Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I love our men!!!

Today I got to be a fly on the wall as the only woman in a room full of dozens of men! I gave a five-minute talk of encouragement to these wonderful, faithful men, who are leaders in our diocesan men's programs in some way. These were our husbands, our sons, our brothers, our priests and our deacons, and our shepherd in the Diocese of Phoenix, Bishop Thomas Olmsted!

Ladies, I spoke on your behalf, telling these men that we love them, we support them, we invite them and allow them to be men, because that is how we will best flourish as women! The men were grateful to hear it, as they live in a culture that denigrates everything they are. The thought of marriage and family take a backseat to perpetual adolescence, video games, and porn; fatherhood is mocked and deemed irrelevant; man as protector, provider and spiritual leader of his family is seen as some sort of crazy throwback at best, a dangerous concept at worst.

The men I talked with and prayed with this morning have prayerfully read and are ready to implement the Bishop's Apostolic Exhortation to Catholic Men: Into the Breach, which I wrote about earlier. Since women are more likely to read the exhortation right away, and men are more likely to watch a trailer (c'mon, it's true!!), here's the trailer for the men:

My sisters, please show this to the men in your life, and then have them read the Exhortation, privately at first, and then hopefully in small groups of other men.

You know, I have been in a room full of women countless times, and now I have been in room full of only men. Anyone who tells you that men and women are the same is not living in reality. I was bursting with joy to be there, reveling in the fact that men and women, though complementary and equal in human dignity, are not alike. Praise God! Male and female He created them!

I was so indescribably moved and heartened by the words of these men, speaking freely and humbly about their love of Christ, their families, their Christian brothers, and their mission to be holy and virtuous men. These men are ready for the battle to which God is calling them.

Ladies, be very proud of your men. Their hearts are big and they were made for something great. With the encouragement of this Exhortation and the love and support of their wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters, they can and will do great things for Christ and become the men that God created them to be!

I love our men so much!!


  1. Oh my gooooshhh-- Guys are an absolute riot. I love men! This world would be so blech without them (even though I love everything female, since I am one).
    I am so very grateful for the dudes, though. Life is more fun and fulfilling with them, especially when they are doing their duty doing all that masculine, testosterone-y stuff...being the studs they're called to be! Yaaaaay Men! ;)

  2. Yes!! Oh, Nubby, you would have loved these guys! They.are.awesome!!!!!!!!

    "...especially when they are doing their duty doing all that masculine, testosterone-y stuff...being the studs they're called to be!"

    This should be enshrined in a papal encyclical or something!!

  3. Love the quote from Nubby and I think that should definitely be in an encyclical! Jack and I got to give the Creighton intro session to about 100 priests, an archbishop and a couple monsignors from the archdiocese of the Military. As I was walking in the hall to set up and they were walking out for break one priest said "I believe you are out numbered my dear." I smiled and laughed. I really felt so affirmed in my femininity being around them and they were so much fun. I felt so protected and I could get the sacraments at any time if need be ;) Of course I almost cried to be around that many holy men of God and see the fatherly care they had for the people they shepherd. I love our men too and I will definitely tell Jack about this :)

  4. Kat, that is exactly it!! Yes, I felt affirmed in my femininity! And so protected, so respected. I just love our wonderful men!

    I am so happy you had that same experience (and gave me words!).

  5. So, I got this from a wonderful man I know! He gave me permission to post:

    To hear you and Nubby speak in that way. It is as refreshing to our masculine hearts as Bishop’s letter itself! Seriously.

    If every man’s wife spoke to him in such a way, even before it was fully deserved, we would have this culture of narcissism and loneliness beaten back already.

  6. Awww that is beautiful and so true! May we build each other up in our homes first and foremost.

  7. Okay, I hope you don't mind if I ask this but....

    Do you really feel completely at ease in a room full of men? Especially, if you are the only or one of a few women there?

    No discomfort at all?

    I always feel some discomfort around a group of men. I usually push past it and behave completely normally but there's still that base feeling that you are out-numbered and out-gunned.

    I always assumed it was just a base instinct we have. Kinda like how guys are sometimes distracted/attracted to women even when they don't want to be.

