were the proverbial elephant in the room.

And the irony of invoking God's blessing continues: Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, established her organization under the motto of "no gods, no masters". So, exactly which god should bless PP's work?

Interesting that Obama never once used the word "abortion" in his fawning speech to the nation's largest abortion provider.

Yeah, I'm rambling, but since we are talking about the evils of Planned Parenthood, how's this:

Planned Parenthood Sex-Ed for Children "Too Graphic" to Show Adults

The leftist New York Times and Washington Post rejected this ad as being "too graphic" and "shocking" for their adult readers, yet Planned Parenthood endorses these materials for children as young as ten years old. Why are we giving hundreds of millions of dollars a year in taxpayer money to this corrupt and violent organization that sexualizes our kids, and why is our president its biggest champion?


3) Logic, logic, logic:

Why Gosnell’s ‘house of horrors’ is the logical result of legalized abortion

It is not hard to understand. It is not "complex". It is simple truth.

There are not different degrees of humanity. Either we are all human, or none of us is. And no one member of the human family gets to determine the humanity of any other member of the human family. Not allowed.


4) Oh, my goodness. I had no idea until today:

At Boston's bombing scene: Catholic priests need not apply

As dozens of victims were sprawled across Boylston Street, many of them in danger of death, Catholic priests came running to the scene—and were turned away. 

Doctors and nurses were welcome at the bombing scene. Firefighters and police officers were welcome. But Catholic priests, who might have offered the solace of the sacraments, were not.

... 

Jennifer Graham captures the problem well: 

"But it is a poignant irony that Martin Richard, the 8-year-old boy who died on Boylston Street, was a Catholic who had received his first Communion just last year. As Martin lay dying, priests were only yards away, beyond the police tape, unable to reach him to administer last rites…" 

Where are we? What have we become?


5) Some more interesting reading I've done this week:

A Catholic Response to Utopian Modernity

Columbus Diocese Remains Resolute, Lesbian Teacher Basks in Spotlight

Gay Marriage: A Case Study in Conformism 

Where Masturbation and Homosexuality Do Not Exist  

(Hat tip to Dr. Stacy!)

Giving the Addict His Due
(This really convicted me!)

And, finally, perhaps the most disturbing and inspiring thing I have seen in a while:

Naked Feminist Protesters Drench Catholic Archbishop as He Prays Quietly
(With a great analysis here: Girls Gone Witless)

6) I have been meaning for so long to tell you about my friend Marcus Daly, who is a master craftsman, a devout Catholic, and owner of Marian Caskets, a family company which has so incredibly impressed me! Marcus and his wife Kelly live a life of beautiful simplicity with their six children on Vashon Island, WA, and his handcrafted natural wood caskets, inspired by the life and death of Pope John Paul II, are carved with the prayers of the Divine Mercy and inlaid with a Marian Cross. Truly awesome!

I never thought that caskets could bring supernatural comfort, but these do. Check them out.

Oh, and a bonus! Because of the family's commitment to the sacredness of life, a portion of all proceeds goes toward the purchase of ultrasound machines for pregnancy care centers, "so that pregnant women in crisis can make informed choices about the futures of their babies".


7) Won't someone go and scoop up Justin and take him home forever? He has been waiting so long. And his grant just jumped by several thousand dollars, all of which can be used toward the cost of his adoption. I know a very special advocate who would be thrilled to work with any family who commits to bring him home. ;)

Justin as an infant

Getting to be a big boy!

Click here for more info on this precious little guy!


Thank you, wonderful Jen, for hosting!

And next time I will try to be more upbeat! :) :)


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Harried moms: Don't feel guilty if you do a split shift! It's okay!

I am seeing a proliferation of blog posts today about babies and toddlers at mass. It's an interesting discussion, and I am a big proponent of little ones in the pews -- bring 'em on! 

However, when I saw one blogger (whom I admire!) mention that it's actually an "injustice" to leave a small child home (or take him to church child care, I am guessing?) and a "serious impediment" to his or her spiritual development, it crossed a line for me. I do not want frazzled, guilt-ridden moms to have one more reason to beat themselves up, so I am reposting my "I don't bring my babies to mass" post from last year. 

With docility we must obey what the Church in her loving wisdom requires, but beyond that, each family is free to determine what is best.