  8. StarFireKK, that is such an interesting and good question! I had to really ponder that and here is what I came up with:

    This group of men, yes, I felt completely at ease (other than the fact that I stuck out like a sore thumb!). I had just been to mass that morning and they were all at the same mass. They are all striving to be faithful men of God, striving for holiness, and not only was my wonderful bishop there, and priests that I know, but also several friends. So, in this case, I felt VERY comfortable and very safe. In fact, I can't think of any place I'd be safer, because if any nefarious person came in and tried to hurt me, they'd have to get through dozens of men whose instinct would be to protect me! What a safe and wonderful feeling! That's how it should feel, when our men are who they are called to be.

    But if I were in a room full of gang members, well, maybe not so safe. Or drunken guys in a frat house. Not so safe. But then again, I also would not feel safe among women gang members or female white supremacists either, haha.

    Maybe what you are describing is more like the healthy respect that we have for the man as stronger and bigger? I mean, I really do think we are unconsciously aware that men are generally bigger and stronger, and they have testosterone in levels that can really be dangerous if misdirected by a man who has no balance and self-mastery. So, a healthy respect for that strength is a good thing, in the same way that a man should have a healthy respect for the mysterious emotions of a woman, and her relational skills and intuition.... That stuff could scare them in a way, or make them uncomfortable, especially if the woman (or room of women) are unbalanced in their own selves.

    As for a man in a room full of woman, as far as temptations and impure thoughts, yes, that is surely an issue, not only with a room full of women, but even one or two women. Men are visual, it's not easy for them.

    I like what Dennis Prager says about the part of men's natures that must be controlled and overcome: The "sexual conquest" part (for lack of better word). That is what most men have to fight in their nature, in the same way that we women tend to fight our nature to worry. We worry and worry and that is also quite detrimental to ourselves and others. Of course, we Catholics can see both of those as part of the fallen nature of mankind. It's that concupiscence that we fight against.

    Anyway, I don't know if that makes sense, but those are my thoughts! :)

  9. Just my take on StarfireKK’s question to you, Leila:

    Do you really feel completely at ease in a room full of men? Especially, if you are the only or one of a few women there?

    I actually prefer this to being in a room full of women only because the noise and chatter factor is harder for me to listen to when it’s a lot of women. With men, it’s not so much talking over one another. And I think and communicate more like a man than a typical woman anyway, so I relate to that kind of dialogue better.

    I’m used to entering the male locker room once everyone is in full gear and we get our pre-game pointers from the coach on the white board. I freaking love it. But I grew up with guys and brothers and a brood, so I enjoy the verbal ribbing, the jabbing, the rousing. And they never disrespect me. They usually always say something nice like, “There she is!” when I come in (full gear of course).

    The women’s locker room is just not that same atmosphere. It’s usually several women trying to dominate the conversation.

    In the workplace, I was hardly ever alone with a group of guys, but it was hit or miss on how I felt, I guess. It was very professional. I mean, they were decent. I like the guys on my program team. They were helpful and funny and we got on great.

    So to your point, I guess the situation is always crucial as to how safe we'll feel. But if you play a sport with them, you find out right quick how much they dig the role of defender and protector-- and they are so unselfish with their play. I had the best guys on the team feeding me pucks. They could've taken the glory play. But they actually enjoyed the women on the ice.

  10. As for a man in a room full of woman, as far as temptations and impure thoughts, yes, that is surely an issue, not only with a room full of women, but even one or two women. Men are visual, it's not easy for them.

    This kind of temptation works both ways. Honestly, if there's a really good looking guy in the room, or giving a presentation, it can be distracting for women, even if it doesn't conjure explicit impure thoughts. Not easy for either guys or ladies. But I see your point is that typically men may struggle more, being more visually oriented.

    1. Totally agree, Nubby! I was always a little boy crazy. ;)

      I just really love men in general! So grateful God made us different! Swoon!!!

  11. Hmmmmm, thanks for sharing your experiences. They are really sweet.

    I'll think more about this.

    It sounds like it is a very positive movement by your Bishop. I hope the men find what they need. Because the good Lord knows we need them.


PLEASE, when commenting, do not hit "reply" (which is the thread option). Instead, please put your comment at the bottom of the others.

To ensure that you don't miss any comments, click the "subscribe by email" link, above. If you do not subscribe and a post exceeds 200 comments, you must hit "load more" to get to the rest. We often have meaty and long discussions -- trust me, they're worth following!