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I don't bring my babies to mass.

Yes, there, I said it!

Before I explain, here is the necessary disclaimer:

For all of the wonderful moms and dads who bring their babies and toddlers to mass every week, I salute you. No, I applaud you. No, I pretty much worship you! (Okay, I don't worship you, but only because that would be a sin.) You are amazing and incredible, and I mean that with full sincerity and from the bottom of my heart. In no way is this post meant to suggest that you should leave your children at home, because I truly love seeing little ones at mass, and it's a joy to watch them grow through the seasons. Keep bringing them!

But, I can't do what you do.

I used to think I should, and I used to wonder if I was wrong not to, but about a decade ago, I made peace with the way we do things in the Miller family.

I am not able to deal with fussy babies and active toddlers at mass. We've already clearly established that I am not supermom, and that my having eight kids is only possible through a tidal wave of God's grace combined with a delicate logistical balancing act that I keep recalibrating. For my personal sanity, I must keep things as easy as possible in order to make the "Leila has a ton of kids" thing work. There might be a few other moms out there who are like me, and to them I simply want to say that you are not alone, and it's really okay.

On and off over the years (the last two years being "on"), my husband and I have done split shifts for mass, which amounts to Dean taking two or three kids to an early morning mass nearby, while I take the rest to our regular parish later in the day. Any babies or toddlers simply stay home. As a result, mass is peaceful, calm, and prayerful. Since my life is not that way otherwise, I need it for an hour or so on Sundays. I mean, I reeeaaaallllly neeeeeeeed it!

Some questions might spring to mind:

Do you miss being at mass with Dean and all the kids together? Sure, but not enough to make me want to take the two-year-old. And, I know from 20+ years of parenting that "this too shall pass", and there will come a time when we'll go to mass together as a family again. But now is not that time, and we're all okay with that.

Why not use the cry room? Well, we do -- but only when absolutely necessary. For example, recently, Dean took some of the kids out of town, and I had to bring the littlest guy, Benevolent Destruction, to mass. No way that kid can sit in a pew without putting on the baby equivalent of a Broadway show, so while my older kids stayed with the congregation, I traipsed off to the cry room with the little man. That experience reminded me why I love the split shift.

We are blessed to have oodles of big families and many young children at my parish, and the cry room is just like my house a mad house. Frankly, Miller boys make it worse. There has been many a child o' mine who could not be contained even in the cry room, including the one son who had to be carried out of there by Daddy all the way into the far parking lot, where mortified Mommy (and the rest of the worshipers, including the priest) could hear his unrelenting shrieks and wails.

So, we've never seen the cry room as a good regular option.

Why not church child care then? Actually, I am a huge fan of church child care! We have used that wonderful option over the years, and we will undoubtedly use it in the future. Not every parish is blessed to have such a ministry, and our parish's child care (we call it "church school") is fabulous. The kids are kept busy with good stuff: They learn their Faith, pray the Rosary, sing Bible songs, talk about Jesus, celebrate feast days and the liturgical year, do arts and crafts, have snacks, watch videos, etc. But at this moment, my youngest is not ready to be foisted upon the lovely ladies who run the child care; I wouldn't do that to them. Also, I know that if I did leave him there, I would be sitting at mass just worrying. So for now, split shift is our norm.

The biggest question is probably this: What about teaching your kids to behave at mass by taking them consistently from their infancy? My answer is simply that it's never been a problem for us. When my children reach a certain age -- or rather, a certain level of self-control -- we start bringing them to mass regularly. And for child after child, they've adapted just fine. They sit through mass quietly (as quietly as little kids can), and we all have a peaceful hour of worship. So for me, the whole thing is just a wait-it-out-till-they-are-mature-enough situation. At about age four or five, they suddenly become mass-goable. It's like a dream, and it works for us.

And to put another worry to rest, I have living proof -- in the form of tweens, teens, and even a couple of adults now -- that children do not grow up and leave the Church because they missed mass as babies.

Parenting little children is hard, and much of that difficulty cannot be avoided. But if a split shift eases the difficulty, if it helps keep you sane for the rest of the week, if it affords you that bit of tranquility you need, if it works for you, then do it, and be at peace.

That's what I do.

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